


Monkey in the Middle

by ElmiDol



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anger Management, Choking, Coloring in therapy, F/M, Force Choking, Inability to Conform, Just stay in the lines, Kylo has too many hissy fits in this, Possible Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Sort of a daddy kink but also not, That's too hard though, Therapy, Threesomes, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-20 22:55:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 52,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10672479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElmiDol/pseuds/ElmiDol
Summary: It started with a slip-up that left you mortified, and wound up with you interacting more with the man you idolized and the one you had feared.





	1. Daddy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ashley_Winchester_77](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashley_Winchester_77/gifts).



> This was my very first multi-chaptered Star Wars fic; it's from back in my lunaescence days. So it isn't necessarily the best. There are also some unhealthy behaviors explored, and those /are/ identified as such. I tried to tag all that I remembered. If anyone sees something that isn't tagged that should be, please inform me.
> 
> (Had to make an edit: this isn't my first fic entirely. I wish, man)
> 
> Also, there may be some errors because I have not gone through the fic in a bit. One of these days I need to and will.
> 
> For you, my dear, because you asked~

Daddy

A chorus of ‘Yes, Sir!’ rang out, however it was the single ‘Yes, daddy!’ that punctuated through the crowd and caused both General Hux and Kylo Ren to pause. Everyone could tell that the two, though they hardly displayed it, were taken aback. They were not the only ones. It took each and every one of the soldiers’ self-control to not look around to see who it was that had uttered out that phrase. You were screaming in your head over the slip. How could you have done that!? You attempted to keep face, standing perfectly still despite the sweat that dripping down the back of your neck.

General Hux’s eyes scanned the faces of the soldiers. Unlike the Stormtroopers, they did not have the benefit of wearing a helmet, a mask. Their expressions were perfectly visible. Beside him, Kylo Ren was watching General Hux as much as the crowd.

 _Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!_ you screamed in your mind.

His eyes were on you for a fraction longer than anyone else. He knew. The man had not advanced so high in rank due to sitting on his hands. Despite this, General Hux turned on his heel and left. Kylo Ren followed suit in a matter of seconds. You did not breathe a sigh of relief. The fact that he had made a point of showing that he wanted to know put everyone on alert. That slip-up would not be dismissed.

Sure enough, you received an order within the following two hours. The General wanted a word with you. You pushed back from the control panel at which you had been rewriting a few codes; this was standard, given that personnel had been rotated out. You silently prayed that you would not be assigned a new station, or worse, discharged. You stiffly walked down the hallway. It was a chore to breathe, so you forced yourself to take a moment. It would not do to panic in front of the General.

Said man was standing with his arms crossed behind his back when you entered. That he was facing away from you and considering a computer screen did not arouse any suspicion in itself. Your mind, however, was already suggesting nonstop that he was going to discharge you. Was your file open on the screen? Your eyes scanned the screen for a fraction of a second when General Hux hit a button and you were greeted by blackness. Wincing, you straightened your posture as the General turned and faced you.

He regarded you in silence. Strode forward a step, his eyes not once leaving you. “(L/n).”

“Sir?”

“You were present when Kylo Ren destroyed the cafeteria last week, correct?”

“Yes, Sir.”

General Hux half-turned towards the desk, whereupon there was a folder. He seized said object, which he then presented to you. You accepted the folder. The General regarded you with a neutral expression. “You will report for psychological evaluation at 1830.”

“Ah… Er… Yes, Sir.”

At that moment, you could hear the door open and close behind you. Boots against the ground. The light rustle of a cloak. Kylo Ren strode into the room. “You presume her daddy issues stem from a case of PTSD….because I destroyed a portion of the cafeteria?” You could almost hear the scoff in that deep voice as he spoke. You stood stiffly as the man drew close to your side. He was not looking at you at all. He was facing General Hux, who returned the gaze with a level of sternness. “Perhaps your soldiers should be placed through more rigorous training if they cannot stomach mild displays of aggression.”

A mild display of aggression: the majority of the cafeteria had been destroyed and three soldiers had been placed in the infirmary. One had been medically discharged from the Order. All over a very small bit of bad news.

General Hux regarded Kylo Ren then shifted his gaze onto you. You were hardly breathing. The man was so near to you. You could see his lightsaber was in reach. If Hux disagreed with him, he would possibly lash out at the nearest object. Or person. Perhaps both. Kylo Ren’s posture changed. You knew, without looking, that he was following the General’s gaze to you.

“A scapegoat for your complaints that repair costs are unnecessarily high.” Kylo Ren took a single, long stride closer to General Hux, who lifted his chin in a defiant manner. “If she cannot stomach a little unease, I want her transferred.”

Without waiting for a response, the darkly clad individual left the room. A cool draft picked up from his movements, rushing over your body. You fought off the shudder that threatened to overtake you. General Hux waited until Kylo Ren had closed the door behind himself before he transferred his attention to you. You clutched the file, adjusting your posture into one that better fit regulations.

“Do not, under any circumstances, miss your evaluation. Should Lord Ren approach you with alternate orders, report to me immediately. You are dismissed.”

“Sir.”

You turned to leave only to pause when the General uttered out your last name. You faced him with a questioning expression, however you were quickly enlightened as to why he had caused you delay. No doubt many could hear it. The sound of computers being destroyed by Kylo Ren’s lightsaber. You knew why it was that this course of events irked the Knight of Ren as it did. Should it be established that he was causing PTSD in the General’s soldiers, he would be facing consequences. No doubt a verbal reprimand by Lord Snoke. Yet that would be enough.

The sounds of destruction faded. General Hux waved a hand in your direction whilst moving once more to the computer. He reopened the document he had previously been inspecting prior to your entrance as you exited through the door. You held the folder against your stomach, shuffling through the hall and heading for the nearest bathroom. You felt as though you were going to either pass out or vomit from the stress. You had felt the tension between the two, and here you were caught in the middle. You flung open the door, hunching over the toilet and losing a portion of your lunch.

Once you were no longer heaving, you adjusted your hair and clothes then moved to the sink. You rinsed out your mouth as best you could, cupping the water in your hand as a makeshift glass. You spat several times. Then, gripping the sides of the sink, you squeezed your eyes closed.

General Hux had all but told you that Kylo Ren would approach you before the day was done. Before you were to report for evaluation. If you hadn’t needed a psychological evaluation before, you definitely would need one by the end of the day.

You picked up the folder then opened the door. Immediately you froze. That mask was menacing as ever. More-so, given that this was the first time he had made a point of watching you. Without a word, Kylo Ren snatched the folder from you, opened it, and read the document within. Your orders to see the psychologist for evaluation. Your basic information. Age, date of birth, name. Height. Weight. His hand snapped the folder closed. The Knight of Ren began to walk down the hallway, your orders in tow.

“Ah! S-sir!” You scrambled after him. Fear welled up inside you as you moved in pursuit, however you knew that you would be in just as much trouble if you neglected to retrieve the folder. “Lord Ren!”

“Your evaluation has been moved to 1350.”

Your heart hiccupped in your chest. That was five minutes from the current time, and you knew it was not by General Hux’s orders that this was taking place. You bit on the insides of your cheeks as you quickened your pace to keep up with Kylo Ren.

“The General—“

“Yes. Call daddy and ask him for permission.” You blanched, nearly tripping on your own feet as his comment caught you off guard. You glanced over your shoulder at the door that led to the room where the General remained. Did Kylo Ren truly wish for you to call to him? He was not waiting either way, his footsteps continuing to echo in the hallway.

“Er… Lord Ren, I … I need to report to da—the General!” You swore inside your head at the slipup. You had nearly referred to General Hux as daddy yet again. Kylo Ren did pause in his steps. He turned, no doubt only because you had stopped following him. Your heart raced in your chest. “I… He… It’s orders, Sir.”

You were trembling as you backtracked a few paces and fumbled with the door panel. It opened in what seemed to be slow motion, though it was at its normal pace. General Hux was watching you as you quickly ducked into the room. You opened your mouth, however were cut off when the red-head addressed Kylo Ren in an almost mocking tone. He glanced at the folder that was in the Knight of Ren’s grasp.

“Interfering with orders—“

Kylo Ren’s voice cut off the General’s. “I am merely expediting them.”

_I feel like I’m going to hyperventilate._

It took all you had to remind yourself to breathe normally. General Hux closed the distance between himself and Kylo Ren, who hardly reacted at the man’s approach. Your superiors regarded you as well before the red-head nodded. The General motioned to you with two fingers in a summoning gesture. You felt a lump form in your throat as you moved to obey.

At least when your evaluation had been scheduled for 1830, you had time to prepare. Now it seemed as though it would be a more immediate issue. And both General Hux and Kylo Ren were going to observe. You balled your hands into fists as you followed along behind the pair. They were walking level with one another. The folder was still in Kylo Ren’s grasp.

You wished for all the world that another solider had been the one to slip, had been the one placed into the middle of their pissing contest.


	2. In Confidence

In Confidence

The psychologist was perhaps the only individual that could ask Kylo Ren and General Hux to leave the room without either of them being insulted or otherwise angered. The two men obeyed the request, leaving you alone with the doctor, who then asked if you would take a seat on the couch. You hesitantly shifted in the direction of the furniture then seated yourself. With a smile, the psychologist asked you to relax. He waited until you were no longer seated perfectly straight before introducing himself as Doctor Wiu. You glanced at his nameplate when he pronounced his name. The middle letter was silent it seemed.

Wiu asked if you were thirsty at all, and you declined his offer of a drink. He lifted his cup of tea, took a sip, and watched you for several seconds without uttering another word. You had one hand placed in the other and were rubbing the back of it with your thumb. Bouncing a single leg. All in all, fidgeting nervously. You did not realize this immediately, however soon became aware of your actions and did what you could to cease. You glanced up at the doctor’s face then dropped your gaze to the ground.

He opened the folder that he had previously been handed by Kylo Ren. His eyes scanned over the contents of the front of the page then he turned the sheet and read that as well. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, which had you wondering what it was that amused him so.

Doctor Wiu moved towards his desk, whereupon he placed the folder. He seized a pen, clicked it open, and pulled a sheet of paper towards himself. His eyes lifted to you as he spoke. “(Y/n), I want you to feel comfortable here. Know that you can tell me almost anything in confidence. If, however, you present with behavior or say anything that indicates harm towards yourself or others, I will have to report it. You understand this, correct?”

“Yes, doctor,” you said. Your stomach churned a little as your nerves continued to irritate you. Stress from knowing that both General Hux and Kylo Ren were waiting for your evaluation to be complete was building. “Uhm… I feel…fine though.”

“Humm.” Wiu reached for the folder once more, flipping it open and turning the sheet so that it was lying facedown. “You referred to the General as ‘daddy’. There must be at least a certain level of stress you are experiencing.”

“Well… I am…now,” you admitted. You balled your hands into fists on your lap and pressed your legs tighter together. “Being under the scrutiny of both the General and Lord Ren as I am… It’s stressful.”

The doctor smiled kindly, his pen scrawling along the paper as he made a note. You felt a thickness forming in your throat. “If you would, (y/n), please tell me about your relationship with your father.”

“Er… I have a good relationship with my father. He and my mother raised me together, and both have been very supportive of my career. I… I don’t have daddy issues, sir.”

Writing on paper. “Hmm.” He tapped the tip of the pen against his chin and considered you. “Are you sexually active.”

“N-no.” You felt your cheeks heating up over the question, although you knew that it was not necessarily out of place.

“Alright. Have you ever been sexually active?”

“Yes.”

Doctor Wiu nodded as he made another note. “During sexual intercourse, have you ever referred to your partner as ‘daddy’?”

“N-n-no!” you stuttered out, your cheeks all the hotter. “Never.”

The psychologist set the pen to the page yet again, writing for more than ten seconds. He reached for the folder, his eyes scanning the document therein. You observed his actions, his facial features. He gave away nothing. Which made you worry about what he was writing down all the more. You did _not_ have daddy issues.

He set his pen down on the desk, rose, and grabbed a stool. He brought this within two feet of you then sat down upon the object. He smiled reassuringly in your direction, which did not comfort you.

“You are fond of your father, correct?” You nodded, and he mimicked the action. “In stressful situations, do you speak with your father?” Again did you give the same nonverbal response. “Have you found yourself more stressed since the incident in the cafeteria?”

“I… I don’t understand the question.”

Doctor Wiu made a gesture in the air. “If you are stressed due to Lord Ren’s actions, you may be associating the General with your father. If this is the case, I need to know.”

“I…am not… I’m not associating General Hux with my father, sir. It just…slipped out.”

“You have avoided the issue of being stressed by Lord Ren’s destruction of the cafeteria and your internal reaction to it.” He said this before humming in thought and returning to his desk. You placed your head in your hands. “What is your impression of Kylo Ren?”

“He’s…very intimidating, sir.”

“And General Hux?”

“Also intimidating, but… Ah… I don’t know if I… He’s….er… less of a loose cannon?”

Doctor Wiu nodded as he wrote on the page he had been making notes. “Now, I need to know: do you believe any of these feelings stem from your being female and they male?”

“I don’t have a problem working under men, sir.”

“Humm.” You hated psychological evaluations, however this was the most nervous and confused you had been during one. “Are you under the impression that either General Hux or Kylo Ren should take any sort of sensitivity training to lessen the unease you feel in their presence?”

“I don’t think it would help, sir.” You swallowed the saliva that had gathered in your mouth. Fidgeted once more with your hands. “I may have called the General ‘daddy’ on accident due to stress because I have a good relationship with my father, but… This _is_ confidential, right? What I say to you?”

“Yes, (y/n).”

“I… I am _more_ stressed being dragged into the middle of their quarrels. I… If I have any sort of … If my stress stems from Kylo Ren, then General Hux will be pleased, however Lord Ren will be angry… And that anger will be directed at me. On the other hand, if my stress is from a different source, Kylo Ren will be pleased, but General Hux will be upset, and what if he transfers me? I like my job where I am, sir. I… We draw straws to see who it is that delivers the bad news to Kylo Ren, and I haven’t picked the shortest straw yet. But here it is that I may be… I feel like a kid in the middle of two fighting parents.”

“So… The General is your father in this instance, and Kylo Ren your mother?”

You openly gaped at the doctor then managed to choke out, “No!”

“I am confused then, (y/n).”

“I… What I mean is… I don’t want to disappoint either of them. However, they have conflicting orders and views at times where it is difficult to please both. I’m sure I’m not the only one who is stressed.”

“You _are_ the only one to shout ‘Yes, daddy’ at the General. It has worried him. You are his subordinate, and it is part of his duty to ensure that all members of the staff are in a position and state of mind where they can perform their tasks. There have been no complaints from your co-workers, so I believe that you and I should meet every three days for the next two months. I am interested to see where the root of the problem lies, however I am under the impression that the stress from encountering both Kylo Ren and the General today…coupled with the embarrassment of your slip…will give us a false lead.”

As he spoke, he was writing down on his notepad then pulling over a sheet of paper. It looked similar to a prescription pad, however you knew better. He was writing down appointment times for you. He handed you this smaller sheet, which you glanced at before folding it and tucking it into the pocket of your pants. Doctor Wiu then walked to the door, opening it and holding the door open for you. You shuffled towards the exit, your head bowed the slightest bit so that you would not have to look at either the General or the Knight of Ren.

You could feel them both staring at you before their attention was drawn to Doctor Wiu when said man cleared his throat. He revealed his plan to see you, while at the same time he assured both of your superiors that your meetings with him would not interfere with work. You were fit to complete your duties, however should not be given additional tasks until the doctor fully cleared you.

“I see,” General Hux said. He turned to you and gave the command for you to return to your duties. You responded accordingly then left to obey.

_**Three Hours Later** _

You finished typing in the new codes for the system then relaxed in your chair. You breathed out a sigh of relief as you lounged for a few seconds. With a hand against your forehead, you stared up at the ceiling. It would soon be time for dinner, however you found that your nerves were still too upset for you to even think of eating. You readjusted yourself in the chair and reached for the file that held the task list for the following day. Your eyes started to scan the page when you became aware of breathing behind you.

Blinking, you turned the chair to look over your shoulder and then winced. You did not know how long Kylo Ren had been sitting there in the corner, however you knew it had been for more than a few minutes. You straightened your posture and asked if there was anything he needed. Your voice trembled as you spoke.

It felt as though only a mask was staring back at you. As though it was a ghost that was in the room with you, or some empty husk. The only thing that indicated otherwise was the sound of breathing. And the way that, after a few more seconds, he tilted his head to the side.

“Er… Sir?”

“You are under orders to not complete tasks above your daily duties.” You bit on the insides of your cheeks and nudged aside the file. He continued to stare your way, and you found yourself unconsciously slouching as you curled in towards yourself. Catching these actions, however, you quickly adjusted your posture. He rose from his seat and walked out of the room without another word.

You turned back to the computer screen, eyeing the file in your peripheral. Doing certain tasks relaxed you. Typing in codes aided in distracting your mind from the current position you were in. Yet if you did more work, you were certain that neither Kylo Ren nor General Hux would be pleased, as that would be you disobeying the psychologist’s orders. You rolled your eyes, logged out of the system, and set aside the file so that you could conduct the tasks the next day.

Though you were not hungry, you decided it would be best to make an appearance in the cafeteria. The new cafeteria. Once there, you grabbed a tray and stood in line to get food. You were not hungry in the least. The very smell of food was making you sick to your stomach. All the same, you grabbed a roll and dished up a few vegetables. Allowed the person beside you to set a cup of Jell-o onto your tray. You glanced towards him, forcing a smile. He and you had done a few tasks together, and you had agreed to watch one another’s backs where possible. Jell-o would be the lightest thing on your stomach. You thanked him then went over to an empty table.

One of your roommates joined you in a matter of minutes. You slowly consumed the small cup of gelatin as you and she discussed a few of the changes that had been implanted over the last week. After dinner, the pair of you went into the training room. You did a few light exercises as well as spotted your roommate. The two of you returned to your shared room. She climbed up to the top bunk on the left side of the room while you slipped onto the bottom bunk on the opposite side.

“Hey, (l/n),” she whispered after the two of you turned out the lights. Your other two roommates would not return until later; they were on night duty.

You stretched, rolled onto your side, and said, “Yeah, Livry?”

“Are you really the one that called the General ‘daddy’? People were talking.”

“People are shit,” you mumbled. “Yeah… Yes, that was me.” You could hear Livry shift on the bed across the room. She asked what the General had wanted when he had summoned you. You groaned then explained the position you were in.

“Wow. So, what’d the good doctor ask, if you feel inclined to share?”

“Apparently a lot of people think I have daddy issues. He asked if I had sexual relations wherein I refer to my partner as daddy.” She snorted when she laughed, and you found yourself smiling for the first time in regards to the situation. “I have to see him again tomorrow after breakfast.”

“Well, good luck.”

“Thanks. I need it.”

_**Following Morning; Post-Breakfast** _

You were seated in a relaxed position on the couch in Doctor Wiu’s office. The man had a manila folder on his desk that you knew had your name on it. He opened it, ran his eyes across the sheet, and then picked up a pen. He asked how you were feeling, and you responded that you were fine. You fiddled with your thumbs, your eyes roaming along the various walls and decorations. It was a standard psychologist office.

“(Y/n), please describe for me General Hux and Kylo Ren in a single word.”

“Uh…dominant?” You blinked, tilted your head to the side, and then nodded. “They’re both dominants… Probably why they don’t get along.”

“I see.” Scrawling, as usual. Doctor Wiu looked straight at you with that light smile as he continued to question you. “And how would you describe yourself?”

“Ah… In terms of…the workplace, or…?”

“Yes, let’s start with the workplace. A single word.”

You bit down on your bottom lip. Part of you wanted to say hardworking, yet you did not want to toot your own horn. You brushed back some of your hair. “Uhm… Obedient.”

“I see. You are obedient to dominants?” You blinked at the wording and felt your cheeks heat up. The doctor noticed this and made notes on his file.

You started to stand then seated yourself again on the couch. “Er… Doctor, I… I don’t like being dominated.”

“Ah. So do you believe your stress stems from having to be obedient to two dominants? The demands of one superceding the other’s. Does this stress you?”

“I… Uh… This isn’t… I am… In one word, I am… hardworking.”

Doctor Wiu set his pen down. He placed his elbows on the desk and rested his chin atop both hands. “Would you consider yourself more hardworking than you are obedient?” You started to open your mouth to answer in the affirmative then paused. If you said yes, then would he report to General Hux that you were possibly a liability, that you should not be trusted? When you said nothing, the psychologist lifted his pen. You watched him make yet another note.

“Somewhere along the line of both, I suppose,” you said at long last.

“Mm.” Doctor Wiu once more set aside his pen. He walked towards the door and there paused. “(Y/n), are you comfortable in this setting?”

“Uhm… Mostly, yes.”

“That’s good,” he said in a calm tone. “To see if your stress stems from either General Hux or Kylo Ren, I am going to have each of them come in here for a period of ten minutes. One at a time. You will remain in here during this time.” You started to adjust yourself. “No. Please, remain in a relaxed position. You will not be reprimanded for it while in this office.”

You felt ill at ease as Doctor Wiu opened the door and summoned in the General. Your eyes fell to the floor. The red-haired man entered the room at an even pace. Rather than be seated, he walked to the side of you and remained standing. The psychologist once more seized the stool and positioned it in the center of the room. He took a seat there, turned to the General, and addressed the man.

“Sir, if you could please take a seat beside (y/n).”

Subconsciously, you were straightening your posture as General Hux took a seat on the cushion beside yours. Doctor Wiu asked if you were both comfortable. The General answered stiffly, while you muttered out a weak ‘yes, sir.’ Doctor Wiu hummed, and you looked directly at him. In the side of your vision, you could see General Hux consider you for half a beat then return his attention to the doctor. Rather than address the newcomer, your superior, Doctor Wiu returned his attention to you.

“How are you feeling, (y/n)?”

“F-fine, sir.” Your chest felt a little heavier than usual, however this was no doubt due to the increase in your pulse. You wondered why it was he was asking this question when he had already done so.

Doctor Wiu ran a hand over the lower half of his face. “I understand that you have been here for a little under a year. How long exactly?”

“I’ve been stationed here for roughly eight and a half months, sir.”

“Good. In that time, has anything occurred to cause you excess distress?” You blinked twice. “It’s alright to be open, (y/n). The General’s presence should not affect your answer.”

“I…” You paused, taking a moment to breathe. You fought against urges to fidget. Beside you, General Hux had dipped his chin and was considering the floor. He was, however, listening to you and you were more than aware of this. “Uhm… The, uh, cafeteria… When Lord Ren… Because the kitchen staff forgot to order… When he destroyed the cafeteria and placed a few people in the infirmary.”

“What about that distressed you the most?”

“His lightsaber. He was cutting through a lot. And then… I had heard of the Force, but… I hadn’t expected it to be used against …subordinates.”

Doctor Wiu nodded again. He turned to the General, at last addressing the man. “Please send Lord Ren in.”

You tensed as General Hux stood from the couch and went to the door. Forgot to breathe when Kylo Ren strode into the room. The door closed behind him simultaneous to Doctor Wiu asking if the Knight of Ren would take a seat beside you. You felt dizzy as the darkly clad male did so. He, on the other hand, settled back against the couch. Doctor Wiu ignored Kylo for a moment as he asked you, for a third time, how you were feeling.

“…” You were trying to remember to breathe. Then his question registered in your brain. “F…fine, sir.” Very quiet.

“Would you feel more comfortable if Lord Ren placed his lightsaber on my desk?”

That masked face turned so that the Kight of Ren was regarding you. You tried to shrink in on yourself, tried to become a pile of nothingness. When you did not respond, the psychologist asked Kylo Ren to do just that. The fingers on Kylo’s right hand twitched. You felt your throat clench and you squeezed your eyes closed. Beside you, you could hear movement as the man obliged to Doctor Wiu’s request. The doctor thanked the Knight of Ren, who once more took a seat beside you.

“How long exactly have you been working here, (y/n)?”

You pressed your legs tightly together, squeezed your shoulder blades towards one another, and tried, but failed, to keep your voice level. “Ei… Approximately eight and a half months, sir.”

“Good. And in that time, has anything occurred to cause you excess distress?”

 _Holy crap, he’s setting me up._ Your mind screamed at you to leap up from the couch and run out of the room. You did not obey, knowing that you wouldn’t get far.

You started to shake your head. Doctor Wiu’s nodded and spoke up. “Please be open, (y/n). Lord Ren’s presence should not affect your answer.”

You winced, feeling Kylo Ren once more watching you. You were nearly hyperventilating. “S-s-sir, I…”

Doctor Wiu lifted the recording device he had told you would be used during your sessions with him. “Now, I am going to play this, and then we will discuss—no, (y/n), please be silent.”

You closed your mouth and lowered your eyes to the floor as the psychologist played a portion from a few minutes ago. Wherein you were expressing, in General Hux’s presence, that Kylo Ren’s destruction of the cafeteria had caused you some distress. Doctor Wiu hit stop on the device, returned the tape to where he could record more, and hit the appropriate button. Doctor Wiu directed his gaze onto you.

“Is your statement on the tape accurate, (y/n)?”

“Y…y-yes, sir.”

Doctor Wiu nodded as he hummed. This habit of his was starting to annoy you, especially given that he was the reason behind Kylo Ren’s stare being on you. You shifted your body away from the man. You could hear the second hand ticking on the clock. Doctor Wiu was observing the way Kylo Ren adjusted his posture, the way you shrank further from him.

“Lord Ren, at the end of each of (y/n)’s sessions, I would like to devote the last ten minutes to having the two of you together.” It wasn’t the Force that was making it hard for you to breathe. Doctor Wiu walked to his desk, lifted the man’s lightsaber, and handed the weapon to him. Kylo replaced the lightsaber to its rightful place on his person. “While I do not believe General Hux’s assessment of PTSD is correct, it is clear to me that the relationship between you and your subordinate is strained.”

As he finished the last sentence, he had moved to the door. Once more was General Hux called in. Kylo Ren stood, his hands forming into fists. “(Y/n),” the doctor began, “can you please tell me of a time when General Hux has aroused discomfort in you.”

“I… When I was called to his office, I—“

“Thank you.” You frowned deeply, confusion nagging at your mind. Doctor Wiu went to the file that was on his desk, wrote a few notes, and spoke while doing so. “It seems you are capable of being honest in the General’s presence even in regards to any perceived shortcomings or discomfort. On the other hand, you are unable to do the same with Lord Ren.

“I am interested to see whether or not increased exposure will alleviate these sentiments. We can rule out what behavior is altered as a symptom of Kylo Ren as a stressor when that issue is resolved. Anything left will help us to determine whether or not Lord Ren is the sole reason for (y/n)’s stress.”

General Hux said nothing as Doctor Wiu handed Kylo a copy of your appointment times. The red-haired man had a confident expression on his face, however, that Kylo Ren reacted to. You could feel his aggravation rolling from his body. The way his stance was more predatory, like someone ready to pounce on prey and rip it apart. The Knight of Ren left the room in swift strides, and you knew that he would take out his frustration on the first person who spoke to him if he did not make it to an area that he could destroy things first.

Both General Hux and Doctor Wiu turned to you. It was the latter that addressed you. “Forgive me, (y/n)… In a way, it may be unethical, however… Your stress needs to be addressed as much as Lord Ren’s anger issues.”

Something clicked in your brain. General Hux and Doctor Wiu were using _your_ slipup to put Kylo Ren in therapy. You gripped the edge of the couch’s armrest. Staring blankly at the ground, it took you a few moments to realize the psychologist was handing you a prescription for anti-anxiety medication. You looked from him to General Hux. Your superior informed you that the prescription would be temporary and would not have any long-term effects on your career.

When General Hux left the room and you started to rise from the couch, Doctor Wiu caught you by the upper arm. “What is said in here _is_ confidential, (y/n). Your feelings… The way you likened the quarrel between General Hux and Lord Ren to two parents fighting will not be disclosed. You are my patient. If there is a time when you begin to feel too overwhelmed with sharing a session with Lord Ren, bring it to my attention.

“Had you been displaying symptoms of PTSD, you would have likely been transferred without any negative effects. As it is, your stress can be managed with therapy. The increased discomfort that is due to Lord Ren’s presence is what has led to the prescription. You are not the first individual who has been placed into therapy after being stationed with Kylo Ren. You are, however, the first individual he has seemed to take an interest in. No doubt due to your outburst. General Hux and I have agreed to take advantage of that. Unfortunately, it is at your risk. Now, how are you with this? How does it make you feel?”

“I’m…terrified.”

“Do you believe that this terror is manageable, along with your stress, with continued therapy sessions?”

“But… He’ll be in there with me, right?”

“For ten minutes out of forty-five of each session, that is correct. General Hux will call you into his office at least once a week while we continue our sessions. He and I have agreed that your workload will be altered to reduce as much stress as possible. Are you comfortable with this, (y/n)?”

“Not exactly, sir.” You looked down at the prescription sheet. “But, I’ll do it.”

He thanked you then allowed you to leave the room. You dropped off your prescription at the pharmacy and waited for it to be filled. You heard someone move into the seat behind you. Most likely another individual waiting for a prescription. You picked up a magazine that was on the small, square table beside your seat. You flipped through it without finding any decent articles. By the time you were finished, the pharmacist had called your name. You went to the window, where he explained potential side-effects, when you should take the medication, and other such information.

You turned away from the window then stopped. Kylo Ren sat in the chair behind where you had been seated. He stood when you started to walk towards the exit. You tightly clutched the bag that held your prescription as you quickened your pace. You knew it was futile, yet still you tried to leave the room before Kylo could approach you. His strides were longer than yours, and the two of you were side-by-side when you entered the entrance of the hallway.

“So, daddy wants us to get along, is that it?” That mocking tone lacked the anger you had expected to be in it. He grabbed the bag from your hands, reached inside, and withdrew the bottle of pills. “Duloxetine. How are you feeling?” As he asked the question, he popped the lid off of the pill bottle. You did not know how to react when Kylo Ren gave you one of the pills and made you stop walking by a water fountain. You placed the pill into your mouth, leaned over, and swallowed a mouthful of water along with the medication.

“I wish people would stop asking that,” you muttered as you straightened. The man was standing near you, and you found that you could still not meet his gaze even if he was always wearing a mask. You watched his feet as he pocketed your medication. “Er… Lord Ren?” Said man had turned and started to walk down the hallway. You shuffled to walk after him. “I—“ He turned down a corridor, entered and elevator, and stood completely still as you threw yourself into the confined space with him. The doors closed behind you.

Kylo Ren reached past you and pressed one of the buttons on the elevator. You shifted into a position at his side. “You’re scheduled for a physical. You will report back for regular duty after lunch.” You furrowed your brow as you tried to process this. “It has been agreed to rule out sexual abuse from your comrades as a stressor.”

“I… I haven’t been sexually abused.” No response. He stood perfectly still, and you became just as silent. Unlike previous incidents when you were given a physical, this time you were marched past the front desk. A nurse was waiting in the doorway. She accepted the pill bottle from Kylo Ren then took you back to the doctor’s office. There she took your vitals then said the doctor would be in shortly.

You despised physicals, and the pap reminded you of one of the main reasons why this was. You winced a little as you left the doctor’s office. You were more than a little irritated, and those sentiments grew as your file was handed over to Kylo Ren. So much for privacy. He inspected the examination results that were ready. Once he completed this task, the file was returned to the physician that had performed the exam while your prescription was given to you. You and your superior walked once more to the elevator.

At least after lunch you would be able to return to your normal work. Sorting through computer files, reading data… Things that would take your mind off the way your privacy was being invaded. Your nonexistent sexlife was now exposed to your superiors. You were being forced to hold therapy sessions, and with Kylo Ren present during a portion of each one. Why, oh why, had you called General Hux ‘daddy’?

You stifled a yawn and rubbed your eyes. You had nearly forgotten that one of the side effects of Duloxetine was drowsiness. You tiredly followed your superior to the cafeteria. Most of your comrades noticeably stiffened or froze when Kylo Ren entered. You, on the other hand, stumbled over to the pile of trays and started to grab some food. It was strange, the way Kylo Ren followed suit. Unnerving when he took a seat directly beside you at one of the tables.

“Perhaps you should go to sick bay.”

 _…he… He had me take the drug early on purpose… to…to sabotage my workday…_

“Jerk-face,” you said whilst lowering your forehead against your arm, which was set atop the table. It did not take much longer for you to lose consciousness.


	3. Self-Assessment

Self-Assessment

When you awoke, you found yourself curled into a ball in a dark room. The only thing that provided light was the computer screen in front of which Kylo Ren stood. You placed one of your hands against the bench on which you had been place and pressed upwards. You paused, feeling the slightest bit dizzy, and set your free hand against your forehead. The man on the other side of the room shifted his right foot backwards and looked over his shoulder at you. He directed his attention once more to the computer when a small ding could be heard.

You shakily stood, holding out your hands at your sides to steady your balance until the wave of dizziness dissipated. You adjusted both your clothing and your hair so that they were in line with regulations. While you were busy with this, your superior checked the file that had been sent to him. His fingers hit a few keys, which caused the computer screen to dim. He was finished using it. The man began to walk from the room, pausing when he was practically shoulder-to-shoulder with you.

No words passed between the pair of you. Kylo Ren exited the room, and you were left wondering what time it was for a number of seconds prior to looking in the corner of the computer screen. You had been asleep for roughly three hours and still felt groggy. Despite this, you began to head towards your designated work area. Your steps were uneven and you stumbled similarly to a drunk. A few of the Stormtroopers that passed you by turned their heads to watch your progression. Not a one, however, moved to assist or hinder you.

One of the higher-ranking technicians did make a point of asking if you were feeling well. You responded that you were feeling fine, just a little tired. He paused in whatever it was he had been doing and redirected his attention to chaperoning you to your workstation. You thanked him when you were seated in your chair and assured him that you would pace yourself. Due to you being on anti-anxiety medication, you would not be making the routine trip to the shooting range anytime soon. No fieldwork; all technical projects, as you had been doing for close to a month.

You grabbed out the file that held your daily tasks and then logged into the computer. You were thankful that your typing speed was something that drew jealousy from a number of your coworkers. It meant that you would be able to catch up on your work. That power nap you had been tricked into taking had set you back a bit. Not to mention the fact that you had missed lunch. Your stomach grumbled at that thought.

Time ticked by as you reorganized the files in the computer and reformatted others. Compressing certain files did not take long as you were able to have multiple projects going at a single time. As you were finishing the last bit of your work, Livry poked her head into the room. “Hey, (l/n), a few of us are going to the bar for some drinks. You should come.”

 _I should not be mixing alcohol with my medicine, should I?_ You bit down on your bottom lip as you logged out of the computer. You turned around in your chair then swiveled it back and forth. “I don’t know. I might turn in early tonight. Feeling tired.” You were not going to tell her, or anyone, that you were on anti-anxiety medication if you could help it.

Livry shot you a look that displayed her disappointment. “Come on, (l/n). Loosen up. Just come hang out.”

You blew a puff of air upwards at your hair, which had started to fall into your face. Even if you went with some of your coworkers, it did not mean you had to drink. They served water and nonalcoholic beverages at the bar. And some socializing could do you some good. With a sigh, you told Livry that you would go. She smiled immediately, perking up. You could not help but return the grin as you stood from your seat and joined her.

The two of you walked side-by-side to the bar, where some of your coworkers were already ordering drinks. You asked for a glass of water, which drew some groans from those around you. Scrunching your nose, you simply stuck your tongue out at them. You accepted the glass from the bartender. Taking a sip, you sifted through the menu to see what appetizer would be worth ordering. Livry accepted the drink she had ordered before leaning on your shoulder as she peered at the menu as well.

“That one’s good,” she commented. You took a large gulp of water as your roommate ordered the food, which she said the two of you could split. You weren’t about to complain; it was free food.

Leaning against the bar, you listened as some of your coworkers joked and poked fun at one another. Livry positioned the food between the pair of you when it was served, as well as the two drinks she had ordered. You eyed the one she nudged your way. “One drink isn’t going to hurt,” she said, poking you in the arm. You begrudgingly accept the beverage and began to nurse it.

Seven drinks later, you were giggling over much of what was said. The jovial atmosphere that surrounded you and your coworkers enticed you to join in on the many conversations that were taking place. When a moment of silence came to the area the five of you occupied, you slammed the palms of your hands against the bar in a loud drum that drew attention to you. You groaned as you spoke:

“Hey, hey, hey… Does like… seventeen months of no sex… Am I _deprived_?” Your words were slurred, however none of your drunken coworkers had difficulty understanding you.

“Dude, three sexless months would be hell,” Livry said before having another drink. You scrunched your nose as two of your male coworkers made comments about blue balls. “(L/n)… You just gottta… Just, like, pick a guy and go fuck him.”

“You can call me daddy tonight,” one of your coworkers, Bradley, chimed in. 

You halfheartedly glowered at him then waved a single finger around in a circle whilst pointing his way. “Listen here, _mister_ , I… You’re not my dad. I don’t even sexualize objects of the paternal assortment. I don’t… Okay. Here. I’ll… I’ll show you.”

You reached for a napkin, withdrew a pen that had been placed on the bar by another patron, and began doodling a picture filled with stick figures. You distractedly drew swirls around the entire picture then set down the pen. You turned back to your coworkers, who were each attempting to discern what you had drawn.

“The point is,” you started, waving a hand dismissively in the air, “I need… I need a _real_ man. But it’s not because I want to be _dominated_ , because the psychologist is wrong. I don’t like being submissive. I’m… I can be on top too!”

“Yeah you can,” another of your coworkers chimed in, prompting you to nod.

You placed both of your hands on one of the barstools, hoisted yourself up into a kneeling position, and then shakily stood on the piece of furniture. You set your foot atop the bar and there found a less compromised position to stand. You once more announced, at the top of your lungs this time, the need for a man. A few catcalls were made before the bar started to quiet. You were oblivious to this change in atmosphere as you started to survey the crowd for any individual that would catch your eye.

Your attention landed on the robed figure who stood mere inches from the bar. He was the very reason a hush had settled. You, influenced by the alcohol and the anti-anxiety medication that was in your system, failed to grasp the full reality of the situation. You pointed an accusing finger his way.

“You’re so… _freakishly_ tall, and I just… I don’t know how you do it.” You swayed a little, however managed to catch yourself through no graceful maneuvers. “And I don’t know why you act like a jerk-face, and… I can speak my mind around you. Doctor Wiu says I can!”

Livry, having sobered a little at Kylo Ren’s entrance, gestured towards you, her eyes darting constantly to the Knight. You were oblivious to these warnings, and so retained your position on the bar. When a wave of dizziness threatened your position, you shifted so that you were sitting with your legs dangling. That masked face followed your every move. You swung your legs back and forth, held your head at an angle, and batted your eyelashes.

“I don’t… I don’t think I’m stressed. I’m just…very undersexed, Sir.”

“I see.” His voice was deep, his tone unsurprised.

You nodded once then a second time. “So… So I don’t think we need to…psychologize couches and doctors together, because it really won’t do anything.” You pushed yourself off the bar, weaving a little as you stood in front of the man. He stared down at you, tensing when you started to reach towards him to steady yourself. Your hand, however, failed to make contact.

The tense air of the room only magnified as General Hux crossed the room towards where you and Kylo Ren stood. Your roommate and other coworkers had drifted a few steps away, no doubt fearful of what the Knight of Ren might do. The General observed you for a few moments before addressing Kylo Ren. He inquired as to how many drinks you had consumed, and whether or not you had taken your medication. The Knight of Ren answered only on the latter portion.

“(L/n),” General Hux said sternly.

“Yessir,” you slurred out, losing your balance and grasping backwards for the bar. You used this to keep from completely losing your footing. “I’m sorry, Sir. I wasn’t going to drink, but… But I’m _really_ untouched and…” You swallowed thickly, which is perhaps why the General seized an empty container and thrust it so that it caught your vomit. You gripped the sides of the container, dry-heaving for several moments.

As you fought another bout of nausea, you were led by your superior towards the bathroom. Kylo Ren cocked his head to the side as he watched General Hux hold your hair while you vomited into the toilet. “Don’t coddle her too much, daddy,” the Knight of Ren said, causing General Hux to fight off a snarl. “I find your soldiers lacking in self-discipline.”

You held tightly onto the porcelain as you gasped for air. Footsteps, the sound of them retreating, filtered into your ears. The General called to your roommate, who came immediately. He commanded her to care for you while a doctor was brought in.

This, you reflected with a grimace, was why you were fighting off a massive hangover while attached to an saline-drip IV. You rested your head against the pillow. The bed was placed into a position where you were seated at an angle. General Hux conversed with the nurse that was attending to you. You could tell from the stiff manner in which he was speaking that he was far from pleased. When the nurse left the room, his scrutiny was transferred to you.

“S-sir… I’m sorry.” Your throat was sore from the vomiting you had done. You raised a hand, rubbing at your neck. You could hear General Hux inhale through his nose then exhale. He said nothing. From how shitty you felt, you knew the mixture of alcohol and medication had had a very poor effect on your health. It may have saved your life to have your superiors monitoring you as they were.

“You should not have to be reminded, (L/n), that your actions reflect not only upon yourself, but on the entire First Order.” You clenched your jaw to keep it from trembling. Your throat felt thick and your eyes felt as though they were about to water. You fought off this reaction and stared directly ahead of yourself at the wall. “I expect you to report for work tomorrow.”

You held back a wince as your superior chose to leave the room after that line. You silently cursed yourself for having given into Livry’s suggestion for a drink. How could you have allowed yourself to consume the amount of alcohol that you had?

_I’m surprised Kylo Ren didn’t kill me right there. I can’t believe I had the nerve to call him a jerk-face. How could I have been so stupid?_

Wrapping your arms around your midsection, you pressed your head more tightly against the pillow. You turned your head to the side and stared out the port window. Stars. An endless sea that had you relaxing. Initially you had experienced motion sickness during your training, yet had learned to overcome the vertigo. Now traveling did nothing to your nerves. Aboard the Finalizer, you were at ease—well, normally. Currently you were berating yourself for the course of actions you had taken the previous night.

 _I would rather be a janitor at Starkiller Base than disappoint the General,_ you told yourself.

Footsteps entering your room. Not tentative like Livry’s. No hesitation, no pause. They halted only when a body lowered into the chair that was beside your bed. You remained staring out the window, however your breathing did alter. Your chest felt heavier. You swallowed down your self-pity and self-loathing then adjusted your vision so that you could watch the man’s reflection in the glass of the window. His black form nearly blended in with the darkness of space.

“You feel alone.”

You grit your teeth, your breath catching in your throat. Your chest tightened at the words, which were your thoughts voiced by Kylo Ren. Even amongst your comrades, you did find yourself feeling alone. Isolated. Everyone was trained to be loyal to the First Order. You were peons for Supreme Leader Snoke. A part of you did not object to this, and yet… You wanted some of your thoughts to be your own, and you always questioned whether or not this made you different from your coworkers. They not once appeared to be discomforted by commands, save for those that put them near the Knight of Ren.

“Most soldiers are taken from birth, yet you’re different.” His tone was level, yet you believed you could hear a trace of curiosity, of confusion therein. “One of those raised by…parents. Are you afraid you’ll disappoint them?”

You turned your head and regarded that cold mask in full. You pressed your lips together then ran your tongue over them prior to speaking. “I could only disappoint my parents by failing the First Order, Sir.” What was it about parentage and fathers that so drew his attention? “Have I disappointed you, Sir?”

“Greatly.” You bit back a wince at the coldness of that single word. Breathing through your nose to keep your bottom lip from quivering, you turned your head so that you could stare out the window again. Despite this, the man did not rise and exit the room. The Knight of Ren remained seated at your bedside for the better part of eight minutes. It was after this amount of time had elapsed that he stood. Rather than leave, however, he walked towards the portion of the room that so held your attention.

His back obscured your view of the glass surface. You momentarily wondered if the stars caught his interest as they did yours then forced such ponderings away. He was not wearing his hood, and the back of his helmet reflected a portion of the light from the room. You watched him for a long while. Even when the nurse entered the room to check your stats and IV, your eyes remained on the Knight.

The monster of a headache from your hangover had lessened as time went on. When lunch was brought into the room and set on a tray table that hovered above your lap, you stared at the food with a certain level of distaste. Kylo Ren had since taken the seat at your side once more. The nurse left the room, walking a little stiffer than usual since she was in Kylo Ren’s presence. Eggshells; tread with caution, your mind supplied. You picked up your spoon and nudged some of the chunks in the soup around in a circle.

_He won’t leave. Why won’t he leave? He makes me so nervous, I don’t know what to do._

You glanced towards your superior then back at the soup. For the past half hour you had been hearing boots hitting against the ground as people walked around in the hall outside of your room. This time those noises paused at your door, which was soon pressed inwards. Your grip on the spoon tightened as General Hux and Doctor Wiu entered the room. The latter was looking at your hospital file as he walked. Both paused upon noticing that you were not alone. General Hux could not tear his eyes away from the sight of Kylo Ren sitting at your bedside.

Doctor Wiu recovered from his surprise and lifted his gaze to you. He forced one of those reassuring smiles he had often used in your two sessions with him. “(Y/n), how are you feeling?”

 _My least favorite question,_ your mind snapped back. You relinquished your hold on the spoon, allowing it to slip further into the soup. “I’m…” _Very stupid. Embarrassed. Trying to remember everything I said when I was drunk last night. Wait… Did I tell Kylo and the General I needed to get laid?_ Your cheeks heated up as you recalled your interactions with them. You whipped your head to the side so that you were facing away from the three men. “…I don’t know.” Your voice was hushed, nearly a whisper.

The doctor closed the folder that contained your file and asked that both the General and Knight of Ren momentarily leave the room so that he could speak with you. General Hux did not oblige until after the other man had stood from his seat and exited. Your superior pulled the door closed behind himself after he exited. At this point, you covered your face with a single hand and turned your head so that you could stare at the ceiling through your fingers.

“Please be honest with me, (y/n),” Doctor Wiu said kindly.

“I feel… _really_ stupid right now.” He took a seat on the chair that Kylo Ren had previously occupied. Lowering your hand, you released a sigh and then moved your head so that you were facing him while you talked. “I really hadn’t meant to drink, but… One drink wouldn’t hurt, Livry said, and I thought… Why the hell not? I’ve never really lost all self-control and gotten so drunk like that. And then… And then I told both… I told both Lord Ren and the General that… Basically that I need to have sex. I don’t know why I did that.”

“Mm.” He tapped one of his thumbs against the file folder. Doctor Wiu considered you for a few seconds then dropped his gaze to the object that rested in his hands. “Have you ever thought of your superiors in a…” He hesitated, cleared his throat, and then continued. “…In a sexual setting?”

“No!” you shrieked, horrified. You jerked a little as you sat up more. The IV tugged, causing you to wince and readjust yourself once more. You shook your head and repeated your response, this time a little more calmly. “Never.”

“I see. I spoke to your roommate, Ethna Livry. She recalls that you referred to Lord Ren as…” He peeked in the file and then looked back at you. “You called him ‘jerk-face’, I understand.” You shrunk a little, drawing your legs closer towards your body and ducking your head. “You also mentioned to him that you were allowed to expression your feelings…due to my permission.”

“S-sorry.”

“For your safety, I suggest we keep the setting in which you can share freely with him to my office,” Doctor Wiu said as he patted one of your knees comfortingly. You nodded, wrapping your arms around your legs. “Also, you cannot consume alcohol while on the medication I prescribed. And… I see that the time you took it was within minutes of being given the prescription. You were to wait until that night to begin the regime. What influenced you to take the pill so quickly?”

“Uhm… Lord Ren handed me one of the pills.” He nodded, stating that he had suspected as much. You shook your head. “I don’t understand why he… I understand that he and General Hux have a…rivalry of sorts, however… The _only_ reason he seems interested in me is because I called the General ‘daddy’, and that doesn’t make much sense to me. What about daddy issues would intrigue him?”

“You told me you didn’t have any daddy issues, (y/n),” the psychologist said plainly. You clenched your jaw. “Hmm… You _were_ sexually active in the past, correct?”

“Yes,” you said whilst narrowing your eyes.

“You admitted that you have never referred to any of your partners as ‘daddy’, however… (Y/n), have any of your partners ever _requested_ that you call them ‘daddy’?” You bit down on the insides of your cheeks, which felt hot. You were blushing very deeply. “I see. Is that what ended your relationship with the individual?”

“I… Yes, I don’t… I’m not into that.”

Doctor Wiu nodded as he withdrew a pen from his pocket and started to write something in your file. You set your forehead against your knees and wished the day would end. Fate would not give into you, however, and the psychologist was soon speaking once more.

“Do you believe you are projecting the authoritative manner in which your previous partner behaved with the General?” You looked blankly at the doctor, who sighed and rephrased his inquiry. “Are you associating General Hux with the sexual partner that had requested you call him daddy?”

“I…I…” Your eyes were wide as saucers as you racked your brain. Were you? You didn’t think so, but how would you know? This man was a psychologist, so shouldn’t he know? Or was he trying to trick you into giving him the answer he wanted?

Your suspicion must have been apparent on your face, for the man stood. “We don’t have to address this now, (y/n). Please, relax.”

“But I don’t think of him sexually!” you blurted, grabbing for Doctor Wiu’s hand. “I was telling _everyone_ I needed to have sex when I was drunk! I… He…”

“Are you comfortable discussing this with me, (y/n)?” You bit your lip, paused for a moment of thought, and then slowly nodded. Doctor Wiu returned to his seat. “I understand that Kylo Ren has commented on the General as being ‘daddy’ when near you.” You nodded again, this time cautiously. “How do you feel when he does that?”

“Annoyed? I’m not… He’s teasing me, and I don’t want to look like a fool in front of the General, Sir.”

“Have you requested that he refrained from using the term?” You gave him a are-you-fucking-high look that brought a smile to his face. He half shrugged in a gesture of defeat. “When was the last time you had sex, (y/n)?”

“Uhm…more than seventeen months ago.” He nodded and asked if your last partner had been the individual that had requested being called daddy. You shrugged as you replied that this was so. 

“I see. With that being your last physical relationship, you may be subconsciously entertaining such ideas now. If you feel isolated, that could potentially deepen such yearnings. Yet last night you were socializing, so I am not convinced this is entirely the case.”

Doctor Wiu made yet another note on his file and, while doing so, asked if you masturbated. You gawked at him. Silence between the two of you until you shrugged and admitted, “Er…sometimes in the shower if no one else is there, yeah.”

“Okay.” Another note on your file. “You can refrain from answering this question if you feel uncomfortable, but I am going to ask it. What do you fantasize about when you are touching yourself?”

“Uh…” _How do I even answer that? Should I answer this? Fuck!_ “Just, like, a random hot guy having sex with me, I guess.”

“You guess?” A groan then a sigh from you. “Is this annoying you, (y/n).”

“Yes,” you shot irritably.

“Mmm. You are extra irritable today. I’ll inform the General that you should be given a few days off while you adjust to the medication. It’s a side effect that should adjust itself.” You rolled your eyes, making an annoyed sound in the back of your throat as you rested your head against the pillow. “We’ll speak more during your next appointment.”

He rose as he spoke, patted your knee once more and then headed for the door. You could hear him converse shortly with the General before fully taking his leave. The red-haired man entered the room and walked to your side. You could feel him inspecting you, and you found yourself naturally adjusting your position so that you were more in order. He suggested that you eat something, which had you picking up your spoon and taking a small bite of soup. You paused with the utensil in your mouth, the lukewarm liquid covering your tongue.

You did not want to disappoint this man. He was above you in rank, but you had served under others without feeling such a strong compulsion. You were undersexed. You did _not_ like to be dominated, and yet you had no qualms obeying everything General Hux asked of you. 

_He… The General **is** giving me daddy issues…_

Kylo Ren standing beside General Hux did not help matters either. You were eyeing the Knight of Ren with a narrowed, suspicious gaze. Paranoia wasn’t a side effect of the medication too, was it? Yet you could not help but be upset when he was around you, moreso when he had told you that you had disappointed him.

_Fuck… Kylo Ren is giving me daddy issues…_

You slouched in your seat, setting the spoon in the bowl of soup. Both men stood there expectantly, which prompted you to take another bite.

_No… No, I wasn’t having these thoughts until after Doctor Wiu. **He’s** giving me daddy issues!_

“You’re making her uncomfortable.” The General’s voice brought you back to the present. Kylo Ren assessed the man then turned back to you. You sat completely still, wishing that they would leave you out of their pissing contests because, damn it, you were _not_ having daddy issues because of them!


	4. Staying in the Lines

Staying in the Lines

Spending the day in bed and coloring pictures was not how you expected to spend _any_ portion of your time in the Finalizer. Color by number. A few crosswords, some word searches. On the third day, Doctor Wiu had you come into his office for your appointment. Once inside, rather than speak with you, he set down a sheet of paper and a box of crayons. You stared, very confused, when he instructed you to draw him a picture. It took you a few minutes to shift onto your knees on the floor. You reached for the box of crayons, opened them, and selected the gray.

You started to draw a square, which connected to a second. Slowly, you worked on drawing the computer station at which you worked. You subconsciously chewed on your bottom lip as you used the black crayon to draw a line of code on the picture computer’s screen. When you were finished, you put away all the crayons and returned to the couch. Doctor Wiu took the picture you had drawn from the table and placed it into your patient folder.

He then set before you a paper maze and pencil. You managed to navigate the maze quickly then proceeded to do some math problems Doctor Wiu presented. When this was done, he thanked you and put the sheets into a pile on his desk. “How is your irritability?”

“I think I’m fine now,” you said. It was not a lie. You were feeling less irritable overall, and also a little more relaxed. You were slightly antsy, however that was perhaps due to not having work to do. You felt a little stir-crazy, wanting to begin once more to do your daily tasks. You had not seen or heard from General Hux or Kylo Ren during the last few days either, which perhaps aided in your relaxed state. Which reminded you that the Knight of Ren would be joining you in a little while.

“You should be able to return to work at the start of next week.” Three days. Doctor Wiu grabbed himself a cup of tea and asked if you were thirsty. This time you accepted a bottle of water from the man. You twisted it open, took a sip, and then replaced the cap. “Are you comfortable with Lord Ren joining us for today’s session? We can postpone if you feel it will compromise your progress.”

“Uhm… I think I’ll be fine.”

“Very well. We still have close to fifteen minutes before he arrives. Is there anything you wish to discuss?” You shook your head and relaxed on the couch. With neither Kylo Ren nor General Hux present, it was easy for you to slouch. You placed the water bottle against your stomach and drummed lightly on it with your fingers. “Are you comfortable with more questions? Ah, that’s good. Now, you told me that you do not enjoy being dominated. I was hoping you could elaborate on that. In what capacity do you have this aversion?”

You shifted a little on the couch, drawing your legs up so that they were on the cushion, your feet towards the side. You took some time to think then spoke, your voice initially meek but then gaining confidence as you went on. “Well… I don’t mind… In the workplace, I have no qualms being in a submissive position, being a subordinate. When I’m socializing with my coworkers, though… I don’t want to be silenced or… In my past relationships, one or two of them failed because my partner treated me as though I had to obey his every command. Not just sexually, but when it came to even eating. Or dressing, anything.

“I work to serve the First Order, to do what is required of me by General Hux, Kylo Ren, any of my superior officers, and Supreme Leader Snoke. But… When it comes to anything else, I… I want to have a say.” You did not realize that you had started to squeeze your right hand with your left until Doctor Wiu asked you what was the matter. You ceased the action, allowed your lips to part, and then paused. You ran your tongue along the roof of your mouth and swallowed. Then, at last, you said quietly, “I really disappointed the General.”

A moment of silence passed between the two of you before the psychologist told you that he would be scheduling another appointment for you for the following day. You blinked twice, but did not argue or question the man. You wondered if he was worried whether or not you were depressed. The pharmacist, after all, had informed you that this was a possible side effect of the anti-anxiety medication. Doctor Wiu shifted over to his desk, where he turned on his computer and began typing. You assumed that he was informing the General of his decision, as was proper protocol.

By the time he was finished, the door to his office opened and Kylo Ren stepped inside. You glanced towards the Knight, who paused when Doctor Wiu once more requested that he place his lightsaber upon the desk. The Knight of Ren did so prior to obliging to Doctor Wiu’s hand gesture to take a seat on the couch. You had adjusted your posture, pressing yourself as close to the arm of the couch as was possible as Kylo Ren sat on the other cushion.

Doctor Wiu grabbed a piece of paper and the box of crayons. You furrowed your brow as he also pressed the small table closer to you and Kylo Ren. He placed the paper, which was revealed to be a coloring page, and two of the crayons from the box on the piece of furniture. Without batting an eyelash or cracking a smile, the psychologist asked that you and Kylo Ren color the page together.

“You want me…to color?” There was reproach emanating from the Knight of Ren, and you could not exactly blame him for his ire.

The psychologist, meanwhile, did not miss a beat. “With (y/n), yes. Please complete this task together. One of you may use the black crayon and the other the red.” He moved to the chair behind his desk and took a seat. You could hear him beginning to type at his computer while you and Kylo sat there. You glanced towards your superior with your eyes alone then at the crayons on the table. “Feel free to begin first, (y/n).” He had been watching you despite working at the computer. And now Kylo Ren was looking your way as well, as if challenging you to take one of the crayons before him.

You shifted uncomfortably on the couch then, with a hand that was visibly shaking, reached out and seized the red crayon. You moved a little closer to the edge of the couch, set your free hand on the table beside the coloring page, and then placed the tip of the crayon to the sheet. You felt more than a little awkward, starting to color the page. Your nerves would not calm. Swallowing hard, you clenched your teeth together and continued to move the crayon back and forth, up and down.

“You went outside the line.”

“Then help her, Lord Ren.”

 _Did he seriously just…?_ You were hardly over the fact that Kylo had commented on your coloring skills when his hand reached past you to seize the other crayon. The Knight of Ren placed his other hand firmly against the coloring page and began to pull it towards himself.

“Share, Lord Ren.” The black crayon snapped in two, and you found yourself retreating once more towards the armrest of the couch. “Would you like a new crayon, or can you make do with the broken one?”

 _Is he **trying** to piss off Kylo?_ You were flabbergasted, to say the least. Despite this, upon Doctor Wiu’s command, you again moved closer to the Knight of Ren and started to color. He used the top half of the black crayon he had broken to begin shading in a different portion of the picture. When you, out of nervousness, failed to remain in the lines again, your superior snatched the red crayon from you. Doctor Wiu sighed, however said nothing.

“U-uhm…” You looked from the coloring page to the doctor. He merely stared down at his keyboard then up at his computer screen. You were under the impression he wanted you to handle this matter, to see how you interacted with Kylo, who was using _your_ crayon to color the page. “S-sir, I—“

“You’re incompetent. I’ll handle it.”

You winced at his words then felt your cheeks heating up when Doctor Wiu chose that moment to chime in. “How does that make you feel, (y/n)?” Kylo Ren’s hand, which grasped the crayon, stilled. You could feel both men looking your way, and you felt your anxiety beginning to awaken. Your chest felt tight, you felt a little dizzy, and you wished you could disappear into nothingness. “Do you feel that Lord Ren should return your crayon to you?” Said object snapped into two under the pressure of the man’s thumb, which had been pushed against it.

You frantically shook your head. “He can keep it! I’m… I’m incompetent!”

Doctor Wiu rose from his desk, crossed the room, and picked up the coloring page and two broken crayons. He set these objects away then sat at his desk. His gaze was on the Knight of Ren, who relaxed against the back of the couch. In the meanwhile, your hip was beginning to hurt with how tightly you pressed yourself to the armrest. Ever calm, the psychologist asked your superior if he enjoyed the way you were reacting to him, if he found himself—and here your eyes widened and your face paled— _aroused_ by such submissive qualities.

Your signal to panic was the lightsaber flying across the room into Kylo Ren’s outstretched hand. You winced as the weapon was activated. Held back screams of panic that caught in your throat as the red met with and marred the walls of the office. The corner table was split into four pieces, the wood charred. Doctor Wiu did not so much as sigh while the Knight of Ren had his tantrum. Only once the destruction ceased and the lightsaber was deactivated did the psychologist choose to speak again.

“How are you feeling now?” When Kylo Ren did not respond, when he instead looked at your trembling form, you realized that the question had been directed at you. You shook your head, not wanting to answer lest the Knight became enraged once more. Doctor Wiu turned to Kylo. “And you? Do you feel as though you’ve had a…release?”

The Knight of Ren’s fingers twitched. You became aware that he was resisting the urge to use the Force, to choke the psychologist. Not wanting to be caught in the crossfire if Kylo did lose control, you glanced towards the clock and announced that the session was over. Before either man could respond, you flung yourself over the arm of the couch and raced out the door. You were practically running down the hallway, garnering much attention from coworkers. Some spared sympathetic looks, and you knew that the sounds of Kylo’s tantrum had carried down at least a few hallways.

Halfway to your workstation, you had to remind yourself that you were still off-duty. You ducked into a lavatory and wrapped your arms around yourself. Squeezing your eyes closed, you attempted to calm your nerves. Had Doctor Wiu been purposely trying to irritate the Knight? Or had he been more interested in _your_ reactions to sexual questions being posed to your superior? Either way, you wished he had not done so. You could not continue to do this.

Brushing aside a few tears, you allowed yourself a few minutes longer to get yourself in order. You would give yourself the rest of the day to calm your nerves. Then, you promised yourself, tomorrow during your appointment you would inform Doctor Wiu that you could not longer assist in the plan to trick Kylo Ren into any form of anger management.

_**The Following Day; Office of Doctor Wiu** _

You had not expected to find anyone other than Doctor Wiu when you had entered. The table had been removed, and precautionary measures had been taken to ensure that no one touched the damaged wall. The line of tape did not hold your attention for any length of time, given the fact that General Hux stood beside the psychologist’s desk. He was formal as ever, his blue eyes sweeping over to you as the door to the office closed. As was becoming customary, you moved to your spot on the couch.

When asked to do so, the General took a seat on your right. You narrowed your eyes in suspicion when Doctor Wiu grabbed out a sheet of paper and a box of crayons. He set the coloring page in front of you and General Hux as well as two crayons, this time a navy blue and silver-gray. Like with Kylo Ren, Doctor Wiu asked if the two of you would please color the sheet together. He took a seat at his desk then began typing on his computer.

You shyly brushed back some of your hair, fixing it to ensure it was properly held in place by the hairpiece you wore. General Hux lifted the blue crayon, which prompted you to grab the gray from the table. He did not begin coloring. You took a few seconds to realize that he was waiting for you to begin. Feeling a little short on air, you scooted closer to the General so that the pair of you had equal access to the coloring page. You then leaned forward and began to fill in a portion of the picture. General Hux soon did likewise, moving his crayon in almost circular motions on the page.

The two of you worked quietly together to color the sheet. The task was roughly halfway complete when Doctor Wiu decided to address you with a question. “(Y/n), how do you feel when you believe an action of yours has disappointed the General?”

Your breath caught in your throat and General Hux’s hand stilled on the page. You nervously withdrew your own coloring utensil from the page. Glancing up at the doctor, you attempted to mask your betrayed expression. He offered you a sympathetic smile as he once more asked the question.

“I… I get…very… Uhm. Very disappointed in myself.” Your voice was hardly above a whisper. Your gaze was trained on the floor, and you found yourself edging away from the man that was seated beside you. You had been planning on telling Doctor Wiu that you no longer wished to have sessions with him, yet the General’s presence made you abstain. You could not explain why it was you wished to do nothing to disappoint him.

“Please continue to color, you two,” Doctor Wiu said as he turned to his computer. The sounds of keys clicking returned. You reluctantly began to do as asked, and General Hux soon joined you. “General, could you hold (y/n) while you color?” Both yours and General Hux’s head snapped up, the pair of you looking at the psychologist as though he was the one who needed therapy. “Humor me, please. This is pivotal for my taking care of (y/n)’s needs. Of discovering the reasoning behind… We’ll call it the ‘Daddy Incident’.”

General Hux cleared his throat, adjusting the crayon that was in one hand as he reached for your limb with the other. You felt a blush rise as his hand wrapped around yours. You awkwardly held onto his hand as you used your left to color. He had a firm grip, you noted as you tilted your hand at an angle so that you did not go out of the lines. Nothing that hurt, however. It was…masculine, comfortable.

“Do you wish to continue your sessions with Lord Ren?” It caught you off-guard that the General addressed the issue that had been weighing on your mind. He no doubt felt the way your fingers twitched, could possibly feel your pulse quicken. “We could temporarily postpone having him join you until you make a final decision.”

“Uhm… That… That would be…nice, Sir.” Doctor Wiu commented that he would inform the Knight of Ren of the change in plans via email. General Hux readjusted his hold on your hand, drawing your eyes to the connected limbs. “I’m… I’m s-sorry, Sir… About… When I drank like that, I… I did not mean to do anything to compromise the image of the First Order.” He grunted in response, finished shading the section he had been working on, and finally set aside his crayon. You soon followed suit, having completed the final portion of the picture.

Doctor Wiu crossed the room to retrieve the coloring page and two crayons. As he put away these items, he looked towards your superior. “General, could I have you step outside of the room for…say, roughly five minutes.” General Hux relinquished his hold on your hand, stood and adjusted his uniform, and strode out of the office. Doctor Wiu nudged aside the table, placing his stool closer to you so that his voice would not carry out of the room as he spoke. You placed the hand that had been in General Hux’s grasp into your lap, cradling your wrist with your other hand. “Now, please bear in mind that this does _not_ necessarily hold any sexual significance. It has no bearing on your tastes in more…intimate settings.”

He waited until you nodded and muttered out a soft, “Okay.”

“With the General… How you have described him to me, your reactions with him… When he held your hand, you momentarily tensed, however then relaxed. There was no openly sexual response in any of your reactions. When he offered you a suggestion that would ease any worry of you displeasing you, you readily accepted. A little afterwards, you apologized for an incident that has been heavily weighing on your mind due to the fact that you are aware it displeased him. You were seeking his approval. In this case, your superior is an older male figure whom you have admitted to _needing_ to please.”

“You’re… Are you saying….that… I _do_ have daddy issues?”

“To give it a name, yes. You have daddy issues when it comes to the General, though the reasoning behind this is a mystery to me. You say that your relationship with your father is not strained, so I do not believe it stems from your family life. We can place a hold on your interactions with Kylo Ren, however… Are you opposed to my requesting that the General join in on a few of our sessions?”

“Uhm… Th-that…should be fine, I guess.” You tensed when he stood and moved towards the door. “You aren’t… You aren’t going to tell him….that I have daddy issues with him, are you?”

“Only if I begin to suspect that it will interfere with your work or health in a way that cannot be managed. Then I will have to inform him so that he can request you to be transferred to a different duty station. Right now, you can be at ease.” You nodded, taking a deep breath as Doctor Wiu opened the door and requested that General Hux rejoin the pair of you. “If you would not mind taking a seat beside (y/n) once more, we can continue this session.”

General Hux sat beside you while Doctor Wiu returned to his stool. The psychologist asked your superior if he would scoot closer to you. You stiffened as the man obliged. The General listened as the doctor informed him that he would appreciate it if he would join you in a few of your sessions. You kept your gaze on the ground as you listened to your superior agree to this. Together they arranged for which appointments General Hux would take part in before the red-haired man left the office. You hardly felt yourself relax.

“(Y/n), how are you feeling?” You shook your head, uttering that you did not know. “You _are_ aware that the General is a strong disciplinarian and frowns upon individualism.” You nodded this time, aware that many of your superiors in the First Order held this view. Which was why Stormtroopers did not have names. “When you called the General ‘daddy’ you stood out.” You bit your bottom lip and tensed. “I am not going to lie to you. I would have expected you to be punished or transferred. He, on the other hand, is using you as a means to attack Lord Ren because, as you have admitted, there exists a rivalry between them.”

“Uhm… What are you saying?”

“I am saying that if you feel you are disappointing General Hux in any capacity, I would… I would strongly suggest that you come see before taking any actions. You’re his pawn right now, so willing to do anything to please him. This devotion goes beyond that of what most soldiers feel, and I am under the impression that this has been brought to Lord Ren’s attention…which is why you intrigue him.”

“Are you… Are you saying that… that Kylo Ren is…jealous because of… He’s jealous of how I devoted I am to General Hux?”

“I believe this to be the case, yes. I am bringing this up solely because you have agreed with General Hux’s suggestion that Kylo Ren be temporarily removed from your sessions…while at the same time we are including the General.”

“You don’t think… that he’ll approach me, will he?” The way Doctor Wiu hesitated gave you answer enough. “I… Maybe this is a bad idea. I shouldn’t… I should just ask to be transferred.”

“The General will be disappointed.” You felt deflated then covered your face in both hands upon realizing that Doctor Wiu’s assessment of your behavior was correct. “Keep a safe distance from Lord Ren and don’t say anything to set him off. You should be fine. Business as usual with him.”

 _Hardly comforting,_ you growled in your mind.


	5. Suffocation

Suffocation

Due to Doctor Wiu’s warning, you had fully expected to be approached by Kylo Ren. What you had _not_ expected, however, was for him to come into your room in the middle of the night. For one of your roommates to practically shriek upon realizing that someone was in the room with the four of you. You, along with the other three females in the room, turned over to see what had startled Adder. You tensed, and imagined that Livry and Haddison. Kylo Ren continued to sit on the small cabinet that was set against the wall between the two bunks. Though it was nearly pitch black in the room, you could feel his gaze upon you.

You tugged the blanket further up your body, over your shoulders. What a time for you to have chosen to wear only an undershirt and panties to bed. You could hear all of your roommates likewise drawing their covers closer, moving in retreat towards the closest wall. With one hand holding the blanket over you, you reached over the bed with your other arm and seized a pair of pants you had nearby. You slipped the clothing underneath the blanket, bucked your hips off the mattress, and pulled on your pants. You slipped out form underneath the covers, saying nothing as Kylo Ren stood and waited for you to finish putting on your uniform shirt, some socks and boots.

You followed your superior out of the room as you did your hair, hoping that it was tied back correctly. The door to your room closed behind you and the Knight paused only a few paces away. You stood there, watching his back and attempting to assess his mood. Rather than speak, however, the man headed left down the hall. His pace was not as fast as it normally was. He was going slower, and you knew this was for your benefit. To let you know that he wanted you to follow him. Kylo Ren did not say or do things lightly.

It dawned on you, the closer you arrived, to where you were being led. To the room in which you worked. It would be empty at this time of night. That was the exact state in which you found it when the pair of you arrived. Your superior walked to the chair that was two feet from the one you normally occupied and there sat. His arms were resting on his legs and he was leaning forward, his back not touching the rear of the chair. You shuffled forward, climbing onto your chair.

“This is your favorite place on the ship.” You entwined the fingers of your hands, pressing your palms against one another. “You find…solace here, and yet you hate that you are alone.”

Your eyes searched the contours of that cold helmet. The darkness threatened to swallow you as you came to the realization that your thoughts were not your own. Aware of this, you became conscious of a light tingling. Whenever the Knight was near you recently, you had felt as though you were suffocating… Not only from nerves, it seemed, but from him invading your mind.

“Do you enjoy being hurt, (y/n)?” His deep voice was magnified by his helmet to an almost robotic depth. You knew that the mask did not distort his voice much, however could not help but wonder if, without amplification, it would pierce so deeply.

When you did not answer him, he raised his head so that he was peering at you. Kylo lifted a hand, and you felt the muscles in your throat clench. Though you could breathe, it was with a strained effort. Your chest rose and fell heavily as he applied more pressure. You squeezed your eyes closed, whimpering when you managed to get enough air in your lungs to do so. The pressure then dissipated, and you grabbed at your throat with both hands.

You said nothing in protest to his treatment of you. He was in control of his emotions, of how much he hurt you. Why this comforted you, you were not certain. You felt little fear towards the man across from you, somehow aware that he currently held no intentions to kill you.

Kylo did not lower his hand, and within a few moments you were again feeling the muscles in your throat constrict. You gasped for air, clutching at your neck more tightly as a wave of dizziness caused you to sway in your seat. The pressure on your throat migrated to your chest. It felt as though someone was applying a generous amount of weight there. Though you could breathe easier than when the Force was working against your throat, you still found difficulty in the effort. The Knight of Ren twisted his wrist a fraction of an inch. You felt the pressure intensify, tighten even.

“Ah!” Your hands flew to the armrests of the chair, squeezing so tightly that your knuckles turned white. The pressure once more receded. You panted, beads of sweat wetting your forehead. Your grip on the chair relaxed and you leaned against the back of it. Blinking your eyes, you attempted to clear your vision, which had blurred around the edges.

“Do you still feel safe here?” You rested the back of your left hand against your forehead. A weak nod that had you wincing, your throat and chest still sore. Kylo lowered his hand at last, resting his wrist on his knee so that his hand dangled in the air. He considered you for some time in the silence of the room as you recovered from his treatment. “You view yourself as superior to your coworkers yet feel guilty for such sentiments.” He lifted his head, and you dropped your gaze from his mask. “General Hux would frown upon how you perceive yourself.”

Your bottom lip quivered. It felt as though your heart fluttered then was squeezed. This man was so exceptional at hurting you, and yet all he had done was speak the truth. You set your foot against the ground, pressing down so that your chair swiveled and turned from the Knight. The quiet that settled between the pair of you was not uncomfortable. In a way, you were feeling foolish for having feared to have interactions with Kylo. His footsteps did not change your sentiments. Him seizing the back of the chair and turning you back around merely caused your eyelids to flutter.

You had heard of a soldier who had been Force choked by Kylo Ren. That man had also spoken of being brought to the Knight by that same power, of that hand beginning to squeeze him. The limb pressing tight against you did not arouse any fear. All you felt was that difficulty in breathing that you were becoming more and more familiar with. It was more intense than when he had not had any physical contact with you.

He pressed you against the back of the chair, the curve of his hand fitting snugly against your throat. It hurt yet felt…relieving. You were alive if you were able to hurt. The pain was yours alone, and no one could take it away—save for the man who withdrew his limb.

“Daddy wouldn’t be happy if he knew what you were allowing me to do,” he said as you gulped down air. He used the phrase because he knew how you truly felt. Knew and teased both you and General Hux with the term. Teased the General, who was oblivious to how deep your yearning truly was. Teased you due to the fact that it drew you from the General towards himself.

He wanted the General to be unhappy, which was why he seized your throat once more. It would bruise under his ministrations, and you would not be able to cover it without disregarding regulations. Without drawing attention to yourself, which would prompt the General calling you to see him to remedy your uniform malfunction. And then he would see. Kylo massaged the flesh of your neck with his fingers, rolling the tips so that they rotated deeper and deeper against you. You tilted your head back, silently struggling for air yet making no move to remedy your position.

Only when he was certain that the bruise would be to his liking did Kylo remove his hand. It hovered near you for half a minute longer while you regulated your breathing. Then he dropped his arm to his side and walked from the room. You swallowed then winced at the pain. You had to use both hands to push yourself off the chair. Your vision would not return to normal. Not allowing this to stop you, you moved along the wall for a while as you made your way back to your room.

All three of your roommates, hyperaware after they had been awakened by Kylo Ren’s presence, jumped at your entrance. They asked if you were okay, what happened. You rasped out that you were fine, stripped, and climbed into bed. Your body still recovering from being repeatedly deprived of oxygen, you quickly lost consciousness.

In the morning, you could hear the whispers as you showered. Could feel the eyes on you, on your throat. Word spread from your roommates’ mouths that Kylo Ren had visited the previous night. They _knew_ where the bruises had come from. You rolled your eyes, wringing out your sponge then rinsing off. You seized a towel, dried off, and dressed. It would not take long for word to reach the General. For him to either call on you or approach you to see for himself. He was not going to be pleased.

He would be irritated by Kylo Ren’s actions. And yet, as the Knight had stated, if General Hux became aware that you had _allowed_ and _wished_ for it, it would be you who would be the disappointment.

Whispers and stares the entire morning. They stopped only when you were in the confines of your workstation, alone where you had obtained the bruises in the first place. You pressed your fingertips to the sensitive flesh, using your other hand to open the file that held your daily tasks. Your fingers found the keyboard and you began to press on the keys. Clicking. It filled your head, distracted you momentarily from the ache in your neck.

Booted footsteps, presumably two pairs of feet, is what forced the awareness of your pain to return. You sighed, your eyelids descending then lifting as the door opened and closed. You failed to turn around. Kept pressing your fingers to the keys. Typing, typing, ignoring the presence of the General and Knight. A hand seized the back of your chair, and you instantly knew that it was not Kylo Ren grabbed hold. It was too forceful, too angry. You were whipped around, your fingers hitting a few extra keys before you seized the arm of the chair to keep from being thrown from it.

Those blue eyes were like ice, freezing you in place. You felt more suffocated than when Kylo had been choking you. General Hux seized your chin and yanked upwards so that the bruise was fully exposed. His touch was anything but light. Perhaps more cruel than Kylo Ren’s had been.

“You’ve outdone yourself, Ren,” he said coolly. His hand left you as he turned in a swift, graceful move. Facing that mask, General Hux lifted his chin with an air of superiority. “She’s off-limits to you.”

“Is she?” An acceptance of that challenge. Without hesitation, Kylo Ren maneuvered past the General and stood before you. His hand met the flesh of your neck, perfectly flush with the marking he had left.

You felt the air escape you as you were flung backwards, General Hux having roughly pushed your chair so that it rolled in retreat from the Knight. When the red-haired man did not back down, Kylo Ren relaxed his stance. He did not seem angered nor surprised. He had expected this, you knew, judging from his words the previous night. Thus you were not taken aback when he calmly left the room, leaving you alone with the General.

He returned his attention to you now that Kylo Ren had left. You sat completely still. The man closed the distance between the two of you. His gaze was on your neck, on the bruise. His eyes said it all. The anger that Kylo had found a way to best him. If he knew you had wanted it, he would be so disappointed. And yet, you told yourself whilst inwardly wincing, if he discovered it for himself—that you had _wanted_ Kylo to choke you and then had _neglected_ to tell him yourself—his disapproval would be all the worse.

Your lips began to move, and you were speaking before your brain registered what you were doing. “I wanted it.” Your voice a rasp of what it normally was, your throat still suffering from the abuse that had been dealt it.

A disgusted snarl crossed the man’s features. Kylo’s words filtered through your head. _Daddy wouldn’t be happy if he knew what you were allowing me to do._ Normally the General did not get his hands dirty. He was in a position to command others to do tasks for him. Yet it was his hand that seized your upper arm, that yanked you from your chair and whipped you into the console. You grit your teeth as your back slammed into the metal. Biting back a hiss of pain, you felt a trickle of surprise when he stepped towards you. There were only inches between his body and yours, no distance between his hand and your throat.

He squeezed tightly, his limb directly over where Kylo Ren had touched you. General Hux pressed down harder. You gasped, your vision blurring around the edges. Which did not explain why you felt such _heat_ rolling through your lower anatomy. Such _need_. Your toes curled in both pain and pleasure as the General bared his teeth. He was speaking to you, verbally reprimanding you. You wanted to cry because you had failed him, however that was not the reason your eyes were watering. The lack of oxygen, the arousal you derived from the sensation of being choked, did that to you.

General Hux ripped his hand away from you and marched out of the room. You were left panting, wanting him. “Ah…fuck…fuck…” Your voice a hoarse whisper. Your hands gripping the edges of the console at which you worked. His rage had been so… _carnal_ in a way that it had elicited a sexual response. You covered your mouth with your hand, gagging around a sob that felt as though it was shredding your abused throat.

You knew exactly why you were crying, why you could no longer support the weight of your own body and so collapsed to your knees on the floor. Doctor Wiu had already told you that if you became a danger to yourself or others, he would have to report things to the General. The General was already well aware that you were seeking bodily harm in the form of Kylo Ren. Yet the doctor would reveal more when they spoke—and you _knew_ they would speak. You would either be transferred to a new duty station or else discharged. As this realization broke over you in a wave, your arousal quickly faded.

_**Hours Later** _

You moved robotically through your tasks of the day, leaving your workstation solely for the purpose of relieving your bladder. You neglected to visit the cafeteria for lunch or dinner. Isolated yourself as much as possible until Doctor Wiu entered your workstation. He silently sat down in the chair that Kylo Ren had occupied the previous night. Did not press for conversation. Your fingers flew against the keys. You were already into the next day’s tasks but did not want to stop, and so you didn’t.

On the few occasions when your fingers paused on the keyboard, you could hear Doctor Wiu’s pen scrawling across his page. He was watching you still, continuing to act as your psychologist despite the fact that you knew you would not be aboard the Finalizer for much longer.

“I thought of him sexually,” you said after a time. Doctor Wiu hummed then questioned which man you were referring to. “The General. While he was choking me, I was aroused.”

“Asphyxiation does increase arousal,” he commented. You could hear him writing yet again. A new note in your file. You wondered what doctor would read of your encounter with General Hux. “I have requested that you aren’t transferred, and General Hux has informed me that he will take my opinion under consideration.” Your fingers stilled. The single question of _why_ lingered on your tongue. “I understand that Kylo Ren approached you…in your room.”

“He’s been in my head.” Your fingers once more typing away. It was easier to breathe when you were distracted by your tasks. “I wasn’t… I wasn’t scared at all when he was choking me. I knew he wouldn’t kill me. He was so…calm.”

“He was…calm when he was choking you?” Though he tried to hide it, you could hear the surprise in his voice. You hummed in affirmation. “My understanding here is that you are fixating on the General, which has Kylo Ren interested in you, and that, in turn, has drawn General Hux’s attention.”

“It…seems that way… Yeah… That sounds right, I guess.” Doctor Wiu rose from his seat, placed a hand on your shoulder, and held onto you for three seconds before moving to leave. You placed your hands in your lap. “You’re reconsidering keeping me here, aren’t you?”

“You are my patient, (y/n), and it is my obligation to ensure your safety.”

You snorted, shaking your head and allowing a sardonic smile to play on your lips. “Hopefully he doesn’t cut through the life support when he’s slicing through the ship with his lightsaber.” Doctor Wiu chuckled despite himself. “If I don’t let him choke me, can I stay?”

“It’s more than just the choking, (y/n).” You set your elbows atop the console and held your head in your hands. Your fingers weaved their way through your hair. Behind you, Doctor Wiu sighed heavily. “I will see what the General’s final decision is and go from there. As I said before, if I feel as though your decisions make you a danger to—“

“I understand.” Once more typing, trying to keep busy to keep from feeling so suffocated.

When it was time for you to log out of the system, Doctor Wiu returned. You followed him without question to his office. The couch on which you sat during your sessions had been supplied a pillow and blanket. You stared at these objects for several seconds during which time Doctor Wiu adjusted the cot on which he would be sleeping. You unbuttoned the shirt of your uniform, took off your boots and socks, then sat on the edge of the couch. The psychologist handed you a pair of sweatpants and a shirt. He left his office long enough for you to change then returned. You rolled onto your side, staring at the back of the couch while Doctor Wiu laid upon the cot.

You understood why you were being placed on suicide watch, yet did not think it necessary. The quiet of the room unsettled you more than anything. Your mind turned over thoughts of what Livry, Adder and Haddison would be saying in regards to your absence. Or had they been told?

The next thing you were consciously aware of was a deep sobbing. A voice saying, “Shh, shh,” consolingly. You did not understand where the crying was coming from until Doctor Wiu’s hand was on your arm. Rubbing up and down in an attempt to relax you. When you had fallen asleep, you were uncertain. You choked on a sob, gasping for air and never seeming to get enough. Your bruised throat protested your actions, at the same time causing them to worsen.

Whispered voices. Doctor Wiu speaking to someone, mentioning that he needed to adjust the dose of your medication. All the while he continued to rub your arm. Now conscious that you were the one crying, you raised a hand to your face, which was wet with tears. Your bottom lip quivered.

“You believe that is what has led to her recent behavior?” General Hux was present. You pressed yourself closer to the back of the couch, turning your head so that your sobs were muffled by your pillow.

Doctor Wiu sighed. “In a patient, it can cause increased depression and destructive tendencies if either the dose is wrong or a different medication is necessary. It would be ill-advised to transfer her.” Making circles with his thumb.

All you could think was: you were disappointing the General yet again. You felt so…alone, as Kylo had voiced days before.

The hand abandoned you, and the couch shifted as it was no longer weighed down by Doctor Wiu’s body. You could hear the light hisses and puffs of air as the man whispered to your superior. You tugged the pillow tighter to your face. An irritated sigh. A hand on your shoulder, attempting to turn you. You pulled from the grip, curling your knees towards your chest and balling up. Your name coming from the General’s lips caused you to flinch. Then turn, your tear-streaked countenance in full view of his scrutiny.

He swept his eyes over you, your face, lingering on your throat, and when your eyes met he did not look away. He held your gaze and waited until you were no longer sobbing so deeply. Your chest still heaved and shuddered as you slowly but surely relaxed. “There.” Neither satisfied nor dissatisfied. His tone left you confused. You swallowed thickly, your teeth chattering noisily together.

“General, I…” Doctor Wiu paused, noticeably hesitating when General Hux turned at his torso and stared at the psychologist. Clearing his throat, the doctor timidly pressed, “It is… _irregular_ , but…if you could stay the night…”

“It is _indecent_ ,” General Hux interjected with a hiss. Doctor Wiu held out his hands helplessly whilst apologizing. Your superior stiffly kicked off his boots. You felt yourself moving in retreat, your heart racing and eyes widening as he lifted the blanket under which you were bundled. His body slipped onto the couch next to yours, his hip touching your hip. You tensed when he maneuvered you so that you were halfway on top of him. “See to it that you adjust her medication _properly_. I will _not_ tolerate my soldiers needing to be coddled.”

You flinched at his harsh tone and displeasure. Doctor Wiu responded to the General then switched off the light in the room. You could hear him once more climbing onto his cot. Your body was tense against his then you could not stop trembling. The moment you felt his hot breath on your face, you knew he was watching you in the darkness. “Relax.” Stern, disapproving.

You bit down on your bottom lip to hold back any more noises. His breath was still on your lips, and you swallowed hard. The doctor fell asleep before either of you. Only when the psychologist began to snore did the breath on your lips shift. It was on your cheek then eyes then once more at your mouth. He was looking at you in the darkness, watching you as best he could. His left hand met your throat, his touch more gentle than previous. You bit down on the insides of your cheeks in an attempt to erase the arousal that flared at the contact.

“ _My_ orders are the ones you obey.” You shuddered at his words, at the authority behind which they were spoken despite being whispered. 

“Y-yes, Sir,” you managed to whisper in return. He was touching where Kylo Ren had bruised your flesh.

His breath was at your ear when he shifted on the couch so that you were against the cushion and he was above you. “Whom do you serve?”

“Y-you.” Tears gathering once more in the corners of your eyes. The hand at your throat tensing then relaxing. “You, Sir.”

“And who left this mark on you?” he hissed, and you attempted to withdraw from him in shame. “Will this happen again, (L/n)?”

“N-no, Sir!” You almost screamed your answer, but managed to keep your voice at a whisper.

“Do you think I’m satisfied when _Ren_ is the one you are seeking to please?”

“No, Sir.” Tears were running down your face.

“Are you happy that you have his hand _imprinted_ on your neck for the _galaxy_ to see?”

“N-n-no, S-s-si-sir.” The hand on your throat lowered to your shoulder and you felt his breath on your neck. “Nnn…I…”

“Quiet.” Displeased. Commanding. Your chest rose and fell heavily with your breaths. Doctor Wiu’s snores filtered through the room. They were joined by a gasp from you when a pair of lips met your bruised flesh. “Do I need to repeat my order?”

You frantically shook your head. It dawned on you why General Hux had chosen the term _indecent_ to describe staying with you. Because he _knew_ , without Doctor Wiu telling him, how deep your feelings for him ran. Knew because Kylo Ren was aware of those feelings and was succeeding in stealing them.

You could feel his cold smile against your flesh as he started to suckle against the areas where you were bruised. His teeth nipped at the skin, and you squirmed underneath him. A hand settled between your legs, which spread readily for him. You rocked against his touch, bringing a hand to your mouth to help you swallow your moans. You panted underneath him as he bit down on your throat, drawing a portion of your flesh into his mouth and running his tongue along it. Curled your toes when his hand dipped under the waistband of your sweatpants and underwear. His fingers slipped between your folds, and you inhaled sharply.

Hot breath against your neck then his tongue swiping along you as his fingers met your wet entrance. He asked you again, “Whom do you serve?” As he thrust a finger up into you, you lifted your hand partway off your mouth so that you could whimper out the same answer. If you awakened the doctor, he told you, he would be displeased. You squeezed your eyes closed, desperately seizing the pillow and pulling it over your face as his mouth attacked your neck. You knew why he was doing it. Kylo Ren would notice the difference in your bruising, would know that the General once more had you fixating on him. Loyal to him.

His thumb found your clitoris and rocked against it as he fucked you with two fingers. He inserted a third into you, and you bit down on the pillow as he dragged his teeth along your neck. You felt as though you could hardly breathe, as though you were suffocating yourself with the pillow. Sweat gathered on your entire body as your orgasm came quickly rushing over you. His fingers did not relent, continuing to rotate in and out of you, curling and uncurling so that you desperately rode those digits.

When he withdrew from the depths of your body, he tugged your pants and underwear halfway down your legs. You imagined that your knuckles were white as they continued to grip the pillow. Metal from a belt being unbuckled. A snore from your psychologist, who would no doubt have frowned upon you giving into such unhealthy urges as being emotionally oppressed by the man above you. The man you craved would give you his approval. The man who was aroused by the thought that by fucking you he would be claiming a victory over Kylo Ren. And you just didn’t want to disappoint him.

You panted as your superior withdrew himself from his trousers and then seized your legs, tugging your body closer to his. You obediently wrapped your legs around his waist when he set your limbs against his hips. Swallowed down a scream of intense pleasure as he bucked up into you, thrusting his cock inside of you. His hips pounded into yours, his uniform pants quieting some of the sounds of his flesh smacking into yours. You felt his cock stretching you, rubbing against your inner walls.

He shifted, dragging you along with him. You gulped as he tore the pillow away from your face, his mouth greedily claiming yours. With his tongue down your throat, you found your body, starved for such attention for so long, responding once more to his touches, growing wetter around him. Genearl Hux stood, his hands gripping your thighs and tugging your body closer, closer as he bucked his hips into yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck and ran your tongue along his.

When his mouth abandoned yours, you reached with your right hand to your mouth, your arm still around his neck. His breath hit your ear, and for a moment that light puff, the frantic movements of your bodies, and the sounds of Doctor Wiu snoring were all you could hear. Then: “So _indecent_ , (y/n).” Which had your nipples hardening as you felt him cumming inside of you. Had you moving your mouth onto his to keep from awakening the doctor as you were brought to climax for a second time. He did not withdraw from you, his body continuing to rock against yours as he rode out his orgasm. “Whom do you serve?” one last time in a harsh whisper.

Shuddering, your toes curled as your legs were locked around his waist, you whispered, breathlessly, “You, Sir.” That cruel smile once more on your throat, which you knew would enrage Kylo Ren with its new bruises. You felt as though you were suffocating—why were you loving every minute of it?


	6. Different

Different

In the morning, Doctor Wiu’s fingers ghosted over your bruised flesh, which had darkened considerably over the course of the night. The General had smoothed out his uniform, put on his boots, and left to shower and change for the day. You were permitted to use a more private shower, clothing having been brought for you by one of your roommates after Doctor Wiu ordered it to be done. Your body ached deliciously from your activities the previous night. Your throat was more tender to the touch, to the lightest pressure of your uniform collar brushing against it.

Once more were eyes on you as you walked down the halls, sat in the cafeteria for breakfast. It was agonizing to swallow down your food. The skin on your neck was overly sensitive. You reached for your glass of water, slowly allowing the liquid to pour down your throat. It did not take long for the whispers to reach your ears, for you to become aware that your comrades knew what those darker marks were, that they were at last seeing the imprints of teeth.

You were able to hear them speculating who it was that had left those marks on you. The air around you was tense. Everyone no doubt realized that Kylo Ren had not been the one to mark you this time. They realized it when the Knight entered the room and his head whipped towards you when their words reached his ears. Your chest felt constricted when you heard his boots moving in retreat. You forced yourself to finish your breakfast, even as more whispers arose.

After your meal was complete, you mimicked your coworkers and left the cafeteria in favor of heading to your workstation. It hardly surprised you that Kylo Ren was seated on the second chair in the room. You lowered yourself onto your seat. For once, you did not reach for your task folder. The Knight of Ren had stood the moment you had sat. You could feel that choking sensation of him invading your mind. His fingers on your throat, on the largest hickey left to you by the General.

Your mind ran over the way the General had handled you, all of his words and yours as well. You knew that Kylo Ren could see and hear those thoughts. He tilted his head to the side as he peered into the depths of your mind. You were allowing him to invade, you recalled, and that would displease General Hux. You recoiled, wincing as the Knight took a step backwards and withdrew from your head.

“Are you comfortable?” His fingers had fallen away from your flesh. You gripped the arms of your chair, eyeing the man worriedly. He sounded calm, and yet… You could tell by the way he started to pace the slightest bit to the right then left. Knew when he tilted his head back a fraction of an inch and that modulator-influenced voice filtered into your ears. “This is your favorite part of the ship, I recall.”

Your nails bit into the material of the chair as Kylo Ren gripped his lightsaber, which buzzed to life. You felt more choked than ever as in a fluid move he turned and administered the first cut into your console. A downwards slash. Diagonal. A sideways hit with both his fist and one of the smaller blades. He was punishing you for your loyalty to the General. Though you bit back your whimpers and yelps of fear, your mind screamed for the man to stop. A long slash through the entirety of your computer screen. You observed in pure horror Kylo Ren completely destroying the one place you had always felt safe on the Finalizer.

The red of the lightsaber disappeared, the weapon soon replaced to its proper position on his person. Again did the Knight pace. His hands were on either side of his helmet. You could hear him breathing, which was unusual. During any of his other tantrums, you had been unable to hear him as you could in that moment. A click, him lifting the metal off his head and then, in a single, powerful move, throwing it across the room so that it assaulted the one remaining computer at your workstation. Sparks flew, electricity buzzing and shrieking as exposed wires flared.

Having never seen him unmasked before, the sight of the back of his head, those dark colored locks, caused you to lower your gaze. You stared at his feet even as he turned and approached you. A force— _the_ Force—snapped your head back so that you were forced to peer into his face as he coldly stared down at you. His lips were pressed tightly together. You had expected a snarl, and yet one did not exist. Those brown eyes wandered your face, his outstretched hand moving ever closer to your throat. He was younger than you had expected in terms of appearance.

“Did his touch tear you from your loneliness, (y/n)?” His voice, no longer altered by the modulator within the mask, was still deep. Dragging you in. A fine wine for your ears, which drank the sounds as he uttered each syllable.

Your lips trembled and quivered before at last you were able to admit. “N… No.” His fingers met the skin directly above the bruises and hickeys. “But, I… I was…happy.”

His lips parted and he looked…nearly defenseless. Your breath hitched as you watched his cold mask return, the façade repaired with an air of indifference. You waited for him to say something, anything. He did not say or do things lightly. Thus, when he turned his back to you and swept to the opposite side of room, when he replaced his helmet on his head and then left you without another word, you felt as though all air had been sucked from your lungs. Were you not worth words?

Fifteen minutes of you alone amongst the destruction before the cleanup crew headed in. They arrived only once there was a certainty that Kylo Ren would not return to wreak more havoc. That certainty arrived in the form of General Hux, who stood at the entrance to your workstation with his arms behind his back. You stared at your superior with wide eyes. Your safe haven aboard the ship had been destroyed. The General hardly appeared fazed. His eyes swept over to your face.

“Come.” Harsh. No one questioned the order, nor your response of yes, sir as you stood and moved to obey. General Hux filed out of the workstation, you quietly behind him. You were led to the General’s office. The door closed behind you. It was only then that he spoke again. “I assume Ren waited until you arrived.”

He had dropped all pretense of respect, failing to use the term Lord when speaking in front of you, to you. You answered him with a short response. General Hux faced you, withdrawing a hand from behind his back and cupping your chin between forefinger and thumb. You met his eye only when he commanded you to do so. When he asked if Kylo Ren had touched you anywhere, you tentatively placed your fingers to your throat. His breath was once more at your neck, his lips ghosting over your flesh. His teeth pressed against your skin, nipped and began to mark anywhere Kylo had deigned to touch.

His hand seized the top of your pants, tugging you closer. General Hux traced along the rim of your ear with the tip of his nose. You knew he was looking over every inch of you. That he was attempting to discern if you had neglected to reveal anything to him. “You were pleased to see him.” Not simply an accusation. A statement of fact. It dripped with his displeasure, his disgust. You squeezed your eyes closed, turning your head away in shame.

“Sir…” Breathless. “I… I’m sorry, Sir.”

The tips of three fingers against the lower portion of your jaw. You half-expected him to slap you. His thumb traced your bottom lip. It rotated in circles before he pressed the tip into your mouth. The pressure he exerted momentarily intensified as he forced you to meet his eye. He dragged his thumb downwards, pulling your bottom lip along with it for but a moment before it slipped away. You lifted your hand to his wrist when he started to withdraw completely from you. This time, he did slap you—for daring to seize hold of him, he smacked your hand so loud that the contact echoed in the room.

“Undress.”

You lifted both hands to the buttons on your shirt and fumbled with them. You went down the line, shrugged out of the top, and allowed it to fall to the ground. Your pants followed. Less sure, your eyes darted to your superior, who stood there expectantly. You lifted your undershirt over your head, unclasped your bra, and removed your panties. You lifted one leg backwards, removed your shoe and sock, and then did the same with the other. By this time, General Hux once more had his arms behind his back.

“On my desk.” You swallowed hard as you walked past him. You scooted onto his desk, tensing as your bare ass touched the cold surface. The General faced you, commanding you to lie down. You obeyed immediately, your eyes on the ceiling. Your breaths were shaky. “Bend your legs.” You planted your feet against his desk, scooting backwards when he told you to so that your legs were bent and, when he commanded it, spread. You were too afraid to be fully aroused. He was difficult to read, yet the fact that you had disappointed him was obvious. He was doing nothing to hide it.

“Does it please you to know you’ve caught his eye?” You shuddered in shame. The General stepped up to his desk and placed his hands on either of your knees. “You are under obligation to see that he succeeds in his missions, (L/n), but you are _my_ soldier.”

“Sir.” He sighed, which caused your eyes to sweep over to his face. General Hux bent forward, his mouth pressed against your right knee. He pressed a light kiss to your flesh. Then, his eyes locking onto yours, his tongue darted out past his lips. The tip of it teased along the side of your knee. He drew a line up the length of your leg, to your thigh, to your entrance, and then plunging his tongue up inside of you. You gasped, bucking your hips, which he seized and pressed down against his desk. He swirled his organ within you and you could not stop the moan that escaped your lips.

You quickly raised a hand to your mouth, covering it until the General commanded that you replace the limb upon his desk. You obeyed, your mind hazy as you realized that no one could hear you save for him. He returned his mouth to your body, sucking on you. His tongue swirled around your clitoris, prodding and nudging it before he moved that sinful organ downwards and inside of you again. You could hear him slurping up your juices as you grew wet with his treatment.

Panting, you rocked in time with the thrusting of his tongue. It swept along you, causing your inner walls to pulse in arousal. Pressure began to build within you, and you felt yourself growing close. Felt the dam ready to break. And he withdrew, leaving you unsatisfied. Leaving you yelping as a hand seized your left angle, tugging you so that you fell off his desk. Releasing you so that your feet hit the ground first, and he was able to whip you around, bending you over his desk. Without warning, his hand met your ass with a loud smack that had you bucking your hips and hissing. Your eyes watered, and you lifted your hands to your face, your elbows propped up against the piece of furniture. You cradled your forehead, your entire form shivering as you sniffled.

“I am… I am sorry.” Your chest heaved as the first few tears began to run down your face. The General placed a single hand against your back. He pressed on your shoulder blade so that you turned to him. You clasped both hands together in front of yourself and stepped up against him when he tugged you forward. His hands found either side of your face. He tilted your head back whilst claiming your mouth. Your lips instinctually parted for him, his tongue delving inside. You caressed his tongue with your own, submitting whenever he moved to dominate you.

His mouth left yours only to trail down your neck then claim one of your breasts while his hand attended to the other. You tilted your head back, allowing your eyes to close in pleasure as he rolled a nipple with his tongue. He pinched its twin between two fingers, massaging even as his mouth moved upwards then attacked yours again. You kissed him deeply, moaning wantonly. His hand lowered so that he was able to cup you. You felt as though you were melting at his touch, at the way he expertly flicked your clitoris in a way that had you cumming already. General Hux rubbed his finger against you as you rocked against him in orgasm. His mouth remained on yours the entire time, leaving only once you were coming down from your high. He lifted his hand to his mouth, his tongue darting out as he sucked your juices from his fingers.

“Redress.”

Your head was spinning as you obeyed. You felt his hands in your hair, adjusting your locks so that everything followed regulations. It baffled you how well he was able to regain his composure. The two of you exited his office. He commanded you to a temporary workstation then turned in the opposite direction and headed down the hallway. You walked to your post, found that the others within the room were already aware that you were to arrive, and quickly went to work.

_**In the Dead of Night** _

You grunted as a body joined yours on the mattress. You had returned to your room, your three roommates had pressed you with questions, and you had told half-truths before turning out the lights. You supposed you were a little thankful that this time he was not lingering on the cabinet between the two bunks. You slipped an arm under your pillow, your eyes searching the darkness in front of you as you attempted to take in the metal helmet that stared coldly back.

“Did daddy have fun fucking you again?”

You sighed, closing your eyes as you spoke in a whisper, “That helmet makes your voice carry. You’re going to make all the girls scream again.” You could feel a shift on the mattress as he lifted his hands. He placed the helmet between your stomach and his. Reopening your eyes, you attempted to make out his face in the dark. If you tried to touch him, he would retreat, would leave you. It was common knowledge that Kylo Ren did not like to be touched. You kept your hands to yourself. “He didn’t fuck me.”

“Sexualized cannibalism.” You snorted out a giggle then covered your mouth.

“You’re in my mind again.” The smile remained on your lips, which were caressed by your tongue as you wet them. “It’s not exactly fair. You _know_ how to hurt me. How to _truly_ hurt me. You didn’t have to destroy it like that.”

“So… I should have indulged in your self-destructive tendencies and…choked you again?”

“Touché.”

“Perhaps if you learned to color within the lines, you would not find yourself…devoid of your computer.”

“It’s hard to stay in the lines when you’re watching me.”

“Careful. Daddy doesn’t appreciate competition.”

Underneath the pillow, you curled your fingers so that your hand formed a loose fist. “Is it only because it annoys him that you’re talking to me?”

“I had presumed that you were nothing more than an insignificant blip on the General’s radar. But, as you already suspect, you’re…different from the others aboard this vessel.” His face was closer to yours than it had previously been. “Because of this, you’re all alone.”

“Please don’t hurt me tonight.” His nose ghosted over your cheek, caressed your nose, and his mouth was mere centimeters from yours. It was the closest you had ever been to him. Perhaps that anyone had been to him in a long while.

“Daddy won’t disapprove if you don’t tell him.” He swallowed your response with his mouth, hungrily claiming your lips. You marveled over how smooth his lips were, how he could be so cruel yet kind. Strong yet gentle. Your mouth worked against his, light smacking echoing from your bed. The two of you paused when one of your roommates stirred. She rolled over onto her other side. You knew Kylo Ren was in her mind, was aware of when her consciousness drifted once more, when he began kissing you again. This was a man that could order the slaughter of entire villages; men, women, and children alike. He could be so cruel and hard, and yet there was a certain vulnerability in the way he was handling you. Tonight, at least, he had no intention of hurting you. “The only thing they allow themselves to fear is bodily harm…death.” You closed your lips around his, squeezing your eyes closed. You feared so much more than that. As a member of the First Order, you should have surrendered your entire existence to the cause. Should have feared only those things. “What has allowed you to be different?”

The fingertips of his gloves met your cheek simultaneous to the moment he drew his mouth away from yours. “Is that why I disappoint you?” He was seizing his helmet, replacing it, but not before uttering out a single word: _no_. When he left, you felt disappointment wash over you. But it was not a cold feeling. It was merely a longing. This time, you promised yourself, you would not tell the General of Kylo Ren’s visit, of your indiscretion.


	7. Quiet Goodbye

Quiet Goodbye

You were very aware of the reasoning behind his kindness the following day when you were called to Doctor Wiu’s office. He handed you a sheet of paper, which you immediately recognized as transfer papers. Initially you believed it was a new way for him to throw a tantrum, a vindictive action against General Hux. When you read the reasoning for your transfer, however, you were forced to recognize the truth. It was Kylo Ren that had pressed for your leave, but it was also the General that had agreed. Both their names were signed. Given your current psychological standing, you were a detriment to the First Order. Entrusting you with codes, with any security issues, would be done so in poor taste. Truthfully, they would be fools for not pulling you from your position. There was no need to compromise the functionality of the Finalizer should you spiral downwards into a complete psychotic break. That was not to say the decision did not hurt. It stung deeply.

Nowhere on the page did it even indicate that you had had sexual relations with your superior, which led you to believe that Doctor Wiu was oblivious to this fact. He would be transferred along with you to ensure that you remained with the same psychologist while your medication was adjusted. The Finalizer would receive a new psychiatric provider while he was away with you.

_Exhibitions of reckless behavior._

You read over the line multiple times, unable to tear your eyes away from the page as you sat on your bunk. All your belongings were packed into a single bag, which sat to your right on the floor. In three hours you and Doctor Wiu would board the vessel that would be responsible for taking you to your new post. It was temporary, Doctor Wiu had assured you, as your work on the Finalizer did not go unnoticed. You were very adept at your job, not to mention the dedication with which you handled your work. The vulnerability with which your mind had begun to dance with, with which you had found yourself displaying, had resulted in an alteration of your work habits.

You had admitted to having never allowed yourself to fall into such a deeply inebriated state. Had admitted that you were seeking pain through being choked. Self-destructive behaviors that, should they carry into your daily tasks, there was every chance you would endanger the lives of those around you. Without him even telling you, you came to the realization that _this_ was what had so disappointed Kylo Ren. You had failed the First Order, the very thing that you devoted your whole life to. No, not exactly your entire life. As he had stated the previous night, there was something different. Reflecting on that, you knew exactly why it was that General Hux had allowed himself to indulge in sexual relations with you. Your individuality annoyed him, and yet there was a modicum of respect he held for you because of this. It _interested_ him.

Your work did not go unnoticed, you repeated in your head. Which meant that you had been on the General’s radar long before your slipup. You had had his approval all along. It made you feel sick to your stomach to know this. The paper in your hands noisily shuddered as you trembled.

Neither General Hux nor Kylo Ren made an appearance before you boarded the vessel with Doctor Wiu. You heard nothing from them when you landed, when you were taken to the room in which you would be staying. It was directly beside Doctor Wiu’s temporary quarters. You dropped your bag to the ground beside the small dresser that was present then climbed onto the bed and curled into a ball. You did not bother to cover yourself with the blankets. Did not cry. Only stared blankly at the plain surface in front of you.

Within days, the bruises on your neck faded and you adjusted to the fact that you were no longer on the Finalizer. The alteration in the dose of Duloxetine had a noticeable improvement on your mood. Two weeks after you had been taken to your temporary post, you were given small tasks to perform. Nothing to do with security; your clearance was temporarily revoked. You found that what unnerved you the most throughout the day was that there were never any reports or sounds of workstations being decimated by Kylo Ren’s lightsaber. Still, you adjusted to this quietude fairly easily.

Fifty-three days you had been there before you were allowed access to a computer that needed its codes rewritten. Your fingers awkwardly danced along the keyboard, and you found yourself backtracking more often than in the past. Within a week, you were back up to speed. You would be undergoing a test to have your security clearance reinstated within a few days.

Some days you worked beside technicians or analysts, while other times you were alone. It hardly drew your attention if someone entered the room while you worked. You would continue with your task without looking over your shoulder. It was no different on the morning of your seventieth day at your workstation. You had been away from the Finalizer for over one-hundred and twenty days. It baffled you how fast time flowed. You marveled over this in the morning, but while you typed at the computer and opened up status reports, you focused on the tasks at hand. A body was just out of line from your peripheral. You could see the shadow it cast, however did not allow this to distract you.

You noticed the message icon flashing in the corner of your screen. You reached over, touched it, and saw that a coworker with whom you had conversed on several occasions had sent you an attachment. The subject header said _For a little cheering up_. You hesitated, knowing that one of your superiors was behind you watching you work. The message was obviously of the personal assortment. You minimized the message then finished another task from your list.

Glancing at the clock, you realized that it was time for your lunch. Before you logged out, you decided you would check the message. The superior behind you could not reprimand you for doing so considering the timing. You touched the icon, opened the message, and clicked on the attachment. Your eyebrows drew up towards your hairline. Someone had taken a picture of Kylo Ren and added a graphic teardrop and the words Cry-Lo on it.

A familiar noise, though you could not initially place it, sounded from behind you where your superior stood. The moment red flashed in your peripheral and then sparks flew from the console as the lightsaber cut through, you knew where you recognized it from. As the helmeted man destroyed another of your workstations, you found yourself slipping off your chair and quietly tiptoeing towards the doorway. You punched the button to open the door, which began to lift before it groaned and slammed back closed with such force. You jumped, turning and looking at Kylo Ren, whose arm was outstretched in your direction.

“I… I didn’t know you were coming, Sir,” you managed to say. You fell into the proper stance one was to use when addressing their superior. He turned off the lightsaber, and you found yourself licking your lips while nervously shifting your weight from one foot to the other. “Uh-uhm… Should I… Should I send for the repair crew?”

“Our therapy session with Doctor Wiu is directly after lunch.” His voice was as deep as you remembered it, as distant and cold. The door behind you, no longer influenced by the Force, opened. Kylo Ren exited before you did. You stood for several seconds in the same spot, shock keeping you in place. You had not been informed that Kylo Ren would be present on this base. Nor that Doctor Wiu wished to include him in your therapy session.

After lunch, you found that you _wished_ it had been just Kylo present. It seemed Doctor Wiu thought you ready to take on having both Kylo Ren and General Hux in the same room. You seated between both your superiors on a loveseat that was clearly meant for only two people. A single coloring page and three crayons so that you would all work together. Judging from the reproving looks the psychologist occasionally shot the three of you as no one picked up a crayon, it had at last dawned on him that those had been hickeys on your neck. That you had been letting your superior fuck you.

“If she is to be cleared to work with the pair of you again, I need to be assured that it won’t be to her detriment. There has been much progress.”

Kylo Ren and General Hux both reached for the black crayon. The former implanted use of the Force to bring the utensil to himself. Without reacting poorly, cool as usual, General Hux simply grabbed up the red crayon. You tentatively leaned forward and lifted the gray. No one started coloring. It was with an air of awkwardness that the three of you sat on the couch. You glanced from General Hux to Kylo Ren to the page. They simply were looking in one another’s direction, both challenging the other. With a heavy sigh, you slipped closer to the edge of the couch and pressed your crayon against the page. At approximately the same time, your two superiors moved forward and began to color opposite sides of the page.

“Stay in the lines,” Kylo Ren uttered, prompting General Hux to grunt.

You could feel Doctor Wiu watching the three of you. That, coupled with the presence of the two men beside you, made it _very_ difficult to obey Kylo Ren’s order. You winced when you noticed that you had gone over the line with a small dot of gray. Unsure as to whether or not the Knight had yet seen this, you simply continued coloring and moved to a new section. The black crayon immediately was pressed in the spot you had left, shading over your mistake.

As the three of you continued to color, the psychologist began addressing you with questions. Basic things such as how your day was going, what you had eaten for breakfast, and then: “How did it make you feel when Lord Ren was destroying your computer again?”

“It… Uhm… Well… It was sort of different this time.” The picture of Cry-lo Ren drifted into mind. Doctor Wiu and General Hux were unaware of the message; this you managed to discover when they both appeared genuinely confused by your reaction. “I, uhm, would say… I would say it was an appropriate reaction this time.”

“Daddy doesn’t approve of your answer,” Kylo Ren said without pausing in his task of busily shading in more of the picture.

General Hux pressed his crayon tighter against the page, the red much darker in the section he was currently working on. “Careful, Ren. You wouldn’t want me to have to punish her.” Judging by his tone and the way Doctor Wiu frowned, you knew there was a sexual meaning behind his words. Your cheeks heated up. A crayon snapped in half. You glanced towards the black utensil then blinked upon seeing it was whole. Your eyes darted to General Hux’s crayon. Your superior straightened and looked towards the Knight, who had apparently used the Force to break the crayon. Kylo simply kept coloring. “She is _my_ soldier.”

“My orders supercede yours, General.” Judging by the way General Hux’s jaw was clenched, you knew that Supreme Leader Snoke had made no effort of disguising his special treatment of the Knight of Ren. “She will remain here if I see it fit.” Kylo drew back from the coloring page, having shaded the majority of it.

“I am certain Supreme Leader Snoke will _not_ allow one of our better assets to rot for the purpose of keeping you from throwing a tantrum.”

You slouched in your seat, your eyes darting around the room as you looked for an escape route. The two men were rather caught up in their pissing contest, both verbally lashing out at one another while you managed to slip from the couch and shuffle towards Doctor Wiu’s desk. The psychologist had you sit down in his chair while he stood beside it. During a lull in the argument, Doctor Wiu chose to speak. He easily gained your superiors’ attention, asking if he could see you interact with one of them at a time. He requested that Kylo Ren temporarily leave the room.

That cold mask stared at the doctor for half a second before he accepted that he would oblige. Doctor Wiu retrieved the coloring page and crayons, all the while asking that you remain in his chair while General Hux stayed on the couch. The General straightened his posture, his eyes on the psychologist.

“I am not opposed to your subordinates being submissive to you, General, however in this situation it would be ill-advised. I want (y/n)…celibate.”

 _Ouch._ you mouthed.

“I will be informing Lord Ren of this as well. As I understand it, I will be remaining at this duty station for a while longer. (Y/n)’s new psychiatric provider will be informed of this decision, given her records, and also my personal notes. Should either of us feel that she would be better suited at a different post, she will be removed. I have already received approval from every source I need on this.”

General Hux stood from the couch, cocking his head to the side without losing face. “I assume you’ve uncovered the reasoning behind her…daddy issues.”

Doctor Wiu pressed his lips tightly together, and you believed for a moment that this information would not be divulged. Thus it took you by surprise when he started to talk, as the things he said he had not even revealed to you. “Observing her aboard the Finalizer and on this base, I have become aware of the reasoning, that is correct. The soldiers who are not trained from birth to serve the First Order, those that retain unique names, often still devote their entire existence to it. (Y/n) is one of those few who entertain other notions. Loyal as she is, she has aspirations pertaining to things beyond the First Order.

“Given that her daily life consists of interacting with those who naturally swallow such sentiments so readily, she is seeking drastic measures to squash that bit of individualism that exists within her. You, General, are her father-like figure in doing so. You train your soldiers to uphold such expectations along with Captain Phasma. (Y/n) referred to you as ‘daddy’ because she wants you to _teach_ her how to be…just another soldier.”

“Then it should be of no consequence how I treat her.”

“Excuse me, Sir, but you _fucking_ her is proof that she _isn’t_ just another soldier.” Doctor Wiu placed a hand to his forehead, squeezing his eyes closed then reopening them as he apologized to the General. “General Hux, you are sending conflicting signals to (L/n), which will lead to a complete psychotic break, especially with Lord Ren involved.” General Hux’s eyes drifted to you though he addressed the doctor when he questioned what was being suggested. “Until you decide whether you wish to have her as _just another soldier_ or as one… _worthy_ of deserving further attention such as…such as pleasing you in bed, Sir, I do not want her having sex.”

“I see. Very well,” General Hux said. He was composed as he shifted past the table and couch. “I will send in Kylo Ren.” He left the room, which soon accepted the presence of the aforementioned Knight.

Doctor Wiu motioned for you to once again stay in his chair. Kylo Ren merely stood a foot away from the door. Stiff, a menacing presence and yet demanding in nature. It befit his position of authority. As usual, Doctor Wiu rose to the challenge of addressing the man that was known to kill subordinates and anyone else that displeased him. The psychologist repeated his stance on you having sex, to which the Knight responded with a tone of indifference that he had not touched you.

“Lord Ren—“

“She is more adept when she is…undersexed.” You bit the insides of your cheeks, your heart fluttering at the words. You recalled having used the term when you had been drunk. “That is of little concern. Her self-isolation has a greater impact on worsening her condition while aboard the ship.”

“Which is why I… I was hoping to—“

“To what, doctor? Hoping to ask that I offer my time as a resource for a soldier to remedy herself of her daddy issues?”

Doctor Wiu sighed at the way the Knight revealed himself to having been in his head. All the same, he recovered quickly and spoke again, his voice not high in volume but still appropriate for the situation. “You can’t deny that you view her as more than a soldier, Lord Ren. You wouldn’t waste your time with her if that were the case.”

“How true.”

Your eyes widened and lips parted as Kylo Ren turned sharply on his heel and exited the office. Doctor Wiu began packing away the things he knew would be beneficial for your new provider to have. He informed you that while initially you would be boarding the Finalizer, you would, in fact, be stationed on Starkiller base for approximately two months along with General Hux and Kylo Ren. You nodded, listening to the path your psychiatric care would be taking. The First Order was not about to release you from your duties for something as trivial as depression; it was more than trivial in your mind, and that only caused you to inwardly wince. It wasn’t supposed to be anything major. You should have been happy so long as you were doing things that allowed the First Order to succeed. You only half heard everything Doctor Wiu said before you were sent to your room to retrieve your things. What with your workstation once again destroyed by Kylo Ren, you had no duties to return to.

Had it been General Hux waiting for you in your room, you would have been a panting mess on your bed, you were certain. As it was, the Knight simply continued to sit on your bed while you began packing. Being on your knees in front of the General would have indicating you were giving into carnal desires. On your knees with Kylo Ren mere inches away, you were digging through your dresser drawers to pull clothing into your bag.

Your hand paused near the entrance of your bag. You looked sideways at the Knight, who was silently watching you. “You were saying goodbye, weren’t you?” His head shifted a fraction of an inch to the side. He made no move to answer. You shook your head and pressed your hand inside your bag, pushing things down to create more room. “Those transfer papers weren’t new. You had put them in the moment I had been placed in psychiatric care. No one told me.”

“Are you going to cry to daddy?” You brushed the back of your hand against your eyes then under your nose as you sniffled. “Perhaps he will be more sympathetic. Let you sit in his lap while you cry.”

With a growl of frustration, you pushed your bag away and flung yourself to him. Your hands were on his legs, spreading them apart and diving towards his waistband as you attempted to part his robe. Kylo Ren caught your wrists, squeezing them painfully so that you stilled. You bowed your head as you remained on your knees in front of him. You felt foolish, having believed that he was saying such things out of pure jealousy over the fact that you had allowed General Hux to have his way with you on more than one occasion. You had to remind yourself that he was in better control of himself than to do something like that. Though he teased you, he did not allow himself to fall into a completely childish display of jealousy.

“I’m so insignificant—why are you giving me the time of day?” Your chest was no less heavy when you spoke aloud the words that had nagged your brain for so long. His hands left your wrists and he rested his forearms against his thighs. You could feel him watching you. Kylo Ren said nothing in response to your inquiry. You shook your head, setting your hands in your lap as you knelt there.

“A slight difference, being chained down versus being anchored.” You lifted your gaze to his masked visage. He raised a hand and allowed it to hover close to your throat, which felt as though a vice had suddenly gripped it. You attempted to gasp but had no air in your lungs to do so. When the pressure was lifted, you found yourself a panting mess. Your breath hit the insides of his thighs, which you had unknowingly grasped to steady yourself and keep from falling forward. “A difference in touching someone or being touched.” Your fingers dug into the muscles of his legs as the pressure returned, your head feeling light at the lack of oxygen provided to your body. A burst of relief when again you could gulp in air. His fingers touched your cheek, his thumb directly under your lips.

“I’m…sorry…for…touching…you…” you rasped out in puffs of breath. Your chest rose and fell heavily. Realizing that you still had contact with him, you began to pull your hands away. Then you were gripping his thighs again as a wave of pressure rolled in your throat, choking you, then ventured down. You jumped as you felt a swirl of pressure on your lower belly that moved down, as though ghost fingers were crawling along your skin.

“No, you’re not.” His voice was so steady that it baffled you. “And…I’m _not_ touching you.” You could not stop your toes from curling as those nonexistent touches pressed up against your clit. You gasped, rocking into the sensation. Tears were in the corners of your eyes, and you moved your hands up the Knight’s legs and once more started to reach for his waistband. His hand shifted for the lightsaber that was at his hip. He pressed the back end of the weapon against your mouth. Your hands stilled in their task, moving so that you were gripping the metal. Your lips parted and you swirled your tongue along the tip. 

The pressure on your clitoris shifted down to your entrance then back again. You breathily seized the metal between your lips and sucked on the lightsaber. Your hands moved up and down the length of the metal as Kylo Ren reached into his pants and withdrew his throbbing member. Your hot breath fogged the surface of the metal, your eyelids fluttering as a strange force kept your hands on the weapon though you wanted more than anything to reach out towards his cock.

You arched your back, feeling yourself slick around the invisible pressure that was stimulating your clitoris as it once more shifted. It felt as though someone were fingering your entrance, prodding and stretching you before rolling upwards again. You drew the lightsaber into your mouth, bobbing your head up and down its length as your eyes were graced with the sight of Kylo Ren wrapping a single hand around his cock. He drew his gloved hand upwards then stroked from the head to the base. Up again. A single finger drew circles around the head of his dick, which was beginning to drip with precum.

He wasn’t touching you, and you weren’t touching him. Your hands mimicked his as you stroked the lightsaber and he pumped his swollen cock. The pressure between your legs grew in unison with what felt to be an invisible hand on your throat. Not hard enough to completely take your breath away. Just enough to cause your arousal to increase to the point that you were taken over the edge. You moaned loudly around the metal, your cries of pleasure vibrating down its length to the portion that Kylo Ren held. These vibrations, your cries of pleasure as you orgasmed, brought the Knight to completion. His seed shot on the breast of your shirt.

Only once you were no longer a mewling mess did the pressure completely leave both your throat and panties. The Knight of Ren used one of your blankets to wipe himself off then readjusted the front of his pants. He stood from your bed, moving gracefully around you and heading for your door. He instructed you to change your shirt.

You looked over your shoulder at him, panting as you spoke. “Sir…just… Just so we’re clear… That was hello?”

He did not turn completely around, however dipped his chin and turned his head halfway. “Indeed.” The man left the room so that you could finish readying yourself for your return to the Finalizer.

When he had said that silent goodbye, you had been permitted to momentarily touch him. That you could never let go of. And yet this hello, during which neither of you could make the contact you both so wanted, had been even more to you.


	8. The Pull

The Pull

You had been aboard the Finalizer for two days and had hardly caught sight of either General Hux or Kylo Ren. The two were busily tending to issues regarding the Rebellion. You fell back into the routine of recoding some of the systems. The technician that had taken your place had altered things to a different format that you found yourself needing to learn. The journey to Starkiller Base was riddled with frequent side quests to obtain information. Kylo Ren and the General left in the Command Shuttle for three days. During that time, Captain Phasma had become the main figure of authority aboard the Star Destroyer. You checked in with Doctor Vas then reported to the Captain.

Captain Phasma continued to walk the hall as you went over the details of modifications you believed would be necessary to ensure the best security for the systems. Your superior paused in her steps, turned to you, and had you repeat the length of time it would take to fulfill these requirements. The tasks would need to be delegated accordingly, and even with more members of the staff completing such things, the work would barely be finished by the time you were to report to Starkiller Base.

“See to it that you begin immediately.”

“Of course, Captain,” you said, nodding your head in respect then walking past her so that you could do as ordered. Once at your workstation, you opened up the message center and began typing in the orders for various tasks that needed to be completed. You sent each message to the appropriate worker aboard the ship. This took you nearly ninety minutes. Once done, you started to run another diagnostics on the section that you were to take care of before dinner.

It was with little difficulty that you did what was necessary to strengthen the systems. Time was the main factor. Having been able to delegate the tasks that truly would have given you issue—the ones that touched upon coding that were not in your line of expertise—had reduced the stress you had been feeling earlier in the day.

Captain Phasma entered your workstation around fifty minutes before you were going to log out for dinner. You gave her an update on the progress, your fingers working on the keyboard all the while. The line of code you were writing needed to be completed before you could so much as pause. When your typing ceased, Captain Phasma stepped closer. She was directly beside your chair, and you turned it so that you were facing her.

“The General and Lord Ren have returned. General Hux has ordered you give him a report on the breakdown of work needed. Doctor Vas has informed me that Lord Ren will be present during your session with him.”

“Understood, Captain.”

“Take these final minutes to compose the report and submit it to the General. Dinner is not a priority; you can eat while with the doctor if necessary.”

“Yes, Captain.”

She left you to do as ordered, and you immediately opened the template needed to compose the report. Once or twice did you fire up the messaging center to be reminded of the identities of those who had been included in the project. Dinner was a quarter of the way over by the time you were able to log out and venture into the cafeteria. You grabbed a quick meal, which you ate at a leisurely pace. Two of your comrades that had been enlisted to help with the project approached you, and you spent a little time going over some of the plans.

You excused yourself only when you knew it was time to begin heading towards the psychologist’s office. Rather than a couch as Doctor Wiu had used, Doctor Vas had provided two chairs on which patients could sit. Kylo Ren was seated on one, and you slipped into the other. Unlike Doctor Wiu as well, Doctor Vas appeared unnerved to have Kylo Ren in such close proximity. His gaze constantly flitted over to the masked man, who acknowledged your entrance with no more than a quick moment of looking your way.

“Lord Ren, Doctor Wiu and I have been in contact, and we agree that… Sir?”

Kylo Ren had stood from the chair and paced the room. “(Y/n).” Your attention snapped to him, and Doctor Vas pressed his lips tightly together to indicate that he would be silent until the Knight gave him permission to speak. “You previously were bunked with Lei Addison.”

“Yes, Sir.” You felt a roiling your stomach.

“Her discharge from the First Order; I want _you_ to rewrite any programs she handled.”

“Of course, Sir.” Lei Addison’s cousin had been discovered to be a member of the Rebellion. No chances were to be taken when it came to security. Addison was being relieved of her duties; her cousin had been executed. You suspected that more in the family had also been put to death, if not Addison herself. “I also found a number of other issues with the system and reported them to Captain Phasma. The plans for remedying this situation have been sent to General Hux.”

The fact that a member of the First Order had been possibly supplying the Rebellion with information visibly upset the Knight of Ren, who did not cease his pacing. He wrung his hands as he attempted to calm himself. Doctor Vas sat straighter in his seat. You adjusted yourself in your chair so that you were also sitting more in accordance with regulations. Your eyes followed Kylo Ren’s every move.

“Sir?”

He stopped directly in front of you, raised a hand, and you felt a presence pushing against your consciousness. You closed your eyes to prevent your natural instincts to fight against the Force. “Show me everything.” He was assessing the possibility that you, too, were a traitor. You let him openly explore your mind, showing him anything he asked of you. Only when he was satisfied did the pressure lift. “You will adjust the security on Starkiller as well when we arrive.”

“Of course, Sir.” You ran your tongue along your lips. “It would expedite things if a message was sent to those stationed within the security section of Starkiller regarding the coding and other tasks necessary to ensure the success. Some things can be easily fixed immediately.”

The fact that he again took his seat on the other chair showed both you and the doctor that your words had helped to assure the Knight of Ren that the matter should cause him only minimal concern. His masked countenance turned towards the psychologist, indicating he was ready for the man to proceed. Doctor Vas cleared his throat.

“As… As I was saying, Lord Ren, Doctor Wiu and I agree that (y/n) should have an hour or two of your time at least one every five days when allowed to speak openly.” Fingers drumming against the arm of the chair in which he sat, Kylo Ren said nothing. This prompted the psychologist to elaborate. “The individualistic tendencies she may be attempting to suppress may need an outlet to prevent any excess stress. Based on Doctor Wiu’s observations, you are the sole individual with which she has begun to be so…open with in the past.

“Given how impressive her capabilities with running and improving security programs are, and the fact that an important project has begun with her as lead, we want to ensure that there is not a repeat of any…past incidents.”

“Should not she be discussing such things with you?” Doctor Vas averted his gaze. He did not have to say it aloud; it was readily clear that you would never comfortably allow yourself to be so vulnerable with the psychologist, with anyone. There was also the added fact that Kylo Ren could easily access your mind if he became suspicious. “I see.”

“The… The main concern, Sir, is the setting in which this should take place.”

“My quarters will be sufficient. You can send her tonight for the first meeting.”

“Ah… That is… Lord Ren, I—“

Rather than stay and listen to the man’s babbling and protests, the Knight stood and exited the office. You pressed a hand to your forehead, sighing. You assured the man as best you could that you would refrain from sexual intercourse. It was not, you reminded him, Kylo Ren with whom you had been intimate in the past. Doctor Vas pinched the bridge of his nose.

“My concern also lies with the fact that he is in an agitated state.”

“I… I have no reason to fear him right now, doctor. He may destroy portions of the ship with little regard to the effects it will have at times, however I have not known him to kill without taking more consideration into the repercussions. My death would slow the progress greatly, and he will not allow this.”

“Only if you are certain of this will I approve of his orders.”

You bit back a sardonic smile, the urge to tell him that he was the one being reckless nudging you. “I am certain Lord Ren would not allow himself to aid the Rebellion by blindly killing me due to Addison’s actions.” You stood from the chair, looked over at the clock, and informed the psychologist that you were going to leave the session early so that you could contact Starkiller base with the plans for adjustments. He waved his hand in dismissal, shaking his head all the while.

_**Kylo Ren’s Quarters; 2130** _

After a single knock on the door, you were permitted entrance. You found the Knight of Ren seated on the edge of his bed. His helmet was set off to the side, and you were caught off guard by the sight of his face. He looked…tired. Unsure. Almost vulnerable. Then he caught himself, and the cold mask of his façade returned. You pressed the button to close the door behind yourself. You walked over to the chair he had set up across from where he sat. You lowered yourself into the seat.

“Am I allowed to know…if Addison was executed?”

“She was,” he said stiffly. “I will not allow Supreme Leader Snoke’s plans to be compromised by the question of whether or not she was loyal.”

“I… I understand, Sir.”

“Do you?” You lowered your gaze, at both his cold tone and the question itself. “All soldiers should be willing to throw their lives away for the success of the First Order.”

You clasped your knees with either of your hands. “Lord Ren… I… Do you ever feel alone?” A look of hurt crossed his features, as though he had never expected you to ask the question aloud though you both know you had thought it many times before. “Nevermind. I just… You are so powerful. Next to you I feel so insignificant, and then I wonder, with no one on your level, how does that feel? Loneliness scares me.

“I’m not scared of darkness. There’s darkness in everything. Even those in the Rebellion who claim to be on the Light Side kill others easily. They destroy things that come from the First Order. Maybe I don’t understand the full complexities of such things, though… I don’t know much about the Force. But I do know that… I don’t ever want to fail you, for you to find it necessary or pleasing to leave me behind.”

“Say what you really mean.”

You felt your throat constrict, and this time it was your own body doing such things on its own. Tears slipped down your cheeks. “I don’t…” You gulped, a wave of nausea assaulting you. “I don’t want you…to ever…forget about me. I feel so alone and that I’m _nothing_. That when I die, that’s it. My existence is gone forever, as though I never lived.” You set your face in your hands, covering your eyes. “And that’s wrong! Because my entire existence should be as a pawn for the First Order. Should be to simply be a random part that ensures its success and that should be all that matters. My life should mean nothing to me, but it does, and I…” You broke off in a sob.

You were able to hear him stand. Listened to the sounds of him stripping out of his robes and pulling on a different pair of pants and shirt. Bedclothes. You did not see him naked as you kept your face covered. When he spoke your name, you lowered your limbs but kept your gaze on the ground. He told you to turn out the light then come to bed. You obeyed, navigating your way in the darkness after you hit the switch. You slipped under the covers. His back was to you, and you dared not touch him.

“I feel it too.” Your eyes ran along his back, which was no more than a silhouette in the darkness. “That pull, the longing. But I immune to the Light.” A shift on the bed as he turned, his hands soon on either side of your head and his body pressed tightly against yours. You felt his breath hitting your face. “And by the grace of Supreme Leader’s training, I will keep you from being seduced as well.” His mouth on yours, claiming your lips with his. Pulling back for breath. “Don’t be afraid. I will keep you in the Darkness with me.”

“You won’t let me be forgotten?” you asked in a whisper against his mouth.

He moved so that he was underneath you, his legs outstretched while his torso was erect. You were seated on his lap, legs on either side of him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face against his neck. Kylo Ren cupped your face in his hands, moving you so that you were watching one another in the darkness.

“Daddy won’t be pleased with you.”

“Sometimes… Sometimes we disappoint our fathers.”

“You’re so right,” he said without hesitation, and you could not help but wonder how it was he could… _understand_ what you said. How he could obviously relate to it in a way that had his kisses almost desperate. He said he was immune to the Light, and yet it was more that he refused to let himself lose the battle to it.

You, on the other hand, were not as strong. You loved the General’s chains that held you down in the darkness, that bound you to everything he wanted. Yet at the same time you loved, too, the way the Knight of Ren promised to be your anchor and keep you afloat in the pool of Dark that was familiar. Both pulled at you in their own way, and you feared beyond anything that once you were torn in half your remains would be easily discarded—your existence forgotten.


	9. Stress Relief

Stress Relief

You had not expected to wake up to an empty bed. Or a tray of food set upon the small table that had been positioned nearby. You tucked back some of your hair, sat up, and pulled the table closer. At the first bite, you blinked in surprise. It was different than the food you normally ate in the cafeteria, the seasoning a new blend. Kylo Ren entered the room when you were halfway through the meal, the fork in your mouth as you dragged another bite from its prongs. His helmeted face turned your way for but a moment before he set the fresh pair of clothing he had brought for you in a neat pile on the end of the bed.

“S-sir?” you asked when he moved to exit the room. The Knight paused, tilting his head without facing you to let you know that he was listening. “Did you… Did you make this?” You gestured towards the remains of food on your plate with the fork despite the fact that he wasn’t looking. His fingers twitched. Normally this would indicate agitation, however you did not feel any ire roiling from him. The muscles in his shoulders were relaxed, not tense as they were when they reached for his lightsaber and he began a tantrum. “It’s good.”

Kylo Ren looked straight ahead once more and, without offering a verbal response, exited the room. You ate the final few bites, set your fork upon the empty plate, and then stood and dressed. Assuming that the dishes would be taken care of by another, you left the Knight’s room and headed immediately for your workstation. Several messages were waiting for you when you logged in. You returned some of the correspondences with detailed replies to elaborate on the issues that needed to be addressed. This took the better part of two hours, after which time you pulled up the logs that detailed which files Addison had had contact with and what systems she had had influence over.

You immediately called for a technical analyst to come into the room, and it took roughly eight minutes for the man to arrive. He pulled up a seat beside you, and you scooted your chair to allow him enough room to take over the keyboard. His typing speed, though slower than your own, was adequate. He had introduced himself as Ro. The man was in contact many times with another, and together the two were able to decrypt the files that Addison had worked with so that you could handle them freely. Ro and you worked side-by-side to scan through and deduce which files needed handling the soonest.

Instead of eating lunch, the two of you had a quick snack before getting to work once more on the files. Overall, it would take you more than a day to ensure none of the files were compromised themselves or that they could lead to other portions of the First Order being left defenseless to the Rebellion. The added fact that it was your duty to answer all questions on the project you had begun the previous day proved to lengthen the amount of time that would be necessary.

The two of you worked until close to dinnertime, at which point Captain Phasma entered and informed you that the General wished to speak with you in person. Ro did not pause in the task he was currently working to complete, which prevented any amount of worry from forming over whether or not progress would be postponed. You smoothed your uniform as you drew closer to the General’s office. You could not help but remember what he had done to you on his desk in the past.

Cursing yourself for the building arousal in your body, you pressed the button beside the door rather than knocked. A click then the door started to open. “How very formal of you,” General Hux remarked as you stepped inside the office. You said nothing, keeping your eyes on the ground until the door had once more closed. Then you lifted your gaze and found that he was standing behind his desk, a tablet in his hand. He waved it in the air, and you caught sight of the hologram graph you had included in one of your reports to him. “I understand that you are remedying any possible breeches that would result from Addison’s work.”

“Yes, Sir.” You cleared your throat. “I have a few analysts aiding me in this task.”

“I noticed,” he said, looking down at the tablet. His fingers weaved through some documents, sliding them aside before he tapped on another portion of the screen. A list of names popped up, and you recognized them as individuals helping with either the project you had started the previous day or those that had begun to aid as of that morning. “Do you require more assistance?”

“It would expedite things, Sir,” you admitted without hesitation.

“I will see to it that it is done.” General Hux set the tablet upon his desk then turned his cool stare over to you. You found that you could hardly meet his gaze, which seemed accusative for some reason. “I see. So you _did_ spend the night in Ren’s quarters.”

“It…wasn’t sexual, General,” you managed to say. He stepped around his desk and strode over to you at a leisurely pace. You tensed your legs to keep from running or otherwise backing away in retreat. His hand met your cheek—gently. “I… I’m not…sorry, Sir. I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry that you’re not sorry?” His tone was so level, almost mocking. It reminded you almost of the way he spoke to the Knight of Ren. You tried to keep your composure, however failed. You bowed your head and bent one leg closer to the other. The hand on your cheek shifted to your shoulder then pressed down. You allowed him to push you to your knees. “What an odd thing to say.” He was unbuckling his pants, and you were squirming a little as you felt yourself growing aroused by the sight of his forming bulge.

The tips of his fingers touched his cock through his undergarments. Your lips parted and your breath hit against both his hand and the bulge. You started to lift your hands, however paused when Doctor Wiu’s words filtered into your brain. You were supposed to be celibate. Did that include oral sex? You weren’t sure. A whine entered your ears, and it took you a moment to realize it was you moaning in frustration and arousal. His fingers deftly stroked up and down. You could see a bit of wetness forming where his cock was dripping precum.

After a few more seconds of fighting with yourself, you cupped him with both hands, one working at his sac and the other his cock through his clothing. He immediately pet your hair, stroked your cheek, and lifted your chin so that you were looking him in the eye.

“It was sexual, (y/n),” he said evenly, using the hand that was not on your face to tug his clothing down further. You gripped his newly freed cock, pumping it and swirling your thumb around his slit. He made a hissing noise of pleasure, grunting and bucking his hips at your touch. You could feel your body responding. “In some way, it will _always_ be sexual when it comes to Ren.” He growled out the name, as though it was an insult to his very existence that he had to speak it.

You tilted your head so that his hand slipped away from your chin and you were able to take him into your mouth. You moaned around his cock, sending vibrations through him that had General Hux seizing both your shoulder and the back of your head. He urged his cock deeper into your mouth. You took as much of him as you could, using your hand to please the rest. Bobbing your head and moaning around his cock, you failed to hear the door open. It was only when it clicked shut that you tensed, however General Hux’s hands kept you in place. He continued to fuck your mouth at an even pace, not letting whoever had arrived distract him from the pleasure.

“When you informed me that she had a job today, I assume this is not to what you were referring.” That deep voice had your mind in a fog. Kylo Ren walked to where he was standing beside the General, and you could feel him looking at you despite the helmet he wore.

General Hux’s voice was a little strained as, without pausing in the way he bucked his hips forward so that his cock hit the back of your throat, he said, “The job _you_ gave her yesterday, Ren.” You shyly ran your fingers along the General’s balls then caressed his thighs whilst relaxing your gag reflexes so that he could press the entirety of his cock into your mouth. He groaned a bit as he came inside your mouth, and you swallowed, working his cock until it completely softened. It was only then that he pulled back from you, wiped himself off, and fixed his pants.

As you started to rise and General Hux turned his back to you, Kylo Ren’s hand pressed down on your shoulder. You were returned to your previous position with a light _oomph_ , and the Knight moved so that his crotch was directly in front of your face. Judging by the noise that escaped the General, the red-head was giving Kylo Ren an indignant look. The Knight, however, simply moved aside his robe and lowered his pants before pulling your mouth to his dick. You blushed a bit, a swirl of mixed feelings invading as you began to suck him. You felt a tingling in your pussy, and you could not help but acknowledge the fact that this was the first time you had truly been allowed to touch the Force user in such a sexual manner.

“She has work to do, Ren,” the General hissed. “There is no time for you two to… _play_.” He was practically spitting out the words.

Kylo Ren, sarcastic and quick to the punch as ever, turned his head so that he was watching the other. “Perhaps daddy should spank her if she isn’t doing what she’s been told.”

You moaned hotly around the cock that was in your mouth. You were fighting off every urge to reach into your pants and pleasure yourself, and Kylo Ren’s teasing was not helping matters. General Hux sneered at the Knight. In the next moment, however, he stepped around so that he was behind you. You could feel the Knight of Ren adjusting himself into a different stance, holding your mouth on his cock as General Hux pushed you up a little higher. He genuflected beside you, cupping you through your clothing. You gasped and whimpered at the touch. At the way he rubbed between your folds through your uniform.

“Sit, Ren.”

“Do not think you can command me, General.” The redhead must have given the Knight a look with his intent, for the next moment, Kylo Ren pulled you off his dick long enough to shift onto the ground. You panted for air as General Hux moved you onto your hands and knees, and the Knight brought your head down towards his lap and thrust up into your mouth again. You felt a hand on your ass, rubbing kindly then it hit you roughly, causing you to jerk your hips forward.

When your pants and underwear were yanked down and air hit you, you whimpered again. The hand assaulted your bare rear then two fingers trailed down, thrusting into your wet, pliant opening. You pressed down against those digits, at the same time pumping Kylo Ren’s cock and swirling your tongue against the very tip of his erection. The Knight massaged your scalp with one hand and reached up with the other to free himself of his helmet. He pushed it a few inches away, grabbed your head with both hands, and fucked your mouth harder. At the same time, General Hux inserted a third finger into you and slapped your ass with his other hand.

You nearly gagged when Kylo ejaculated in your mouth. You swallowed, thankful that General Hux paused in his spankings for the time being. The Knight of Ren sat up, hooked his arms under your knees, and dragged you upwards. The General’s fingers slipped out of you, and you whimpered in disappointment. That is, until you were positioned over the Knight’s mouth, his tongue thrusting inside of you. You pressed your cunt against that wriggling organ, gasping when General Hux set his knees on either side of Kylo’s chest so that he could grab your breasts. You turned your head, capturing General Hux’s lips with your own. His tongue forced its way into your mouth, and you almost came undone right there. With the tongue dominating your mouth, and the other tongue that was lapping at your clitoris then entrance then once more deep inside you, you found yourself moaning incoherent things.

General Hux pinched your nipples between his index fingers and thumbs. He rotated them back and forth. You swirled your hips against Kylo’s touches, breaking the contact between General Hux’s mouth and yours as you were brought to orgasm. The General caught you so that you did not collapse atop the Knight, who continued to lap at your over-stimulated pussy.

“Nnn…I can’t take it.”

A hand smacking your ass, the General’s voice a hot whisper in your ear: “Don’t question your superior.” You bit down on your bottom lip, the two sets of hands holding you in place as Kylo Ren ran his teeth gently along your clit. He nipped at your inner thighs then once more suckled at your labia.

“Mmmm….I… I feel like…I feel like I’m….oh fuck, fuck, fuck.” General Hux had reached down with one hand and was massaging your pubis while at the same time using his other hand to knead your breast. Kylo was rolling your clitoris between his teeth, teasing portions of it with his tongue as well. Tears rolled down your cheeks as he brought you to a second climax.

This time you were allowed to move off of the Knight. You rolled onto your back, one leg bent and the other straight as you placed your hands against your forehead. You swore a few more times. Your two superiors were using different cloths to wipe themselves off. You glanced over at Kylo Ren, who had withdrawn a handkerchief and was wiping around his mouth. You swallowed hard at the sight of it.

“The report is on my desk,” General Hux said to Kylo Ren, who was pulling on his helmet. “So long as no computers are destroyed, things should progress quickly.” A shot at the Knight’s tendency to throw tantrums. How was it that the two were able to bicker as they were when just a few seconds ago they were working together to effectively pin you for multiple orgasms? It baffled you. General Hux turned to you while the Knight of Ren began scrolling through the plans. “Your sessions with Doctor Vas will be shortened so that you can take a few courses in systems that are being used within Starkiller Base.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Also, you will refrain from spending the night in sleeping quarters other than your own.” The tapping against the tablet paused. You had to hold back a giggle at the way Kylo’s masked visage slowly turned to consider General Hux. You truly wished that you could see the expression on his face. “I understand that you are to be given an hour or two of his time, however I do not Doctor Vas to be given the impression that you should be transferred for fear of your…condition worsening.”

_In other words, it’s best if the doctor isn’t tipped that I’m still sexually active with either of these men because I’m in Lord Ren’s bed instead of mine._

“Correct.” You jumped at the sound of the Knight’s voice, having momentarily forgotten that he had a tendency of looking in on your thoughts. He returned his attention to the tablet. “You should redress.”

You rose, grabbed up your clothes, and quickly did so. Not a minute after you were done, there was a buzz that indicated someone wished to speak with the General. Your heart fluttered in your chest, and you were thankful that Kylo Ren was a Force user. General Hux admitted them entrance. The Stormtrooper tensed upon noticing that Kylo was within the room. All the same, he began speaking with the General when told to do so.

Kylo Ren walked closer to you and indicated to part of the hologram that was displayed on the tablet. “These were modified a month ago—are you wasting time by altering it again?”

You were genuinely hurt by the accusation, but refused to let it show. “No, Sir. It was easily hacked in a mock attack I did from a basic system. I believe that when the system was rewritten on that portion, the firewalls were not coded correctly. There are too many backdoors. That in itself would not be an issue, however it would grant access to other systems and files aboard this ship.”

The Stormtrooper had been dismissed by General Hux, who had approached the pair of you as you were speaking. “You question her capabilities? Would you be more comfortable if I pulled her from the task?”

“That won’t be necessary.” He handed the tablet to General Hux before taking his leave.

You sighed, catching yourself when you started to shake your head. Those stern eyes were watching your every move. “Sir… I… May I speak freely, Sir?” Alone once more in the room with the General, you found your mind racing.

“You may.”

You turned so that the two of you were fully facing one another. “I’m… I’m very confused…about ….well, about what happened….between…er… When Lord Ren was in the room, and—“

“Supreme Leader Snoke would frown upon you being a casualty as a result of…bickering.” You could not help but wonder if that was the exact word that had been used. General Hux tensed his jaw. “There are few soldiers who are worth my attention, (L/n), fewer who have individual skills that can be praised by Supreme Leader. You are being brought to Starkiller Base because there may yet be a promotion in your future. One that will have you working closely with any defense systems of the First Order, especially those that either I or Ren will have personal use of.”

He drew closer to you with long strides. You were dizzy from the news; it was not as though you were working hard for the purpose of being recognized or for a promotion. “For the time being, until Doctor Vas clears you of any psychological issues he thinks you may have, Ren and I have been ordered by Supreme Leader to ensure that you are not stressed by any of our actions.”

“So… So what happened with… When Lord Ren…after you…. Uhm… that was… It—“

“It _won’t_ be repeated.”

 _That’s too bad,_ you thought whilst lowering your gaze. “I… Should I send you a list of the personnel I would like to assist me with the task Lord Ren has entrusted me with?”

“Yes.” His eyes wandered up and down your frame, prompting you to ask if something was the matter. “It… _pains_ me to say this, but perhaps Ren was correct… You _did_ need a little stress relief.”

 _Holy shit, they had that pre-planned!_ Which made you fear what else they could accomplish if they actually worked together.


	10. Of Names

Of Names

You sat in bed, the light on as you read through the first book that had been given to you for one of your courses. Beside you was a tablet, with which you randomly further researched certain topics. It had been some time since last you had had a personal tablet to tote around when not at your workstation. Even though it was for the purpose of education and not relaxing activities, you found yourself beyond ecstatic that you had it in general. You ran your finger along the screen, tapping to bring up the messaging center when you noticed the icon flashing.

_Do not remain awake all night. You have plenty of time to complete the course._

Your eyes darted to the sender. You blinked twice then furrowed your brow. It was sweet in a way, however the fact that Kylo Ren was aware that you were awake made you wonder. You tapped on the reply button and began typing a response.

_Going to take twenty more minutes. Can you read my mind from your quarters?_

You set the tablet aside, picked up your book, and read another two sentences before hearing a ding. You tapped it, rolling your eyes when you noticed it was a single word. _No._ You decided to finish the paragraph before composing another message to the Knight. With it being the first chapter, the topics were introductory, and many of them correlated with what you already knew. Despite this, you knew it would be best to not skip past anything just in case anything new was presented. You put the book down, pulled the tablet into your lap, and began typing.

_Are you going to explain that? Is it a Force trick of some sort? Or are you going to leave me paranoid about it?_

_Perhaps you should discuss your paranoia with Doctor Vas._

_That’s not very funny._

_Power usage; the stats are displayed on the tablet. Lights out in twenty minutes._

You wrinkled your nose. _You have the codes to shut off the power in private quarters?_

_Yes. Nineteen minutes._

You chuckled, picking up your book so that you could finish the chapter you were on. It took you less time than you had believed it would. You placed a bookmark to mark where you were at, tucked the book under your bed, and grabbed your tablet for a final time. _Finished early, so will be turning out the lights now. Night, Knight._

No response. You frowned at this fact, however still put your tablet away and shut off your lights. You then slipped under the covers, cuddling against your pillow. Fifteen minutes and you were almost asleep. The sound of your door opening then closing, however, had you tiredly blinking. You heard the familiar click and light hissing of the Knight’s helmet being removed. A knee on your mattress, his hand pushing you a little closer towards the wall so that he could climb into bed beside you.

“What are you doing?” you whispered, rolling over so that you were facing him.

“Daddy only said that _you_ need to remain in your own sleeping quarters.”

“You messaged me to see if I was awake?” You had one hand underneath your pillow and the other against your lower belly. You wanted so badly to touch him, but knew that he would be more comfortable if he was the one to initiate such contact. Kylo Ren made a soft noise of affirmation. You smiled and flexed your feet so that your toes were pointing to the end of the bed. “Do you secretly like calling General Hux ‘daddy’?”

“Your lips twitch whenever I do.” You made a noise, quite akin to a ‘huh’, at that. You had not realized that you reacted as such at his teasing. He took your chin between two fingers. “It upsets you that I ordered Addison’s execution.”

You flinched, swallowing down some saliva that was in your mouth, and then responded to him. “I respect your decision. The Resistance is… I’m just upset in general that she had to die. I do understand it, but that understanding does not make it hurt any less.” You touched Kylo Ren’s hand, holding it against you. “Can I kiss you?”

“You’re asking?”

“You seem always ready to run,” you whispered truthfully. A large part of you wished you could see his face, see his expression. It no doubt was that unsure expression that made you know one of the reasons he wore the helmet. There was a change in the way he held himself when his face was not covered. “I don’t want to give you any reason to turn away from me.”

“I’m not afraid.” Stubborn. You sighed, and he started to withdraw his hand then must have realized what he was doing. The way his grip momentarily tightened on your chin alerted to you that his frustration was forming. He started to rise, and you reached for his arm. “Don’t!”

“Just… Don’t destroy anything, please. I… I didn’t mean it like that.” Pressure that was becoming so familiar, his mind enveloping yours. “Just take out your frustration differently. Don’t destroy things.”

You held back a yelp as the Knight angrily moved onto the bed with you. His hands were on either side of your shoulders, you having rolled onto your back. The blanket was between your body and his, he between your spread legs. His mouth hungrily, violently claimed yours. You whimpered at the harshness of his kiss. Then squirmed in pleasure at the way he ran his tongue along the roof of your mouth. Kylo Ren ground his hips against yours, prompting you to arch your back off the bed to increase the friction between your bodies.

Just as you were thinking there would be less noise if the two of you moved to the floor, the Knight moved off the bed and pulled you along with him. The two of you grabbed at the other’s clothing, clumsily and forcefully stripping one another. When you were completely naked, he seized your hips and again brought you against him. You gasped at the feeling of his cock against you, the way it pressed to your lower belly and cunt. Trailing your hands along his chest, you found that you were the one shuddering.

The Knight of Ren lifted you, and you immediately wrapped your legs around him as he lowered you onto his cock. You placed your hands on his shoulders, gasping and moaning as he started to fuck you hard. He rocked his hips, and you quickly started meeting his pace. His fingers entangled themselves in your hair. He tugged your mouth tighter against himself, moving over so that he could pin you against the wall. His hands gripped both your wrists, set them against the wall, and then you felt a new pressure pinning down your arms. His hands were exploring your body, and you could not touch him in return.

You felt his hands on your hips then moving to your lower belly. Upwards, trailing over all your skin until he was holding onto your throat. You panted as he massaged the flesh he was touching. Kylo ran his hands down to your breasts and there began kneading. You were thankful that, though your arms were pinned still, you had full control of your hips. You bucked up into his thrusts, feeling his cock moving in and out of you and hearing your flesh smack his noisily.

Kylo Ren nipped at your bottom lip, seizing it between his teeth and running his tongue along it. You pressed your tongue along his flesh, and he shifted so that the two of you could properly kiss. He gripped your hips roughly, and you knew you were going to bruise. He winced against your lips. “Don’t worry. It’s fine,” you said, rolling your hips to increase both your pleasure and his. “Please don’t stop.”

In response, he lowered you onto the ground, once more pinning your wrists with his hands as he knelt between your legs. He moved your wrists into a single hand, using his other to reposition himself at your entrance. You bit down on your bottom lip, groaning as he reentered you. He set that hand against your hip, his thumb hooking to tease your outer lips. When he started to rub your clitoris, you found that you could not stifle your moans any longer. “Ah! Mmm…..fuck, fuck, fuck… Oh, yes!”

“Shh.” You could hear the smirk on his face as he hushed you. You grit your teeth and tried to do so. The Knight of Ren released your wrists, and you found him beginning to move more gently. You found this just as delightful, especially when his fingers danced along your body, caressing various portions that had you sighing in ecstasy. His mind reading skills were rather handy in the bedroom, you found, as he quickly touched each place on your body that you were wishing was being caressed.

Your lips interlocked with his as your orgasm washed over you. Your eyelids fluttered and you inhaled deeply. He continued to shift above you, to thrust as he sought his own release. It did not take him much longer. He hissed something you could not make out. It may have been your name, it could have been a swear. Either one worked for you in that moment.

“That was nice,” you said. “Like, very nice… Best stress relief ever.” He grunted, and you smiled whilst shaking your head. “Are you… Are you going to stay the night with me?”

“…fine.” You rose up onto your hands and knees then crawled towards your bed. You slipped under the blankets and moved close to the wall. Within seconds, the Knight of Ren joined you. “Comfortable?”

You reached backwards, grabbed his arm, and pulled it around yourself. “Like this, I am.” He moved even closer to you, his chest flush with your back. Kylo Ren pressed his lips to your shoulder. “Remember: you’re not allowed to destroy computers until after my current project is complete. Cafeteria tables are fine.” A puff of air; a single, silent laugh through his nose. You wished he would laugh aloud, but knew that would not happen in this case. Your hands was atop his, your thumb caressing the back of it. “Goodnight.”

“Ren.” You blinked then turned your head so that you could see the outline of his face in the darkness. “Either Kylo or Ren is fine.”

“Goodnight, Ren.” A hot puff of air, perhaps due to the fact that you had, for reasons unknown even to you, attempted to mimic the General’s voice. You snorted. “I’ll stick with Kylo since he calls you Ren.” His response was to shift his fingers up and draw yours around them. “Goodnight, Kylo.”

“Go to sleep.” You held your breath. His mouth was pressed to your shoulder and you had felt that twitch in his lips. He had almost smiled.


	11. Mounting Confusion

Mounting Confusion

You were not insulted in the least when you woke up alone. No doubt Kylo Ren had chosen a time to slip out when the General or doctor would not catch him. The message icon on your tablet was blinking. You tapped on it and read the brief good morning note from the Knight. You rolled your eyes, snickering to yourself that his tone was so formal and commanding. Telling you to tend to the tasks, informing you that General Hux had gone over the list you had sent him of First Order members you wanted for the project. The employees that had been approved had already been sent their orders by the General. Kylo Ren also mentioned that you needed to eat a more balanced diet; it seemed that Doctor Vas was keeping track to ensure you were not binge eating any sweets due to depression or stress.

“Fan-freaking-tastic,” you grumbled under your breath. You grabbed your uniform then headed for the showers. You let the water roll over your body, closing your eyes and enjoying it. It was nice to be having sex again, although you felt a little awkward that you were active with more than one guy at a time. Yet they knew about it, which made you all the more confused about the ordeal. “Focus, focus, focus,” you muttered to yourself in reference to the projects you had to handle.

You shut off the water, towel-dried, and dressed. You and two others were using the blow dryers at the same time. One of them was whistling a tune that you had heard in the past. It had been quite some time since last you had listened to the song, and you found it immediately getting stuck in your head. You hummed it as you walked down the hallway after fixing your hair. At your workstation, you clicked your tongue to the rhythm of the song as well.

Tapped your foot to the beat. Bobbed your head as you typed. Were quite thankful that Ro was not working by your side, or anyone for that matter. When General Hux checked in on you, you straightened your posture and immediately shut up. You scratched at the side of your head, feeling foolish as you knew that the General had heard you humming the tune and practically dancing in your seat to it.

“S-sorry, Sir.”

He hit the button that caused the door to close. Afterwards, General Hux drew closer to you. He set his hands on your shoulders, and your fingers froze mid-typing as he began to massage you. Your mind was in a fog. What the hell was going on? It felt fantastic, to be sure. Yet this was the General! Usually so strict and… At his quiet command, you resumed typing while he worked at the knot in your shoulders.

“You’ve been doing well in your work.”

_Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. This approval…and why do I have to feel so giddy over it?_

“You’re tensing, (y/n).” You winced, hit the wrong key, and quickly fixed the mistake. His fingers stilled. Immediately, you looked over your shoulder at him. General Hux was frowning.

“Uhm. Sorry, Sir. I just… Well, it’s _nice_ to hear such things, but… Er…”

“You’re suspicious that I have ulterior motives?” he asked without changing his expression. The man leaned forward, placing his mouth near your ear. “I want you to relax.” His mouth on your cheek, your neck, your mouth. You relaxed into his kissing, your lips moving with his.

“Sir—“

“You don’t need to be so formal. We’re alone right now.” His hands were on your thighs, massaging. Working down your legs until he was kneeling and tending to your feet. He slid off your boots then continued. You blushed, your hands darting towards your keyboard then to his shoulders then finally the armrests of your chair.

You were practically melting. “Uhm… G-General, I—“

“Still so formal.”

The fact that his voice was so level as usual wasn’t helping things. “Uhm…H…Hu… xxxx…. Ee!” You blushed at the incredulous look on his face. “Sorry… Uhm. You hit a tender spot there.”

“So you were not referring to me as Huxy?”

“Sir, I would never—“

“You may.” A kiss on the insole of your foot. You buried your face in your hands to hide your blushing face. His mouth and hands moving up your body. When the man lifted your shirt and began kissing your stomach, you felt yourself swallowing hard. He normally liked things so tidy. He was usually so formal. Now the man was messing up your uniform and telling you to call him Huxy.

You moved your hands from the armrests of your chair to the General’s shoulders. Gently pushing, you managed to get him to draw back. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just… Okay, so Kylo starts off being so intimidating and cold, whereas now he’s…still those things, but also comforting in a way. Then here you are, usually so…orderly and stern and all, and now suddenly you’re… I mean, I’m confused. And a little overwhelmed. I need to just focus on this project. We can figure things out once we get to Starkiller and—mmmff!”

Him kissing you was not what you had been intending. When you did not pull back from him, however, he deepened the kiss. Then, suddenly, he drew back. “Did you refer to Lord Ren as Kylo?” You averted your gaze. “I see. I shall have to put a lock on your door.”

His mouth began to move to yours again, and you dodged him with a shriek of, “Huxley!” That caused both of you to pause. “Uhm… General… Sir… I…”

“We’re not permitted to properly date, (y/n),” the General said, his mouth mere inches from yours. “Until Starkiller is fully functional, I do not have the time to invest in such things. If it is commitment you are worried about, you needn’t be.”

“Are you… are you giving me permission…to…to have sex with both you and Kylo?”

“For the time being,” he said, his distaste over the other man not masked. Your eyebrows drew upwards. “Neither Ren nor I will disappoint Supreme Leader Snoke by switching our focus from the tasks assigned to us to such trivial things. You do not allow our interactions to interfere with either your work or our own, and so there is no reason to not…indulge ourselves.”

“R…right now?”

“Just keep typing,” he said, a sultry smirk on his lips as he dragged your chair back towards where you could reach the keyboard. You immediately set about to doing as you were ordered, squirming a little when the General tugged down your pants and panties. He fully relieved you of the materials, hooked your legs over his shoulders, and dragged you so that your ass was on the very edge of your seat. Your typing slowed a little when his mouth met your cunt. You moaned, correcting another mistake you had started to make.

General Hux swirled his tongue against your clit, causing you to rock against him. You sighed, allowing your lips to part so that you could pant whilst finishing more corrections and alterations on one of Addison’s old files. His mouth worked tirelessly against you, and you could feel yourself drawing closer to orgasm. Rather than let you cum, however, he moved from between your legs. His hand grabbed one of the arms of the chair, and he turned the piece of furniture.

Upon being commanded, you stood and watched as General Hux relieved himself of his trousers. He sat down in your chair, told you to straddle him, and held onto your hips as you obeyed. He rolled the chair backwards, reclined it a little. You were ordered to reach past him and continue typing as he lowered you onto his cock. You moaned as you started to ride him, your fingers once more dancing along the keyboard as he set a pace that would not cause you any problems. You rolled your hips against his, fucking yourself on his swollen member.

His mouth tackled your chest through your shirt, his hands soon unbuttoning your front and drawing aside all materials that blocked him from your flesh. When he took your nipple into his mouth, you sighed contently. You quickly set about to a task that would involve little typing so that you could occasionally stroke his hair or run your hand along his chest. The first time he smacked your ass, you yelped a little. It was not overly rough, however had come as a surprise.

“Mm… Damn,” you moaned out at the third smack. You hit the enter key for the next task to start. “That feels so nice.”

General Hux pressed two fingers against your lips, thrusting them into your mouth. You sucked on them as he picked up the pace at which he was fucking you. You could feel him buck up further into you, hitting your g-spot. You groaned wantonly around those digits that were thrusting in and out of your mouth. He withdrew his fingers with a popping noise then set those saliva-coated digits against your clit. You kissed him hard as he started to pleasure you.

Without even looking up, you reached past the back of the chair, hit the enter button, and then caressed the side of his face. He was arching off the chair a little, his hips pounding hard into yours, indicating he was close to his release. “Mmm, Huxy.” A slap against your ass then his hand cupping it, tugging you more firmly against him. You gasped and panted as you were brought to orgasm. His eyes remained locked with yours, the man ejaculating heavily inside of you. Even still, the two of you continued to rock against one another until you both came down from your high.

His hands trailed along your face. It was the most tender he had been in all the time that you had known him. One last kiss on your lips then he withdrew. The two of you arranged your clothes, you hitting the enter key another time to start the last task that would be finished before lunch.

“Keep up the good work, (L/n),” he said levelly when in the doorway.

You dipped your chin in a formal nod. “Yes, Sir.” His eyes swept over you then he turned and was gone. You ran your hands through your hair, ensured that task was complete, and finally logged out so that you could head to the cafeteria.

_**Gym; 1930** _

It was unusually empty in the gym, however you knew why this was. Kylo Ren, sans helmet, had decided that he wanted to kill a few of the dummies that were present. You could not help but wonder if General Hux would be upset with the fact that technically another part of his ship was destroyed by the Knight. You watched him slice through another of the dummies with his lightsaber as you finished your crunches. You then shifted into a new position, beginning your push-ups.

“Have you been cleared to be issued a weapon yet?”

You blinked at the question, caught a little off-guard. Without pausing in your workout, you replied, “No.”

“Hmm.”

“My security clearance is strictly for dealing with the various systems aboard this ship. General Hux informed me that I will be fully reinstated when we reach Starkiller Base. I will have a weapon then.”

“When is your next appointment with Doctor Vas?”

It was a little strange, the fact that he was the one to begin a conversation. All the same, you weren’t opposed to it. On the contrary, you quite enjoyed the fact that he wished to speak to you at all. Especially after he had dipped into your mind and learned that you and the General had fucked while you were supposed to be working. Kylo had given you a strange look, his eyes sweeping over your body and especially your face, before returning to the dummies.

“Tomorrow. Are you going to spend the night again, or… I mean, I won’t be offended if—“ He kicked a dummy rather than slice through it. You winced as it went flying across the room. “You are mad then.”

“No.” You squinted your eyes, not quite believing him. “It was not a lie. For the time being, we are not afforded the luxury of—“

“I don’t even know what to think about it,” you blurted out, cutting the man off. Kylo Ren at last paused in his training and looked over at you. You had moved into a sitting position, your legs crossed. “I have _never_ even dated two guys at the same time, and now… I mean… The sex.” _Mmm, the sex,_ your mind supplied. Judging by his lips twitching and the pressure that left you a second later, he had been reading your thoughts. You ducked your head. “It’s pretty confusing.”

“We’re all…satisfied for now.”

“That’s just it: for now. When it’s not okay to be sharing anymore though, someone’s going to get hurt. Or all of us. It’s confusing and a little stressful.”

“I am sure that as long as you do not call Hux ‘daddy’ again, things will go smoothly.”

“In terms of… Doctor Vas not finding out?” A quick look in your direction then Kylo Ren activated his lightsaber. You watched him cut a dummy in half. “You know… I’m going to need at least _one_ of those in a little bit.”

A thoughtful expression on his face for a fleeting second. “Attack me.”

“Are you crazy?” you deadpanned. He repeated the words, and you gawked at him. “No! You’re… You’re… Just….intimidating. A tall. And perfectly capable of incapacitating me without _any_ effort put into it.”

“Attack me,” he said for a third time. You awkwardly stood, eyeing the lightsaber, which he shut off and threw to the side. He could summon it towards himself with the Force at any time, however the gesture put your mind a little at ease. You shook your hands in the air a little, trying to figure out how best to go about attacking him. “Don’t think. Just attack me.”

 _What the hell ever,_ you said to yourself as you pressed with one foot and lunged towards him. Unsurprisingly, the Knight of Ren easily dodged your attack. You spun around with a kick, which he batted away with an arm. He then twisted his wrist, grabbing at your limb and tugging you closer to him. A hand near your throat. Then he pushed you away and repeated the command for you to attack him.

This time, you aimed for a lower target. Keeping low, you managed to evade the first of his attempts to grab you. The second time, however, he was accustomed to the height difference and seized you by your arm. The Knight flipped you onto your back. You landed on the training mat with an _oomph_ then groan.

“You’re not even trying, are you?” you asked him. Your eyes wandered along his frame as he circled you in a rather predatory manner. You would hate to be his enemy. He paused, his full attention shifting to your face. “What?”

Rather than answer you, he turned and started to walk away. You instantly leapt to your feet, ran towards him, and made to grab at his wrist. The man turned so that he wound up his back against yours. “That was much faster. Were _you_ even trying?”

“I… I had thought I was,” you said. You could feel him turn, his chest to your back. “H-hey… Are you going to spend the night with me, Kylo?” Your arms at your sides, you felt his hands overlap yours. Touching without holding. His response caused your heart to hiccup. That _No_ making your head spin in shock. His mouth drawing nearer to your ear. And the whispered, ‘Daddy is putting on a lock; the doctor is watching at night’ relaxed your racing pulse. “Was he watching last night?”

“No. But someone reporting moaning coming from your room.” You chuckled a little, apologizing. “There’s no need to apologize.” Your fingers twitched towards his, and he bent his fingers so that they trailed between each of yours. “You won’t be torn apart.”

“Hmm?” You startled at his words, your entire body stiffening.

“It’s what you fear; that you’ll be torn apart by continuing to interact with Hux and myself. You won’t be.” His hands withdrew from yours, and the Knight of Ren swerved around you. He retrieved his helmet from a chair that was situated by the door, placed it onto his head, and left you alone in the gym.

“Both of them…are so _fucking_ confusing,” you said breathlessly, allowing yourself to sit down.


	12. Emotions

Emotions

You were grateful that Doctor Vas was quite like Doctor Wiu in the respect that whenever you would visit for a session, you were offered a drink. This time you accepted, the cappuccino warm to your mouth. This was welcome, as the air in the ship had been extra cool all day; perhaps this had much to do with the fact that you had worked in a different workstation than your usual. The staff around you was accustomed to the cool temperature, whereas you found yourself rubbing away goosebumps throughout the day. Now you were settled against the chair that was closest to the door with your legs drawn up onto the cushion. You held onto the handle of the cup, your other hand against the warmth of the other side.

“Please do not take this the wrong way—you look…a lot better than I have ever seen you. A little tired, perhaps, but in good spirits.”

“The coffee is helping,” you said, lifting said beverage to your lips and allowing the warmth to fill your mouth then run down your throat. The heat radiated through your body, and you found yourself relaxing further against the cushion on which you were leaning. “Also, today I was able to see Livry, Adder and Haddison again. Livry did not know Addison, however… Well, Haddison and Addison were good chums, in part because their names were similar.

“The three of us went through training together. Our instructors often mixed the two, and so they were referred to be their first names. Addison was stationed on this ship before me, and then after around a month she was transferred to a different portion… We hardly saw each other afterwards, given that we had different work shifts. From time to time we had projects we worked on together. Hearing about her death… It hit home a bit, though I support the decision of the First Order. Being able to speak about it with Haddison and Adder… That helped a lot more than I thought it would.”

“I am pleased to hear this, (y/n),” Doctor Vas said, a genuine smile playing at his lips. He was more timid overall as a psychologist, and you found yourself endeared to him for this fact. He allowed his expressions to be easily read, whereas Doctor Wiu had been more guarded. You appreciated the help that both men provided all the same. Doctor Vas opened your file folder, scanned through a few documents, and then lifted his gaze to you. “I was thinking, if you feel ready, that we attempt to lower your dose of Duloxetine. I do not believe you are at the point where we can take you off of it completely, however you seem to be finding other methods of coping with stress.”

“Uhm… That’s fine. I only worry that it will have ill effects on my work.”

“You’ll be closely monitored. The reduction will be gradual; I would not put you at risk for a violent or depressive episode, you need not worry.” He ran a hand along his jaw. “Also, I would like you to have another physical done. It’s best to keep all your stats monitored. If you have time after our session, there is one appointment open. This will prevent you from having to take time out of your workday. I know things are busy for you.”

“I would greatly appreciate that,” you said against the rim of your cup. It was nearly empty, and you set the glass on a small table that had been placed between you and Doctor Vas previously. The psychologist brought his tablet to his lap, tapped on a few things, and then informed you that the appointment was confirmed. You thanked him then returned your attention to the session that was currently occurring; the two of you still had a little over fifteen minutes to work with. “Thank you again for the coffee.”

The man smiled, chuckling a little to himself, and said that you were quite welcome. “You seem more comfortable working alongside General Hux and Lord Ren as of late. I have to ask… Have the three of you been sexually active?”

“Uhm…” You were caught off-guard by the question, and feared your initial response had given you away. “I… I wouldn’t know much about their sex lives, Sir.”

“I see. It says in your file that you will be issued a weapon once you arrive at Starkiller. Perhaps you should begin scheduling practice. It’s monitored, so that shouldn’t be an issue.”

“That sounds like a reasonable idea, Sir.”

“Your diet has been overall healthy, however you might want to cut back on dairy—you’ve been consuming more than usual. Any food cravings?”

“None at all. It’s mostly been whatever is quickest to grab. I’ll try to be more conscientious of what I eat.”

“Have you slept with the General or Lord Ren more?”

“The General, I thi…n…k…” You avoided his gaze, ducking your head and silently swearing at yourself for being so easily tricked.

“Are they each aware that you are intimate with the other?” Doctor Vas asked, unabashed. He was making a note in his file. You made a soft noise, which had him glancing up at you. “(Y/n), sex can be a weapon, I hope you understand this.”

“Uhm…what?”

“They are aware that you are sleeping with the other. Given their competitive nature, I assume that they display jealous behaviors upon discovering the other has recently touched you?” You blinked, some of the color draining from your face. “It is a dangerous position to be in. You are being submissive to both, and each wants to be the dominant person in your life.”

“So… Don’t have sex with them?”

“Clearly when Doctor Wiu and I suggested that, it wasn’t taken into consideration for very long.” He sighed heavily, shaking his head. “After your physical today… I’m going to have all three of you in my office tomorrow following your normal work schedule. Please do not engage in any sexual encounter at least for that long. If either of them seems displeased by this—never you mind that, I will include it in my message to them informing them of the appointment. Come now. No need to be late for your physical.”

“Yes, Sir.”

More blood work and another pap smear. You squeezed your legs tightly together when it was all done. No matter how many times you had sex—well, that speculum wasn’t any less uncomfortable. Upon informing the physician that you were sexually active, he had ordered a urine test as well. This was provided, and you were informed before the end of the appointment that you were not pregnant. The thought had never occurred to you, and yet you found yourself mulling it over in your mind. Neither of them used a condom. You weren’t on the pill. It was pure chance or luck that had prevented you from being impregnated. What would have happened had you been with child?

 _I wouldn’t even have known whose it was,_ you said to yourself. A second later, your mind was providing: _You dirty slut._ To which you buried your face in your hands and thought, _I know, I know. Fucking shit._ You hit yourself lightly in the head. _Get yourself, girl!_

_**Following Day; After Work; Office of Doctor Vas** _

A third chair had been brought into the room for the purpose of having you sit in the middle and Kylo Ren and General Hux sit on either side of you. Doctor Vas was in his usual place, the man looking the slightest bit unnerved at being in the same location as the Knight of Ren. You glanced over at Kylo Ren a few times, wondering why he could not take off his helmet for the man before the psychologist had a heart attack. Instead, he kept up the imposing attire he normally wore, although he did at least lower the hood. The Knight had also set his lightsaber atop the desk, out of reach—though not of the Force, which everyone in the room was aware of.

General Hux had a tight-lipped frown on his face. You, already feeling like the weak-link in the chain that was the sexual escapades of the three of you, could hardly meet his eye when he did deign to look in your direction.

Doctor Vas cleared his throat then, addressing both men, asked, “Were either of you attempting to impregnate (L/n) as a means of achieving an upper-hand against the other?”

You gawked. You felt your jaw drop, your eyes widen, and your eyebrows rise. General Hux narrowed his eyes, stiffly hissing out that he would never resort to such low tricks. Kylo Ren, whose facial reaction was quite obviously masked by his helmet, informed the doctor that he had attempted no such thing.

“Were either of you the least bit concerned that she _could_ become impregnated?”

“She’s…pregnant?” General Hux asked, his voice more breathless and quiet than you had ever heard. Kylo Ren merely turned his head, looking at either you or the General, perhaps both—you could not honestly tell.

You shook your head and replied indignantly, “No! No! I’m not! I had a physical last night. I’m _not_ pregnant!” You pressed both hands against your forehead, staring at the psychologist. “Doctor—“

“Hush, please, (y/n).” He directed his eyes first at Kylo Ren then General Hux. “Could you please answer the question.”

“I had not put in much consideration,” General Hux admitted.

Three sets of eyes, your included, traveled to Kylo Ren. He was quiet, which was not necessarily unusual. “Lord Ren?” Doctor Vas said. The Knight responded at last that the idea of pregnancy had slipped his mind completely. You blinked a few times before remembering his aversion to being touched in general; it was not likely he often found himself having sex—why should such a matter as pregnancy bother him in the least? “Very well. In this case, I am going to recommend it that (Y/n) be given birth control… She will begin at the start of her next cycle, which should be…”

His voice trailed off as he looked at your file, and you found yourself embarrassingly clearing your throat. “In two to four days,” Kylo Ren intoned. You slapped a hand over your face around the area of your eyes. Curse him and his mind reading.

“I suggest she not engage in intercourse until after she is on the birth control for at least a few days.”

And that, you thought the following day as you were on your knees while both your hands and General Hux’s worked the length of his cock, was why you were thankful handjobs and blowjobs were invented. Not to mention cunnilingus, which the General had already graciously performed. When he was close to cumming, he drew your face nearer, and you took him into your mouth. Your tongue ran along his shaft, and he lost it at that point. You promptly swallowed then stood as your superior readjusted his clothing. Lunch break would be over in two minutes, and you really needed to get back to work.

Within an hour of being at work, you glanced towards your left. Between your chair and your coworker’s stood Kylo Ren. His presence caused the others in the room to cower. You said nothing of this, knowing that the Knight was fully aware of the effect he had on others. “Lord Ren,” you said, swiveling your chair so that you could face him. You bit back a smile at the way everyone tensed, fearing that you had bad news that would set him off. The Knight of Ren turned his head in your direction. “The last of the files and systems that Addison worked with will be finished before the day is completed.” He did not verbally respond, instead turning back to look at the screen ahead of him. All the same, you knew he was pleased.

The tension of the room dissipated the longer he was present without any ill news. You coworkers fell into the routine of typing away or running programs to check that all systems were properly working despite the Knight’s presence. Twice you had them perform mock attacks on the system, the second time being a failure—which was a good thing, you noted. The weakness that had been present during the first mock attack had been successfully dealt with.

Kylo Ren remained in the workstation even when the others around you were leaving for dinner. You relaxed in your chair, watching the man in your peripheral. You were not sure how to engage him in conversation, or if he even wanted to talk. The silence was in no way uncomfortable. Still, when he faced your direction, you found yourself saying, “You listen to my thoughts and memories, so I know you… You heard about Doctor Vas saying that sex can be a weapon.” He reached up, removing his helmet and setting it on the console in front of you. You stared at the metal object for some time. “Maybe that’s how I’ll be torn apart…” You glanced up at his face and found that he had averted his gaze. “Kylo… I… Neither you nor General Hux are being entirely forthcoming with your feelings. Maybe that’s a guy thing, but given the nature of our…relationship? Well, I wish you would both say at least _something_. Rather than just fuck me whenever I’ve spoken with or been near the other.”

“Supreme Leader does not wish for you to be upset,” he said in that bored drawl he often used. You stared at him with a frown. “Perhaps you should eat dinner.” He reached for his helmet, pausing only when you sighed and leaned back in your chair again.

“You know, Kylo, I… If the two of you _want_ an open relationship right now, I might be able to deal with that…if we’re all honest. Because this… This passive-aggressive shit the two of you are doing… It’s fucking confusing.” The Knight of Ren stared off into the distance. He was likely considering your words, however you could not be one hundred percent positive either way. “Look…do you want… Here, lock the door.”

Being on your knees for a second time that day, and with a different man than the first, was not anything new. Which did confuse you, however as you both felt and saw the Knight relaxing and panting as you pumped him and ran your mouth along his balls, you decided that it was worth all the mixture of emotions floating through you.

That is to say, until after dinner and the entire workday was done, at which point you strolled into General Hux’s office and demanded that he called in the Knight of Ren. Your superior frowned, yet obliged. When Kylo entered the room, you continued to stand with your arms crossed over your chest. You indicated that he should stand beside the General. Kylo Ren watched you through his helmet for several seconds longer then did so. You not so much asked as demanded that he remove his helmet. You had to admit that you were a little surprised he did this as well, holding the item in front of himself.

“I need to know something. Are the two of you like _this_ in front of Snoke too? Vying for his approval, his attention? Because I got to thinking about today… I don’t know what to do.” They each shifted a little on their feet, however neither lost face completely. “Alright. Can you put in a request to Supreme Leader that I need a word with him?”

“You…”

“…what?” General Hux finished, clearly taken aback.

“I _don’t_ know how to deal with this. My loyalties are to the First Order. If I disappoint the Supreme Leader, I will have let both my family and myself down, and… And that’s all bullshit reasons, because really I don’t know what the hell else to do but ask the Supreme Leader what he wants me to do regarding the two of you.”

“You needn’t bother him with such a… _trivial_ matter,” General Hux intoned in unison with Kylo Ren saying something quite similar.

“Trivial? Trivial!? Fuck you and fuck you!” you said, pointing to one then the other. “I have work to do. Don’t fucking talk to me unless it’s about that, because _that_ is the reason I am stationed here. Not to be your little fuck toy, or your makeshift rope for your game of power-play-tug-of-war. For work!”

You turned sharply on your heel and began marching out the door. But not before hearing Kylo Ren mutter, presumably to General Hux, that you had started your period. You whipped right back around, gave them both the middle finger, and finished storming out. Your aching uterus was telling you that you didn’t need this shit right that moment.

A day passed, during which time you had started your birth control and also took some ibuprofen to ease some of the pain from your cramps. Neither of the men made an appearance. Which you had demanded of them, yet still… You found yourself brooding. You completed your work as usual, however with less enthusiasm. You thought that perhaps you should apologize for speaking to them as you had. They were your superiors. Yet you had been physically involved with them, and they had… Admittedly, part of your temper from the previous night had been the horror of having started your menstrual cycle and the realization that that _could_ have happened—thought thankfully hadn’t—while the General had been eating you out. The confusion over your relationship with them wasn’t anything to sneeze about either.

 _No,_ you decided. You would _not_ be apologizing. Just as those thoughts flowed through your mind, you heard someone enter the room. You blinked upon seeing a random Stormtrooper, who shakily held out an envelope with your name on it.

“Thank…you?” you said as the Stormtrooper awkwardly shuffled away. You found that the envelope was closed but not properly sealed, which allowed you to easily remove the card that was inside. _After the ran…_ the front read. You opened the card and found a pop-up rainbow. _…comes the rainbow._

_What the shit?_ you thought before mumbling to yourself the small hand-written portion of the note. “Sorry you’re bleeding. –Kylo : ( ” You stared, flabbergasted. “How the fuck do I even respond to this?”


	13. Sass and Misuse

Sass and Misuse

You were confused, frustrated, and a little bit flattered. General Hux and Kylo Ren were competitive about _everything_ , and apparently your period was no different. The card from Kylo Ren was followed by a box of chocolates from the General. A coffee in a traveling mug from the Knight. An adhesive heating strip from the General. A massage booked for after dinner, followed by a pedicure and manicure. You weren’t sure which man had ordered which thing. You knew you would enjoy both, however… You did not want to be part of their tug-of-war-power-play game.

Your eyes darted to the card that was still on your desk. You did not want to seem ungrateful. Though it was part of their competition, the gestures themselves were nice. You needed to confront them—but only after you were done getting your massage and mani-pedi.

Unfortunately, you found yourself to be quite the puddle of goo after being pampered. You were on your bed, sighing and feeling fantastic. You reached over with one of your hands, patting around until you were able to find and seize your tablet. You pulled it up onto your belly. With a groan, you opened the messaging center. You typed a brief message addressed to both Kylo Ren and General Hux asking both to come to your room. You did not feel like getting up. Really, you did not feel like addressing the situation, however knew it needed to happen. Sooner was better than later.

General Hux was the first to arrive, although Kylo Ren was in your room as well within minutes. Both of them stood near the entrance of the room. Perhaps they were ready to run if need be. You _had_ yelled at them the last time you had had any personal contact, you reminded yourself. You took a deep breath, held it in for a moment, and then released it.

“First… Okay, before I get worked up: thank you both,” you said, sitting up though you wished you could simply lie there forever. They both gave a curt nod. “Now, as much as I appreciate being pampered, I need you to…stop. Because, well, I feel like this has become yet another competition between you two. I’m menstruating. My uterus is protesting that I didn’t get pregnant, and I’m hormonal, and I’m easily turned on, and—stop looking at me like that. I do want you guys to tone it down.”

“Supreme Leader Snoke has agreed to speak with you tomorrow,” Kylo Ren said. You stared at his masked face, muttered out a hesitant _thank you_ , and tried to wrap your brain around the fact that you were going to be speaking to the Supreme Leader. Silence between the three of you, broken when that modulated voice chimed in with: “How long do you bleed for?”

“Get the fuck out of my room,” you snapped, pointing to the door. The two men exited without protest. Though you were shaking your head, you found yourself smiling a little.

_**The Next Day; Before Supreme Leader** _

If you could have had one thing, it would have been someone there holding your hand. The hologram of the Supreme Leader was quite imposing. Much larger than you. General Hux and Kylo Ren had both escorted you to the chambers, however left you to confront the man alone. You tried to relax your breathing, feeling as though you were about to hyperventilate. It would have been much less stressful had you been confronted with twenty Kylo Rens throwing lightsaber fits.

“S-Supreme Leader,” you managed to say with a half-bow of respect. That hologram stared at you without changing expression. “I… In terms of how to handle General Hux and Lord Ren, I am at…a complete loss.”

“Put between two destructive forces, you will find that you either learn to harness that power or else reach the point of obliteration.” You dropped your eyes to the ground then looked back up at the hologram’s face. “Once you assess all potential damage, you will learn how best to handle the situation.”

“To…pick the path that leads to…the least amount of destruction?”

“Do not allow your personal matters to interfere with the productivity of the First Order. Kylo Ren and General Hux have obligations to greater purposes.”

“I understand that, Supreme Leader, and that is why… I seek your advice so that… So that I do not cause any issues with the productivity of the First Order. Both General Hux and Lord Ren are my superiors, and their rivalry is anything but a secret. I feel as though I am adding more fuel to the fire. Would… Am I mistaken that I would cause less damage by requesting a transfer?”

“Even if you choose to run, you may still be sought. Most importantly, I will not allow _sentiment_ to enter into the equation; where the Empire failed, the First Order will succeed.” As though that was all the patience he had for your predicament, the hologram flickered then disappeared.

You attempted to collect yourself as best you could then turned and walked towards the door. You found that both General Hux and Kylo Ren were waiting for you, and you avoided both their stares. Continuing on past them, you made your way to the elevator then returned to your workstation. There you sat, staring blankly at the screen in front of you. The Supreme Leader was correct in the fact that you could not run from your problems no matter how much you wished so. And the amount of destruction that would occur based on your current position could only be determined once you started to gain control of matters. To assess how to handle the two destructive forces that were seeking you in their course of destroying one another.

A large part of you wished he had played favorites and told you which of the two to remain with. A scapegoat for your choice. You set your hands against the keyboard and began to furiously type. The Supreme Leader had been clear that he did not wish your personal matters to interfere with your work, and you would not allow that to occur. Still, you could not help but feel as though you were in a game with General Hux and Kylo Ren. They tossed your life back and forth, keeping it out of your hands at every turn. Your opinion mattered though, you told yourself. You could not let yourself fall prey to their dangerous game.

 _As great as the sex is, maybe it is time to stop,_ you thought as you scanned through some received data. _Doctor Wiu and Doctor Vas both have valid points. Starkiller Base is larger, so maybe… Even if I don’t run from them, I can at least have more space. Just throw myself into work. Become a mindless drone for the First Order. Sentiment… In the end, if it came down to expressing emotions so openly, neither Kylo nor Hux would do so. It’s weakness in the Supreme Leader’s eyes… To have such…sentiment or compassion…_

That night, walking down the corridor towards your quarters, you did not realize that you were passing by the man until you heard his voice. “Supreme Leader is displeased. You are starting to act on emotions rather than logic.”

“At least I’m not cutting through computers while I do that,” you said, casting a semi-friendly smile in his direction to show that the jab was not entirely malicious in nature. Kylo Ren paused in his steps, you mimicking the action almost immediately. “You’re his perfect balance of Light and Darkness, Lord Ren. I won’t do anything to ruin that.”

“You’re choosing…the General?”

“I’m choosing myself,” you said then resumed walking. His footfalls did not return, and you found that you were alone in your departure. In a way it made your chest feel rather heavy. On that same note, you felt almost relieved. His presence would only make it that much harder to walk away. Because, as that pressure lifted from your mind to indicate that he was no longer in your head, you both knew that you were not choosing yourself. You were choosing the First Order, deciding to become a mindless tool for the organization.

_**Two Days Later** _

You saw nothing of either the General or Knight of Ren as you proceeded, robotically, through your tasks. You attempted to return to life before the ‘daddy incident’, as you had dubbed it in your head. Complete your daily tasks, visit the gym, and release some tension with target practice. The difference now was that you also had the courses you had been assigned, and your appointments with Doctor Vas were not to be missed. You continued with your regime of birth control, not wishing to screw with your body more by quitting so soon after beginning.

“You’re…cutting ties with the both of them?” Doctor Vas asked, his tone both uncertain and scolding. You pressed your lips into a thin line, eyeing the cup of steaming coffee that was on the table in front of you. The vapor rose higher into the air. “Do you care to explain your motives?”

“Neither of them would give me the time of day if it weren’t for the other. I’m just some tool in their power play, and I’m…so… _drained_ because of it. The General expects order in everything, and the only reason I am living up to his standards is because I can compartmentalize, for the most part, my job and my personal life. When it comes to Lord Ren… If it wasn’t for the General taking such an interest in me, I would have remained invisible and insignificant to him. I had thought about this all before, yet it never really had a huge impact until… Until all the emotions came tumbling down on top of me.”

“I won’t deny that this is likely true in terms of their initial evaluation of you. However, I find it unlikely that they would be continuing to pursue you if something else hadn’t clicked with them. There is something more about you that interests them, and…” He paused, looking over some of Doctor Wiu’s handwritten notes. “You don’t like to be dominated. Hmm. Are you feeling dominated by the two?” You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. “You’re fleeing rather than confronting the fact that you feel as though your existence is being swallowed by them. At the beginning of our session, you admitted to removing yourself from any social activities so that you could…ah! Here… So that you could, ‘become a mindless drone,’ is what you said.”

“Look, I know I’m here so that you can psychoanalyze me, but just stop, okay?” You heaved a sigh, your eyes traveling up to the ceiling. “Love is such a trivial thing to the both of them. I cannot be in that kind of relationship. It’s so…tiring. I’m tired.”

“You’re depressed?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did these feelings worsen or improve after you separated yourself from the General and Lord Ren?”

“We’ll arrive at Starkiller tomorrow.”

“You’re avoiding the question, (y/n).”

You shrugged, not really caring all that much for sticking to the topic. “I’ll be very busy… I do miss them, I do. But… Their obligations…their loyalties… I am just a…blip on their radars. They aim to defeat the Resistence. Lord Ren also wishes to locate Skywalker. Almost everything could take them away from me even if I tried to stay with them. They would never allow themselves to form a deep attachment. A weakness, sentimental drivel that caused the Empire to fall. Supreme Leader Snoke has already voiced his views on such things, and his Knight and General are not going to do anything that would displease him.”

“You’re removing yourself from a position wherein they might be tempted to do otherwise,” he said in a quiet voice. Your attention whipped onto him, onto his shocked expression. “You’re tempted to do otherwise.”

“Are you going to report me?” you asked, goosebumps popping up on your flesh. You felt a tingling run up and down your spine.

“I don’t know.”

Your session with the psychologist ended there. You returned to your room, where you pulled your course books onto your bed so that you could begin to study. You found that you could not sleep, and so continued to learn the materials throughout the course of the night. When the ship landed on Starkiller Base, you set aside all items so that you could pack what was necessary for you to work. Your hand hesitated at the sight of the card Kylo Ren had sent to you just days before. You rolled your eyes as you stuffed it in your bag along with your tablet. You could always get rid of it later.

 _Two months here,_ you reminded yourself. In those two months, there were many things that needed to be altered with the various systems of the base. The weaponry was not your concern; it was the base’s defense that you specialized in. _I need to find a way to enhance my own defense… Stupid… They’re you’re superiors, (y/n)! A good fuck is all fine and dandy, but… What the hell was I thinking? I wasn’t thinking… Emotionally vulnerable. I should have listened to Doctor Wiu._

_**Three Days Later** _

You had been reporting to Captain Phasma in regards to all progress that was made. The General and Knight had both continued to have their hands-off approach with you. Thus, composing a message to General Hux to relay information regarding one of the projects you were running gave you pause. You stared blankly at the screen, at the recipient line. General Hux. _So formal,_ his voice rang in your head.

 _I’m starting to see the appeal in just bashing through everything with a lightsaber,_ you thought bitterly, setting your fingers to the keys. You included a number of attachments to show the statistics he would require in the report you were submitting. You had been informed just that morning that your promotion would be put into place in under two days’ time. The full details of that promotion had at last been disclosed, and yet there was no backing out. You would be working with any and all ships boarded by either General Hux or Kylo Ren to ensure all defense systems ran smoothly. There would be no getting away from them as you had hoped to. _What the hell is Supreme Leader thinking? It isn’t healthy for the two to be acting this way… Fighting over some low peon of the First Order… Stupid, stupid, stupid, stu—_

“You think…loud.”

“Lord Ren,” you responded stiffly, signing the message and submitting it to your superior. “I trust that things have been to your liking.”

“(Y/n).” You shyly turned around and regarded that cold mask of his. You wondered what sort of expression his face wore. “Don’t be afraid.”

“Easy for you to say. You and him both. So easy for you guys to say.” He held a hand up behind himself, and you heard the locks clicking into place. You rose from your chair, walking sideways in retreat, your gaze never leaving him. “Stay there.” This you said when he took two strides in your direction. He obliged, however he watched you through his mask. “You’re scaring me.”

In response to this, he at last removed the helmet, allowing it to drop to the floor with a clunk as he moved his arms to his sides. His expression was neutral with a tinge of hurt ready to show. You could see this in his eyes, which caused you to lower your gaze. You wrapped your arms around yourself then took a hesitant step in his direction. Another. More until there was little distance between the two of you. If he had wanted to, he could have used the Force to pull you to him. The fact that he never once attempted to do so helped to calm your nerves just a little.

“I know I can’t run from either of you,” you said quietly. You still could not meet his gaze, which you could feel upon you. You watched his feet instead. “I’m just… I am trying to take care of me. Trying to figure out… You keep telling me I’m different, but maybe I don’t want to be.”

“That’s not it. You don’t feel as though you’re strong enough.”

“Not when dealing with the two of you, certainly.” His feet were not moving at all. Your eyes traveled a little further up to his fingers, which twitched every now and again as he continued to stand there in front of you. “It’s hard to remain…logical when I’m near either of you. I don’t want to disappoint Supreme Leader.”

“Is that all?” he asked, and you could feel him peering into your mind. You swallowed down your shame as best you could, feeling your entire body beginning to tremble. “You do not fear disappointing Supreme Leader as much as you’re afraid to disappoint either the General or me.”

“Do you feel safe here?”

“If you mean… I’m not scared of you right this second, no.”

One of his hands lifted, hovering near your body but never quite touching until it was at your neck. You closed your eyes at the feel of that glove touching your flesh. It was familiar, the way it pressed against your windpipe. Not enough to crush it, simply enough for you to feel it. You tilted your head back, and the Knight pressed harder.

“You want me to hurt you.”

“No… This doesn’t hurt me. You know that. You know what you would have to do to hurt me,” you managed to say each time his grip would loosen before it pressed tightly to you. He was going to leave a mark, and you could care less.

Kylo Ren took a step forward, his hand pressing tighter to your throat until you stepped backwards. In this way he managed to back you towards the wall. Once your back hit against the metal, the Knight of Ren trailed his hand down, lifting the other so that both his limbs were able to tug your pants off your hips. His movements were fast. Before you knew it, he had freed himself as well and had you pinned against the wall, thrusting into you. His mouth hovered near yours as you gasped. Your eyelids fluttered, and his eyes were roaming along your face. Watching you.

He bucked up into you against, and you grabbed at his shoulders. You panted heavily as he continued to fuck you. Your eyes moved to his when some clarity returned to your mind. Your noses touched along his, your breath mingling with his breath. Neither of you pressed further to kiss. You simply remained in that same proximity until the Knight of Ren shuddered as he ejaculated.

“You won’t be torn apart,” he said when you and he were in the process of fixing your clothing.

You glanced at his face. “You keep saying that, but… What if even you can’t stop it?” Instead of answering you verbally, you noticed he reached into his robe. Your eyes dropped to the square, a folded-up note, which he slipped into your hand. He watched as you began unfolding the sheet. You had to do a double-take.

“You can’t… You can’t just draw a sad face to give to me at random,” you said, your mind racing. “You just… Seriously?”

_: ( - Kylo_

“This is just… I don’t know how to respond to this.”

“Yes.” You frowned, holding onto the sheet as you looked up at his face. His eyes met yours, his expression informing you that he was ready for the challenge. “Exactly. Exactly!”

“You are…You’re…. You’re—“

“A jerk-face?” A satisfied smirk on his lips.

“A snarky little jerk-face, yes,” you hissed with narrowed eyes. You could feel your cheeks heating up. It was not fair that he could win an argument with you by handing you a sheet of paper with a sad face on it. You would not let that be it. Marching over to your work desk, you grabbed out a pen, uncapped it, and drew on the opposite side of the paper. You then thrust the sheet into his gloved hand.

Kylo Ren’s eyes drifted to what you had drawn.

_ >: | -(Y/n)_

“Is this supposed to be a perturbed face?”

“Is it _supposed_ to be? It _is_ a perturbed face.” He snorted. You glowered, snatched the paper from him, and ripped the sheet into many little pieces. You then threw those pieces above your head so that they rained down upon both you and the Knight of Ren. “There.”

“That doesn’t solve anything,” he said smoothly.

 _You’re such a fucking sass-queen,_ you thought bitterly. He never failed to have a comeback for whatever was said to him. It was no wonder his arguments back and forth with General Hux could last for so long at a single time.

“It relieves a bit of stress,” you said at last, attempting to put as much attitude into your words as you dared with the man.

He nodded curtly. “I’ll send you more.” 

You stood there confused as the Knight retrieved his helmet from the floor. He replaced it on his head then strode out of the room. You shook your head, returned to the computer, and started to run another scan. Within seconds your message icon was flashing. Believing it to be a reply from the General, you clicked on it.

_: (  
You can’t rip this one.   
-Kylo : ) _

“…that snarky little jerk-face is so pleased with himself…” you said through gritted teeth. You started to type up your response.

_Can still put it in the trash bin.  
-(Y/n) -_- _

_Rather cruel. All it ever did was look at you.  
-Kylo : ( _

_All messages from workstations are sent to my inbox for surveillance purposes.  
What the two of you are doing is a misuse of the messaging center for personal.  
-General Hux_

You tensed at the message that was addressed to both you and Kylo.

_: ( -Kylo_

“Fucking sass-queen,” you muttered to yourself, though you were hardly surprised that the Knight had responded to the message. You could only imagine the General was shaking his head and cursing Ren under his breath.


	14. Unprofessional Conduct

Unprofessional Conduct

_Refrain from unprofessional conduct, Ren.  
-General Hux._

_Quite the hypocrite, aren’t we, Huxley?  
-Kylo_

You massaged your eyes with the heels of your hands. This was one of those incidents in which you wished the Knight had not been able to read your mind. You shook your head stared at the screen. The message icon was not flashing, which meant that General Hux had believed the Knight of Ren did not deserve a response. Instead, the next message you received was the General responding to the report you had sent to him. He was satisfied with the progress of things, and wished for you to keep him up to date over the course of the week, during which time a lot of upgrades on the defense of the base would be complete.

Your reply to him was short, curt. Yes, Sir. You bit down on your bottom lip as you sent it. Did he like being called Huxley, you wondered. Or had he preferred Huxy? You ran your hands through your hair, resting them against the back of your neck as you leaned in your chair. There had been something…kind when he had asked you to refer to him by either of those names. Intimate. Despite what they said, both Kylo Ren and General Hux were becoming emotionally attached. Which scared the crap out of you, if you were to be honest.

It was not that you had commitment issues, per se. You were very committed to your job in the First Order, for one thing. But _two_ men? Both of whom you felt a deep connection with. Their rivalry caused you to feel as though you were to pick a side on more than just the level of a personal relationship. It could very well lead to your professional life being destroyed.

Rolling your eyes, you pushed out of your chair and made your way towards the gym. It would be the most productive way to blow off some steam. Get a workout, keep in shape. Why the hell not?

You started out with doing some stretches. Others in the gym were in various portions of their own routines. A number of new faces; you barely had time to socialize on Starkiller. Livry, Adder, and Haddison had remained aboard the Finalizer, which left you attempting to figure out who from your past you could reconnect with. It was not a simple thing to keep your sanity. No one appealed to you in the end, though currently you found yourself remembering some people from the cafeteria. That man deciding which weights to use had assisted with one of your projects two days ago. You did not approach him either, opting instead to move to one of the dummies.

It felt good to beat the living shit out of something…that wasn’t living, actually. A few who had noticed your level of aggression moved away, deciding it better to complete their exercises further away from you.

 _Call me Huxley. Call me Kylo. But it’s all so **fucking** trivial, is it?_ A sharp jab at the dummy’s head. “Fuckers,” you growled under your breath, punching the dummy in the chest then kicking it in the side. _Goddamn sexy-ass fuckers!_

_**The Next Day; Doctor Vas** _

“How are you feeling, (y/n)?”

You were pacing the room like a madwoman. “Do you have to report me if I say I want to punch the General or Lord Ren in the face?”

“Uhm—“

“Because sometimes I think it would be worth a try. Men are so _fucking_ thick. And here I have two _emotionally-challenged_ dickheads seducing me all the time… I would say I’d just hook up with someone else and leave them both, but I’m 99.8 percent positive that Lord Ren would shish-kabob whoever I have sex with on that lightsaber of his. Or the General would shove them out an airlock. Maybe they’d actually work together and do both those things.”

“I… I’m going to have to…call the General…”

You did not pause in your pacing as you threw up your arms and growled in frustration. Doctor Vas did just what he had informed you he would do. You listened as he suggested to your superior that the man join you in your current session. You at last stopped pacing, glaring daggers at the psychologist. You did _not_ want to see the General right at that point. You wanted to vent. You needed to ramble on and on about Kylo Ren and General Hux. A part of you missed Doctor Wiu, yet you could not say with certainty that he would have acted any different than Doctor Vas on this point.

When General Hux arrived at the office, you had your arms crossed over your chest. Your foot was tapping nonstop against the ground. General Hux cast a quick glance at the source of the tapping then turned to the psychologist. You were taking in how the man looked in that greatcoat of his. Distinguished. Even more handsome than usual. Which pissed you of and turned you on at the same time. You huffed, transferring your gaze onto one of the chairs in the office.

“I believe (L/n) needs to address some anger issues,” Doctor Vas said. His next move took you off guard. He lifted your file, held it in both hands, and walked out of the room. The door closed behind him, and you were left alone with the General.

His arms were crossed behind his back, and he turned his eyes to you with that look of almost indifference. His gloved hands held onto his hat, and you came to realize that he had been on his way out—or had just come in from a different building. “Anger issues, (y/n)? I fear Ren may be rubbing off on you in the worst of senses.” His voice was scolding, yet there was a softness you knew was present simply for your sake. Your eyes traveled along the length of his coat. You could not get over how handsome he looked in it.

General Hux closed the distance between the two of you in clipped steps, gauging your reaction with every inch he drew closer to you. He leaned down so that his mouth was level with your ear. You swallowed hard. The heat of his breath gave your skin a deliciously moist feeling. You turned your head so that your mouth was close to his. Neither of you fully closed the gap.

“Each and every behavior that can be construed as detrimental to your position in the First Order is revealed to me.” Your breath hitched, and your eyes searched his face. His expression was unreadable. “Do you truly despise being dominated, (y/n)?” He reached forward with one of his gloved hands, touching your hip with three fingers. He did not rub or caress you. Merely set those digits against your uniform and pressed so that the material of your shirt and pants was pushed closer to your flesh. “Tell me, if you were in a position _above_ me… What is it you would do, (y/n)?”

He kept saying your name in that low, breathy tone. Your eyes were wandering along his lips, his eyes. Those cool blue eyes in which you could lose yourself. You raised a hand to grab him, however he caught your wrist. Appearances were everything. Which is why your heart hiccupped in your chest as the General withdrew his other hand from behind his back and set his hat atop your head. It was not proper protocol. Caps were not worn indoors. Your eyes widened.

“Get undressed,” he said, and you found yourself immediately moving to obey. Your hands removed your uniform, your undergarments. As you accomplished this, you observed the man gracefully slipping out of his greatcoat. He set this around your shoulders, and your chest heaved. Your eyes were wide. “Put it on, (y/n).” You slid your arms into the sleeves, which were too long for you. General Hux removed his gloves, grabbed your wrists, and put them on you instead. He rolled the sleeves of the greatcoat so that your gloved hands were ever visible. “No consequences, (y/n); you’re in charge. _Dominate_ me; unleash that anger of yours.”

“O-on your knees,” you said a little shakily. When he obeyed you without protest, you shuddered a little. “Remove your shirt.” Gaining a little confidence. His hands began moving. “Slowly.” General Hux kept his eyes locked with yours as he exposed his undershirt, which you demanded him to remove a well. His torso was completely naked.

Though you had stripped your clothing from your body, General Hux had demanded that you kept your boots on. You planned to fully take advantage of that. You pressed your right foot against his chest. Leaning closer, you bent your knee and lowered yourself so that your face was closer to his. “Lick it.” Without hesitation, he grabbed your ankle to keep you steady. General Hux lowered his mouth to your boot, his tongue swiping out along the leather. Your face heated up a little at the act, at the way he never dropped his eyes from you as he swirled that organ against the toe of your boot.

Growing a little bolder, you ran your hand in his hair, ruffling it and then gripping some and tugging. You lifted the boot he had been licking and slid your leg over his shoulder, pressing your sex closer to his face. When you repeated the command for him to lick, his tongue immediately teased your clit. He hungrily lapped at your cunt, you pulling on his hair and bucking into the feel of him. You told him to fuck you with his tongue, and he thrust his organ up inside of you. You pressed down, feeling his tongue wriggling around inside of you.

“Fuck, Huxley,” you hissed out in a moan. Afraid you would cum too soon, you pushed his face away. His tongue ran over his lips, licking your juices from them. “Take off your pants. Stop—don’t stand. Stay on your knees while you do it.”

General Hux rose up a little higher, however remained on his knees. He managed to remove his pants without standing, and did so with a certain grace despite his current position. On your orders, he took off his boots then socks, and finally the last piece of clothing that remained on his body. His cock was already half-mast. You pressed one of your leather-clad fingers to your lips and told him to touch himself.

He wrapped his hand around his cock and started to pump himself. You watched him for several seconds before dropping to your knees in front of him. You leaned to his chest, flicking out your tongue and running it along his collarbone. When he dared to touch you with his free hand, you hissed an order for him to not. His hand froze in place. “Don’t touch me,” you said stiffly then drew your tongue down and swirled it around one of his nipples. He groaned, his hand working faster as he jerked himself.

You set your hands against his shoulders and pushed. He followed your nonverbal command, lying on his back. You then batted away his hand and straddled his hips. His cock was against your outer lips. General Hux panted under you, groaning loudly as you rocked forward. The two of you humped at one another, you never quite moving to where his cock would slip into you. You ran your hands, still in his gloves, along his body, up his chest, shifting so that at last you could lower yourself onto his throbbing dick. The General hissed in pleasure, bucking his hips up immediately.

You fucked yourself on his length, rather enjoying being on top. Your teeth danced along his collarbone. You nipped at his flesh, suckling from time to time. At last you made your way to his mouth, your tongue darting out and running along his. You moaned deeply into the kiss and began moving in a way that your clit was stimulated with your movements. You nearly lost your balance as you felt your inner walls pulsing in orgasm. General Hux seized your hips in one hand and set his other against your sternum.

“F-fuck, Hu-hu-Huxley.”

“Feeling better?” he asked, thrusting up once more into you as he came.

“Just as confused,” you admitted. His hands were removing his hat from your head; you were a little surprised it had remained on your head through all your actions. “But… That was…” His fingers were trailing along his coat. Your eyes darted to each of the bite marks you had left on him. “I’m… I’m really not in any trouble for this?”

He sat up, hooked his arms under your ass, and stood with you in tow. You wrapped your arms around his neck, gasping as he began nipping at your throat. “You let Ren bruise you again,” he said. He kissed you lightly. “He can have your neck all his wishes, but then this is mine.” He referred to your collarbone, which he began nipping. You could feel his teeth on your flesh, and your toes curled. When his face rose to yours once more, you cupped it in both hands and pressed your mouth to his.

“Your coat is getting dirty,” you said between kisses.

General Hux drew back, his eyes running down your body and along the material. “I’ll send it out for cleaning.”

“Mm… Doctor Vas must be—“

“I informed him over the phone that he should leave for the day after I arrived.” You tilted your head to the side, watching him. “Ren has already agreed to you spending the night with him.”

“Wh-what?”

“Supreme Leader Snoke informed me that I should consider the benefits of you pleasuring Ren. The drastic drop in repair bills is surely worth looking the other way for now.”

“For now,” you intoned, prompting him to nip at your bottom lip. You ran your tongue along his upper lip, and the two of you kissed again. “It… I-I’ve told Kylo, but you… I feel as though this…bickering between the two of you…involving me… I feel it’s going to tear me apart.”

“We’ve managed to keep the First Order together despite our differences,” he said smoothly. You wrinkled your nose, an argument failing to present itself. Matters of importance would not be obliterated despite their disagreements, that was what the General was telling you. Which caused your heart to hiccup. He considered you important to say such a thing.

“I… What _else_ has been sent your way?”

“Regarding your behavior?”

“Yes.”

“Most unprofessional,” he said. Your eyebrows drew upwards. “So _indecent_.” You shuddered against him, feeling his hands groping your ass. “You _steal_ cafeteria food, (y/n)?”

“I… I was told it was confidential!”

“It’s hardly worth risking your career by stealing _food_ , (y/n).” He was only half-heartedly scolding you. Which is perhaps why you responded by giving him a quick peck on the lips. “It has been your angry outbursts that have been of the utmost concern.”

“This is a very comfortable coat, General.”

“General now, is it?” he said offhand before returning to the comment itself. “There is a reason I keep it, (y/n).” General Hux licked along the rim of your ear. “And not just to fuck you while you’re wearing it either.”

“I know this probably isn’t your favorite topic, but… Did Kylo send you any more faces on the messaging system? Ones that weren’t addressed to me as well, that is.”

“Quite a number of sad faces, actually.” He frowned deeply. You bit the insides of your cheeks then dared to ask how many exactly. “Thirty-seven.”

“All in different messages?”

“Naturally.”

“Did you… Do you get the messages that are sent from my tablet?”

“If you are asking whether or not I knew Ren was entering your room that night—he said nothing that would implicate him, if you recall.”

“So he did know you’d see the messages.”

“It flatters you that he sent them regardless,” General Hux spoke with some unmasked distaste. You rolled your eyes. “Hmm. I see. Are you hinting that you want me to send you messages?” Your cheeks flushed. “Very well, (y/n). I’ll allow this abuse of the messaging system.”

“So unprofessional,” you said, mocking his stern tone. He eyed you with an unreadable expression that had you ducking. “S-sorry, Sir.”

“I’m going to dominate you now, though you apparently loathe such things.”

“I… I think I like it when you do it.”

“Yes… You’re quite adept as well,” he said whilst walking the pair of you over to Doctor Vas’s desk, across which he bent you. Rather than penetrate you as you were expecting, however, he leaned his body across yours and grabbed a tablet and pen. Your eyes watched as he slowly uncapped the pen and began to scrawl on the page.

_: | -Hux_

You grabbed the pen from his hand, moaning a bit as he positioned his cock at your entrance. He began to press into you, meanwhile you drew under his picture.

_; | -(y/n)_

“Is that….a wink or a frown?” he asked, pumping his hips into yours. You met his thrust, responding that it was both. He grunted, snatching the pen from between your fingers. You cupped your chin with your hands, bracing your elbows against the desk so that you did not lose your footing in the least as he continued to fuck you at a leisurely pace.

_> __> \- Hux _

You giggled, lifting your ass a bit so that he could move more deeply into you.

_ < 3 – (y/n)_

You swallowed thickly when he took the pen and circled the heart. General Hux withdrew from you long enough to turn you over. He laid you upon the desk, wrapped your legs around his hips, and reentered you; this time moving with more vigor. You panted under him, your eyes locked with his the entire time as the two of you further sullied his greatcoat.


	15. The New Norm

The New Norm

Captain Phasma entered your workstation the next day, and you could hear her heavy sigh quite clearly. You chanced a peek over your shoulder, ducking a bit when she informed you that ‘your boyfriends’ were ‘fighting again’. You could feel your cheeks heating up a little. It was only natural that Captain Phasma would be privy to your relationship with the two men. She, along with General Hux and Kylo Ren, was a top member in the First Order. You rose from your seat when she did not leave, told the two officers present in the room to complete the current portion of the project, and then allowed Phasma to lead you out of your work area.

Starkiller Base was large; it was quite easy to get lost if one did not know which building was where. Not to mention the various rooms one could enter accidentally. “Ma’am, what are they arguing about?” you asked as you walked by her side.

“Mission plans; what route to take to accomplish with the least amount of casualties. Both their methods are well-thought out.” Meaning she did not wish to take sides. Doubtless, she had sought your company due to the fact that you were one of the only individuals who had witnessed the full extent of the General and Knight’s rivalry. “The flaw in the shield was taken care of, I heard.”

“Yes. It was not anything major at all. Errors in two lines of coding. Our mock attacks have shown that the shield cannot be penetrated. The way to lower it is by our systems alone.”

“Excellent.” You and Captain Phasma continued to walk down the corridor for some time longer before she informed you that the two of you were heading towards the steam room. She wanted to discuss some things with you. No doubt she merely wanted to learn more about the woman that was intimate with the two men she worked so closely beside. You were not insulted in the least, and the idea of spending some time in the steam room was quite a welcome experience.

It was the first time you had seen her out of her armor, and you doubted that many could say that they had had such a privilege. She had short hair and was blonde. Quite strong looking in her own way. She carried herself with such confidence even without the armor that you found yourself still shrinking a little at the idea of being so close to her. The two of you sat on opposite sides of the small room. Each of you were clad only in a towel.

“After learning how you were involved with both Hux and Ren, I looked at your file. I was pleased to learn that sex wasn’t the way you did things.” Your shock and hurt must have crossed your features. “It isn’t easy being a female and advancing so high in the ranks. I respect that you did it on your own.”

“Oh! Uhm… Thank you,” you said, still squirming a little. You understood what she was saying. If others knew that you were providing any sort of sexual favors for General Hux and Kylo Ren, they would have believed similarly. That you were merely attempting to gain a promotion. Apparently, however, you had been put in for the promotion before the daddy incident. “It’s a bit surreal. I mean… They both are very…err…”

“Alpha-males in their own way, yes,” she said, rolling her shoulders. “I tend to avoid confrontation with them where I can. Which one was first, if you don’t mind.”

“Er… General Hux,” you said.

“He still has you call him General?”

“Well, no… He says either Huxy or Huxley are fine.”

“Huxy Hux,” she said with a wide smile. You felt yourself relaxing with her. “How about Ren?”

“He said I could call him Ren, but… I’ve been sticking with Kylo.” Captain Phasma nodded. “I hadn’t even realized I was on their radar until I called the Gen… Until I called Hux ‘daddy’.”

“I have a recording of it,” she said. The woman set both of her arms along the back of the seat behind herself. “I’ll have to show you. The look on his face… He was shocked.”

“Yeah… Not my proudest moment.”

“I wouldn’t tolerate it amongst the Stormtroopers, however… After reading your file and seeing you… It’s quite hilarious.” You could not help but smile. She was much different than what you would have believed her to be. Stormtrooper were loyal soldiers, more-so than the technicians and officers in the First Order. They were the ones who were supposed to avoid individualism and sacrifice themselves for the cause. You had previously believed her to be strict in many more aspects of her life, yet here she seemed…human. “Have you been informed yet that you will not have private quarters?”

“Uh…wh-what?”

“Yes, apparently you will be sleeping either with Hux or Ren. I told them it was a poor idea, however…” She rolled her eyes and raised her hands in the air. “Your things are being divided between the two rooms now. If you feel overwhelmed by those boys, you come visit me. I’ll give you the access code to my room before we leave.”

“Th-thanks…” In the back of your mind, you were thinking, _What the hell am I getting dragged into?_

_**That Night; General Hux’s Quarters** _

Everything was neat and orderly. You wondered for a moment why you had expected anything less. Even your personal items that had been brought had their own designated areas. You were standing in the middle of the room, looking around and feeling out of place, as General Hux changed out of his uniform. You were taken aback at the sight of him in sweats and an undershirt. The man picked up his personal tablet, scrolled through a few things, and at last looked towards you.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m… Why can’t I have my own room?”

“Supreme Leader finds this arrangement will cause fewer issues. The day can be devoted completely to work, while Ren and I can each have our time with you.”

“I…” You wanted to argue, to say that you should have a say in things, and yet… That would be going against Supreme Leader Snoke. A sure death wish, no matter how much Kylo and Hux enjoyed their time with you. “Uhm. Phasma said that I can bunk with her when I feel… Well, before she left, she said during…”

“During menses, yes,” he said absently, having turned once more to his tablet. “Please relax, (y/n).”

“But… What if I misplace something?” He looked up from the tablet again, an amused grin spreading on his face. You felt a blush rise in your cheeks. “It’s just…so orderly.”

“Have I ever made you fold your clothes before sex?”

“I…have to do that now?” 

He sighed heavily. “(Y/n), throw anything you like on the floor. If it irritates me enough, I’ll adjust it.”

“You’re…going to fold my clothes?”

“If I see it fit to do so.” You shyly began to undo the buttons of your uniform shirt. It dropped to the floor, earning the man’s attention for a split second before he looked once more at his messages. Your pants dropped next. Then, walking over to the drawers that Hux had informed you were yours, you pulled out a tank and loose pants. You changed into these then slid onto the bed next to him. “I’ll be a moment. Several departments are filled with incompetent leads that need to be replaced.”

You slipped so that you were behind him. He seemed so tense. This prompted you to place your hands on his shoulders and begin to massage. General Hux pressed into your touch, some of the knots in his back beginning to loosen as you worked them. When he had completed his work, he put away the tablet and remained seated there. You were nearly done rubbing out all his knots, and pulled your hands away only when you had completed this task.

“Lie down, (y/n),” he said. You started to do so, pausing only when he spoke again: “On your stomach.” You turned over and laid upon your belly. It was a strange yet nice feeling, his hands moving along your back as he returned the favor. You relaxed at his touch, sighing a bit.

“That’s nice,” you told him as he moved to your lower back. You hadn’t realized how much tension had built up in it until he was working out the knots and kinks. He kissed you on your shoulder blade. “Mm.”

_**One Week Later; Night; Kylo Ren/Your Quarters** _

You groaned as he pounded into you from behind. His body was leaning across yours, his hands on your breasts. You looked over your shoulder, capturing his lips with yours. Your tongues met in a frenzy of lust. Sweat rolled down your body and his. His groans and your moans filled the room. Kylo thrust himself deeper into you. “Fuck,” he hissed out as both you and he came undone at the same time.

You collapsed onto the bed and rolled onto your back, and the Knight laid down beside you. Your chest heaved, and he was in an equally tired state. “Next week you’ll be with Phasma,” he said. You furrowed your brow then realized that it was likely you would be menstrual towards the end of the week. “She seems to enjoy your company.”

“Well, she does work with predominately males, so… It is nice to have a female you can chat with,” you said, speaking from experience. You rolled onto your side, trailing your fingers along his naked chest. “At first I was put off by this not having my own room thing. I think I like it though. I get two rooms now.”

“Three.”

“Yes, three,” you said, rolling your eyes. You then glanced towards the card that was set flat on the cabinet that held your belongings. It was something Kylo had given to you at random, which was sweet. He had sent a Stormtrooper to deliver the card during a rather busy and hectic day around three days ago. It had definitely helped to lift your mood. “Always have to have the last word, I’m starting to learn.” He looked over at you, a smirk threatening to form on his face, however he managed to hold it back. You cuddled closer to him. “Not stressing about commitments is actually… It’s becoming relaxing.”

“Yes, Hux and I tried to tell you this. The success of the First Order does not allow time for us to do otherwise.”

“Mm. I’m understanding that more and more. But, really, you have to understand that before… I had a little more freedom in a way… On that front, at least. I just needed time to get used to it… Had a lot going on. Tricking you into anger management. Maybe I failed,” you said after a pointed look from him. “Just figuring out… Being able to have things of my own though… It’s been interesting.”

“Speaking with the psychologist seems to be helping.”

“Well, in a way… But it’s moreso speaking with you, and Hux, and Phasma too… It’s been nice. Maybe calling Hux ‘daddy’ was a good thing.” He made a noise next to you. You looked over to see he had turned away. “Are…are you laughing?”

He turned back to you a moment later, his mouth twitching. This was the way you knew he had been laughing. “And now he’s Huxley.”

“And you’re Kylo,” you said, attempting to be snarky.

“Yes. Kylo Ren.” You rolled your eyes, sighing at the way he was smirking at you. He was ever the smartass.

_**Last Day of Menstruation; Captain Phasma’s Quarters** _

“Oh, whyyyy…. Why is it that… I’m _bleeding_ yet I’m so _fucking_ horny!” you groaned, prompting the blonde to look over at you.

She stretched her arms above her head, having just come back from completing a full workout then shower. “The three of you can celebrate together when you’re not bleeding anymore.”

“Uhm… What? No. Which should I go to first? I can’t remember whose day it is…”

“…” She shot you a weird look while making a noise from the back of her throat. You tilted your head to the side. “I’ll take care of this. They need to learn to work together anyway.”

“Wh-what? No… No!” Your cheeks were a fire red. “That… The last time… Oh my…” You could not help but think of when they had worked together to get you off. But to have sex with both of them at the same time? 

Captain Phasma shook her head. “They’ve been at one another’s throat a lot lately. You’ll thank me later.” You curled up. Her words were doing nothing to help your current state of unwanted arousal while your uterus was protesting the world.


	16. Get-Along-Shirt

Get-Along-Shirt

It had almost devolved immediately into a game of tug-of-war; General Hux and Kylo Ren each seizing you and attempting to tug you closer. You had winced, groaning a little and thinking again that this was going to be a poor idea. But Captain Phasma had locked the three of you in this room and swore not to release anyone until Hux and Kylo could work together at least a little better than they had been. Sex was a wonderful stress relief, and for some reason your presence appeared to have a slight calming effect on both Kylo Ren and General Hux even when you weren’t naked or on your knees. This was perhaps why Kylo shifted and, what you would have normally believed to be out of character, allowed the General to draw you out of the Knight’s grasp and towards himself. General Hux cupped the side of your face, his mouth greedily claiming yours.

While you were preoccupied with sliding your tongue along Hux’s, Kylo Ren reached around from behind you and started to slowly undo each of the buttons on your uniform. He trailed down at a lazy pace that prompted you to moan more loudly as the General dominated your mouth. You ran your hands along the redhead’s chest, rocking your hips into his and then pressingly tightly against Kylo’s body as the Knight shifted closer. He had removed his helmet previously, and his mouth now tackled your neck as he undid the final button. You gasped against Hux’s mouth. Kylo drew your shirt down the length of your body until it fell to the floor, and once it was there, he kicked it away.

The taller man seized you by the shoulder, not quite gently and not quite roughly, and whipped you around. He pushed you up against General Hux, who in no way lost his footing. The man behind you seized your hips, grinding hard into your ass. You whimpered, heat pooling between your legs. His hands trailed to your front, pulling down the zipper of your pants as Kylo’s mouth crashed atop yours. You wrapped your arms around the dark-haired man’s neck.

Soon you were dressed in only your undergarments. Hux unclasped your bra simultaneous to Kylo Ren tugging down your panties. They ran their leather-clad hands along your bare flesh, pushing you to the floor and caressing every bit of exposed skin. You reached towards the General’s shirt, scrambling to rid him of it. The two men took a step back from you, and each quickly undressed. You ran your hands along your thighs, goosebumps on your flesh in anticipation. Your mind wandered over how they had worked together the last time to pleasure you. And now it would be more than oral sex.

They knelt on either side of you. General Hux seized the inner portion of your right thigh while Kylo did the same to your left. They spread your legs and placed the hands that were not on your thigh between your legs. Two fingers entered you, and you jumped a bit at the sensation. You shuddered, gasping and rocking against both of them. One of them, you were not sure which, withdrew his finger and trailed it down to your perineum. He drew light circles there as the other man thrust a second digit into your entrance. As you wet around the fingers, you felt the other begin to drag your juices down towards your ass.

Your eyes widened and you blushed hotly as the man prodded. “Uh…uhm… I…” You were beginning to pant, a third finger entering you and caressing your vaginal walls as a single finger slipped into your ass.

“Relax,” they both breathed out. You blinked a few times, holding onto a portion of their arms. You tightened your hold on Kylo’s arm while the hand you had upon the General slipped upwards further on his limb. The Knight leaned down and suckled at your neck. From the way to angle against your ass changed, you were able to figure out whose hand was where. Genearl Hux curled and uncurled his fingers within you. You swallowed hard as a second finger pressed against then slipped inside of you.

Kylo rubbed your thigh soothingly as he added a third finger and began to stretch you. You winced a little as you adjusted to the sensation. Hux removed his hand from your other thigh to fondle your breasts. “Go into my pants pocket. Left,” the General said to the Knight. Kylo withdrew his fingers from you, and you found that you missed their presence. You heard Kylo Ren rummage through the Geneal’s discarded pants. Looking over at him, you saw him holding a bottle of lubricant. He opened it, squirted some into his hand, and started to spread it along his cock. 

You bit down on your bottom lip at the sight. General Hux, meanwhile, laid down and pulled you onto his lap. You placed your hands on his chest as you were lowered onto his throbbing dick. “Mmm,” you moaned. “Huxy Hux.” Behind you, Kylo snorted as he knelt behind you. “Shut up, Kylo,” you said while rolling your eyes. The man kissed the back of your neck, lining himself up with your ass and pushing inside.

You stiffened immediately, prompting the Knight to place a hand on your spine and slowly rub you there. Hux, keeping his hips as still as possible, ran his hands along your sides. They both said soothing words to you, however you could not register exactly what was said so much as the tone. You felt Kylo’s lips pucker against your neck several times. He reached down with the hand that was not rubbing your back and placed three fingers against your clit. He rubbed slowly. The more you grew aroused, you found that you were able to better adjust to having two men inside of you at the same time.

“Okay… Okay, I’m good,” you said. Underneath you, the General grunted. He rolled his hips upwards simultaneous to when Kylo started to move as well. It took them a few times before they were moving in a rhythm where you could meet both their thrusts. “Mmm… That’s nice,” you moaned as Kylo flicked at your clit and General Hux leaned up and seized one of your breasts in his mouth. He swirled his tongue around your nipple, rolling it. You groaned as their hands roamed along your body. Your skin felt as though it were on fire.

You trailed one hand lazily along Hux’s body underneath you, and used the other to reach behind and run your fingertips on Kylo’s stomach. Kylo bucked up harder into you, causing your hips to stutter against Hux’s. The General bit at your collarbone, sucking and nipping. Kylo Ren reached around, setting his hand against your throat. You found yourself growing hotter as the pressure was added to your neck. You gasped for air, sweat starting to roll down your body as you worked yourself on their cocks. They were both groaning out swears of appreciation.

Kylo pulled out of you and started to tug you off of General Hux, who started to pull you back against him. The redhead then grit his teeth, and you assumed Kylo was using the Force to push away his hands from you. The Knight pulled you onto his lap, thrusting up inside of you. The General quickly seized the bottle of lubricant that Kylo had sent nearby. He laved it on his cock then entered you from behind. You gasped and sucked in air as they both fucked you faster than previous. Teeth were on your flesh, nipping while tongues swirled. Both had a hand on one of your breasts, pinching the nipples and tugging in a delightful way. Their other hands were on your pubis, your clit. You were swearing, saying both their names, perhaps mixing them together from time to time as flashes went through your mind. You could hear blood pulsing in your ears as you came hard.

Your walls, vaginal and anal, clenched around their cocks. Their groans mingled with yours as they ejaculated within you. Kylo and Hux both continued to pump inside of you until they were fully softened. They were lying on the ground on either side of you, and you were staring up at the ceiling.

“Should we tell the kind doctors that we have successfully completed a task together?” Kylo drawled out. You whipped your head to the side and stared at him incredulously. On your other side, you heard General Hux snort in mild amusement. “I hear Doctor Wiu plans on having us color together again.”

“Ah, yes, the appointment tonight,” General Hux said, which allowed you to remember that Doctor Wiu had arrived on Starkiller the previous night and wanted to see what progress had been made after hearing such promising things from Captain Phasma. “Be sure to _not_ break any crayons.”

Kylo regarded the redhead coolly, opting to say nothing. You ran a hand along your forehead then through your hair. “I feel like… a get-along-shirt.”

“A what?” Hux asked, sliding his eyes to you.

“Oh. Nothing. I meant to keep that in my head.”

“You’re comfortable to wear,” Kylo said, and you heard from your other side the General make a noise of agreement. 

It was in this way that you decided you did not mind being placed between them in their pissing contests. On days when they were having a particularly heated discussion, you would later find yourself gasping and moaning as you were filled by them. You had found a way to begrudgingly thank Captain Phasma for her part in getting the two to get along. The four of you all abused the messaging system; Kylo, Phasma, and you occasionally scolded by the General when things were taken too far. To which Kylo would always have the last word.

_: ( - Kylo_

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you saw the message flashing. Beside you, Genearl Hux massaged his forehead. “He’s technically right,” you said, running your toes against his naked leg.

“Very well. It’s his night.” You leaned up, kissed him on the lips, and pulled on some loose clothing. You picked up your holopad, told Kylo that you would be there shortly, and then headed away. “Night, Huxley.”

“Goodnight, (y/n).”

A few minutes later”

“Hey, Kylo.”

“Did you have fun with daddy?”

“Lots of it,” you shot back, causing him to pause. A smirk crossed his lips at last as you started to undress. “I’m glad you’re back.” You cuddled against him. He no longer tensed when you initiated things, and you did not fear him retreating from you. “I hear there are repairs needed on the Command Shuttle. Bad news?”

“It’s been remedied.” Hux’s plans to get Kylo’s anger fully in check had been a bust, yet his outbursts did seem to have lessened in other ways. Sex was a great stress relief for him.

“What are you doing?” you asked as he typed up a message no his holopad. You looked down at the screen.

_Sorry I broke your computer. : ( - Kylo_

“…you’re so mean to Huxley,” you said, clicking your tongue against the roof of your mouth. His response was to hand you a scrap of paper. You sighed, knowing full well it would have a sad face. You leaned up and captured his mouth with yours. “Start drawing me happy faces too, Kylo.” He reached behind himself, handed you a paper, and you blushed when you opened it. A heart that you had drawn. Circled by him. Whether they wanted to admit it or not, General Hux and Kylo Ren had some similarities that caused your heart to flutter. This was probably why sex between the three of you occurred more often than you had believed it would.

Thankfully, the therapy sessions had ended and you were no longer on medication for anxiety. Being able to speak freely with Captian Phasma helped a lot. And the sex. Ah, the sex. You sighed as Kylo Ren rolled on top of you. You had never believed you would be personally praised by the Supreme Leader’s hologram. The fact that it was due to your sexual relations with two of your superiors? Calling General Hux daddy had been the best thing to have ever happened to you.


End file.
